Age appropriate??

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So I just need to know does anyone else have a SD between the age of 13-15yrs old that still acts like they are 9 or 10?? I just don't get it.... SD is 14 but thinks she is suppose to get the same gifts and attention as 3yr olds. Like I'm so over it... I can't do anything for my own kids with SD running in wanting the same for herself. Maybe it's just me, but I thought at this age she wouldn't be this needy. Somebody help me... I just can't stand it! And DH feeds into.... he is so worried that if she doesn't get a ton of gifts she want be happy or something. I don't feel that gifts are the answer to making people feel good about themselves. I don't know.... just my rant for the night.

And DH feeds into.... he is

And DH feeds into.... he is so worried that if she doesn't get a ton of gifts she want be happy or something.

That, right there ^^^ is the problem. He is not facilitating her emotional growth, he is hindering it.

Yes!! But how do you tell

Yes!! But how do you tell someone that about there own child? He really doesn't see he.... he just keeps saying "she hasn't had a real Christmas in years" ..... but that was a choice for SD to have terrible behavior and lash out around this time every year. I just feel like it's teaching her the wrong thing.

Easy

Just say it.

It's probably more noticeable

It's probably more noticeable when it's not your own kids but I had this conversation with my coworkers a couple of weeks ago. One has a 17 yr old SD who will throw a tantrum when they don't have a certain food in the house and her mom runs out and gets it every time.

My SD is five and a half and won't use the bathroom unless her dad is in the room with her.

At 14 your SD definitely needs to learn independence. Adulthood is only a few years away!

What does your DH mean that she hasn't had a real Christmas in years? I believe that every kid in the house should get a similar amount/dollar value of gifts. DH obviously feels guilty about something but no amount of gifts is going to fix that. I know that in my situation my SO feels guilty for only seeing his child half the time and definitely overindulges her to a point that drives me crazy. You're definitely not alone.

Merry Christmas!!

In my opinion, kids in

In my opinion, kids in general are immature these days, but emotionally troubled kids are even more immature. My almost 21 SS seems 15 - but my Niece24, who is from a good home acts younger too - she seems 19 or 20 to me. Adolescence is going longer and kids are taking longer to mature and become adults.

The immaturity is directly

The immaturity is directly related to the parenting, "good home" or not. These days parents are raising children instead of raising adults. IMHO.

To some degree. But it seems

To some degree. But it seems like a cultural thing as well now.

It does seem cultural... kids

It does seem cultural... kids no longer *gasp* do chores or work. It is almost like a status symbol that your children "don't have to do" those things. It's odd...almost like stepford mommy is looking down her nose at you that your children should "have to do housework" and you are "stealing their childhood from them".

The only responsibility they have is their social media, video games and "school" - except they all but get homework done for them. Heaven help they get a poor grade "because the teacher doesn't like them" and mommeee forces a class swictch.

Also, a lot of parents spend too much time on social media (posting pictures of their "perfect family") to actually "teach" kids what they should/need to know.

Parents are raising kids, not adults.

I get that you feel it's all

I get that you feel it's all parenting - I don't. I think it's the culture of social media which has affected social skills, as well as the endless fear-mongering in the news about how dangerous everything is. Even parents who push kids to be independent find their kids anxious to drive and anxious to grow up in general. There is more to it than parenting, it's not that simple.

I agree in general kids are

I agree in general kids are more immature in general these days. But if you look at those that are immature vs those that have Thier acts together it comes down to parenting and expectations.

Kids allowed to live Thier lives completely on social media or video games have poor social skills. Kids who play sports, have extracurricular activities, chores, responsibilities and are pushed tend to do better.

My niece has launched and

My niece has launched and lives in another town from her parents (she lives in my town, they live 1.5 hours away). She went to college and had a grown-up job that she lost shortly after the pandemic, but she didn't move back in with her parents, which was good. So on the surface she seems grown-up, but emotionally she just seems so much more immature than I remember being at that age. It's hard to explain.

My mom was married with two kids at her age, and she's still kind of whiny about having to be an adult.

Seems like, to me anyway, the

Seems like, to me anyway, the parts of "adulting" that newly minted adults hate most are the things they were not taught to become proficient. Even if they got an "overview" of said task...but never were really actually made to do it repetitively.

Take for instance my older son - he is pretty darn good at most things... laundry, cleaning, bill paying, meal planning/buying/cooking, he can even fill out employment forms, including benefits selection. But the one darn thing that he gets all bent about is making medical/dental/vision appointments. Which is kindof ironic since he currently works in heathcare...

I had him listen in a few times when he was a teen...but honestly I was at work most of the time when doing any of that and he was generally healthy/no cavities until 20yrs old. I really didn't have many opportunities to teach him that...so he lost out on that education AND experience of doing it. THAT is the petty thing he hates doing. Because he wasn't taught to become proficient.

Imagine young adults that haven't been taught to proficiency, trudging out and basically having to fumble through everything or even half of the "normal" things trying to figure it all out. That is exactly what is happening.