Mama’s Boy SS and Princess SD
I'm 58 and I’ve been married for nearly 1.5 years. My wife and I were together for 2 years prior to getting married. During this time her grown son and daughter were both married and doing seemingly well. They are both getting divorced after nearly 3 years (each one got married in the same year 2 months apart) and both are living back home where they grew up but also where I live too. I’m renting my house and living with my wife at her house. I’m now learning that her son is the epitome of a mama’s boy and has an eating disorder among other issues and her daughter has never suffered a negative consequence in her life and has her own issues including being paranoid about the least little change in how she feels, I’ve taken her to the ED 5 times in the last 1.5 years. She has no concept of being responsible for herself and costs us a ton of money. Her son at least has a good work ethic and only costs a small amount of money. He will be 38 and she will be 28 in 2021. I am at the end of my rope and starting to think that I can’t be a part of this situation much longer and divorce seems imminent. I really really need help or at the very least someone to talk to who can understand and empathize with me and my situation. Sorry for the purging but this is why I’m here.
So....what is the plan for
So....what is the plan for them to move out? Don't have one? Time for a sit down with your wife to discuss a launch plan for her adult children.
At 38 and 28 they should be fully capable of supporting themselves.
And why is HER daughter costing YOU anything? If you have "shared" finances with your wife, it sounds like it is time to split them. Also, I would have a very very difficult time paying more than 1/4 of the "home expenses".
Yikes, if your wife doesn't wake up, I don't blame you for thinking divorce might be eminet.
I would sit her down and
I would sit her down and establish a launch plan. If she doesn't follow through. I would advise taking your money and either moving back to your house or keeping that income and getting a small studio apartment. If she wants to continue the relationship she can come see you at your place.
Have you told your wife what
Have you told your wife what you just told us?
Both of her kids are old enough to stand on their own two feet - a divorce doesn't mean you can't live alone, it just means y ou have to downsize. I presume (as there was no mention) that neither of them has any children. They should not be leeching off of you and their mother. Giving them a helping hand is one thing but they are now so comfortable that they have taken root. Well, who wouldn't if they had such a cushy number that cost them nothing.
As the other posters have said, you need a launch plan with a very definitive and not too distant deadline and no wriggle room. If not, pack your things and leave. Don't hesitate to get a divorce because you don't want to be tied to any debt your wife racks up from paying for her pathetic offspring.
As the others said, stop
As the others said, stop spending money on another adult who is not your responsibility. Separate finances if need be. I'd also consider moving back to your home until your wife makes these freeloaders move out. Please set limits on them all (wife too) now, don't keep putting up with this.