So delusional it's scary.
Hey guys I cant believe it's the last week of October already time is flying! Well we just heard from SD again. She reached out to my MIL and got my MIL's hopes up only to unleash her anger. She sent her the most delusional text message in history. It's really eye opening how disturbed she is.
She starts out by saying she has to hurt us its the only way. She has never had a connection with any of us her entire life. She has never felt any real love from us ever since she was a little girl. She is tired of being used as a prize in a "our game" and tired of us trying to buy her love with lavish gifts and money(lol). She goes on to say she was the warrior of our family by taking on all our burdens and putting them upon herself to carry (um, what?) She says she has been the glue keeping the family in one piece for so many years and she is finally worn out. She is tired of being unappreciated and undervalued. She said we used up all her love and "greatness". We had a girl to replace her tired, worn soul. SD said that although her family is poor and doesn't have much they are her true family and have shown her so much love without materialistic things. She ended things by saying it is time I put myself first for once and stop wasting my energy on toxic people who do not care for me. She said maybe one day in the future when she is ready to speak to us she will come back but until then we need to learn to live without her and figure things out on our own without her help.
WHAT!?!?!? The whole message highlighted how messed up she is. She is living on an entirely different planet. What burdens did we put on her? She is spoiled rotten and never had to do anything she didn't want to do. She has never even heard us argue in front of her yet we put all our problems on her. She says everyone (us, grandparents, Aunts, Uncles, distant cousins) put their stress and burdens upon her and it became too much to carry. She sees her Aunts, Uncles, and some distant cousins maybe 6 times a year yet they run to her to unload their problems on. She has spent years being nasty and disrespectful but this whole time she was struggling to keep the family in one piece?
When this whole thing started she was angry because we would "never" buy her anything she wanted or take her on shopping sprees whenever she asked. She was mad because we didn't give her money to buy stuff to keep her comfortable at our home. She made fun of us for being "poor" and not buying a house where she could have her own bathroom and "chill space " in addition to her bedroom. She would say how rich they were and how maybe one day we would get lucky to live like they do.
This kid is crazy. I know 95% is BM's influence but it just blows my mind. BM lost big in the divorce ( no childsupport or alimony) stuck living in a house with 10 other people. So now we are the ones all about money and put wealth above her. I just can't believe a kid could be so out of touch with reality.
The good news
The good news is she wants no contact. OKAY! Just hoping your MIL doesnt get too uoset and/or manipulated.
Perhaps with some no-contact time to mature, she will be more realistic. I, too, hear warped, delusional versions of the past from SD. My DD says part of it is rehearsal. If we bite, she knows thats a version that others (therapist, new boyfriends, etc) might accept.
That just sounds like
That just sounds like somebody who's gotten a new therapist or just read a new self-help book and is really into it.
That letter sounds like she is doing some affirmations to try to convince herself as well as your MIL of these things. I agree that this is probably coming just as much from BM.
BM has also told my DH that "he doesn't appreciate" SD enough. These delusional people think that anything less than reverence and total anticipation of their wants and whims is not enough. Oh and if you can't read their mind and know what they want then YOU are the selfish one.
Narcissists, man.
SD definitely sounds immature
SD definitely sounds immature and self-absorbed - playing the victim card and feeling better by sending a nasty text. I agree you're lucky she wants no contact other than the delivery of nasty-grams. Everyone is on a different path to adult maturity - looks like she's on a long one. If confronted, I would suggest you recommend professional counseling to her as she's probably dealing with long-term pain/anger issues.
Supposedly she is in therapy.
Supposedly she is in therapy. BM won't say who she sees or what office she even goes to. BM said they didn't accept DH's insurance and asked for $140 weekly to cover the cost despite seeing them for several months. DH told her no pick one in his network and we haven't heard a peep since. She won't tell DH who she sees and it is not showing up on the insurance overviews. We don't know what's going on.
Are you saying you guys are
Are you saying you guys are paying the $140 per week? Without documentation?? I hope not!
No he isn't. When BM found
No he isn't. When BM found out we were in the hospital having the baby she went on a rampage demanding more money and for him to cover the $140 weekly sessions. She said it was his fault by having the baby and causing SD's breakdown so we were responsible for the full cost. He told her no pick a therapist in his network. We never heard from her since nor have we seen any new therapists or services on the insurance statements. I'm pretty sure none of it was true she pulled the same thing months earlier. Back in June BM called and said SD needed an "operation" due to a health issue related to the stress caused by us having a baby. Supposedly her medicaid or the insurance he provides wouldn't cover the procedure and she was searching for a surgeon to do it but needed 5,000 from DH asap. He told her to send him copies of everything and give him the doctor's info but she refused. I guess the "operation" was no longer needed.
Yikes. That's such an
Yikes. That's such an unfortunate situation. I feel especially bad for your husband. Best to distance as much as possible from the BM & SD. As they say, you can't fix crazy.
that post says to me
mental illness. your SD has something going on mentally. Maybe a personality disorder
I fully predict that one SS
I fully predict that one SS will be sending DH a similar letter...or maybe sending it to MIL...in a few years.
He's already started in on how DH doesn't pay for "anything" for him and BM pays for "everything". He's told DH that he "doesn't pay enough" child support. We'll be adding a baby to our family in a few weeks and his new thing is to say to DH, "you're having a new baby and you don't want to spend any time with me!!!" He's supposedly told BM that he feels that we are just having a baby because DH wants to replace him, but when pressed by DH, he claims he said nothing of the sort.
How old is he to be telling
How old is he to be telling your husband he doesn't pay enough childsupport?
Yeah, SD (now 21) wrote
Yeah, SD (now 21) wrote something similar at the same age as yours. “You should be so grateful to mum! My tuition, rent and bills don’t pay themselves you know!”. The tuition was actually paid by her dad on top of child support. And rent?! What rent? BM ended up with the marital home!
Applause!
She wrote herself off. Good riddance.
Get on with your lives and let her rot.
End of issues.
I agree with Rags. Don't feed
I agree with Rags. Don't feed the troll.
fun fact: therapy only works when you work though the actual truth. Clearly she isn't doing that. Write it off and move on.
It bothered me enough that I re-read your OP.
It is time to adopt the "Laugh raucously in her pathetic face" tactic with this delusional, pathetic, POS, purposefully mental case of a write off spawn.
Keep her the hell away from your home, family, and the rest of the kids. Even the ones she is full sibs with. For damned sure keep her away from your precious new baby.
Toxic people are a write off regardless of who they may be.
smh
Please tell me DH did not bite on BM's demand for his to pay the $140 for this kids ineffective therapy and that instead he laughed in BM's face. She is the source of this pathetic crap and she and the SD need to be kept in a very tight toxic idiot box to protect the rest of the family as much as possible.
Buh-by toxic spawn. And good riddance.
IMHO of course.
No.. wait. Better yet, take her pathecit delusional email to MIL and reply line by line with reality baring her toxic ass, BM's troxic ass, and providing detailed facts for each and every delusion she is choosing as her reality. Lather, rinse, repeat.. her entire pathetic life until she either extricates her head from her ass or is permantly welcomed in the the Chez Rubber Room Villas for the purposefully delusional.
I would have so much fun plowing the earth with the noses of this pathetic lying POS and her BM.
Have fun!!!!!