Like you I have no problem with sexuality whether it is lesbian, gay, straight, bisexual, or whatever.  But SD23 "came out" as bisexual to NPD BM when she was about 13 or 14, I seem to recall.  Over the years since, she has not once had a girlfriend, although numerous boyfriends, so I think it was just an attention seeking device.  One of many.  

Once kids are teenage, I honestly see limited benefit of "standing over them" metaphorically speaking, while they do homework.  My attitude was, if they want to fail, fine.  By age 13 or 14 they ought to be able to self regulate sufficiently to get their assignments (or most of them, most of the time) in on time.  If they don't, they can take the consequences themselves, I didn't get involved hardly at all.  Needless to say, both my bios went on to get degrees in business studies and technology. 

My BD14 tells me she bi, gay, trans, gender neutral all the time.  I roll with it and figure once she finally starts dating then we will see.  It seems to be a trendy thing to do for that age range.  The only thing I did tell my BD is she negates the true struggle people go through by using this as an attention seeking item rather than understanding  what  any of those lifestyles really entail. 

Thank God that attitudes are more enlightened nowadays.  I attended the wedding this weekend.  People keep subtly asking what I think about it.  All I want is for her to be happy and she is.  I hope they can navigate all the issues.  Life can be tough and that will add pressure.

Sadly, her wife, "M"'s family has disowned her, only an aunt, uncle and cousin attended.  M is a lovely, kind, sweet person.  They sent pictures from their honeymoon.  I told DH, want to see 2 happy people?

We now have primary custody of SD--now SS--but the story is still the same.  Hugely narcissistic BM and SK desperate for attention at any cost.  The medical games, the transient sexual identity, etc.  It's like there's a playbook for these crazy HCBMs and their spawn.

We're at the stage where SD--now SS--has decided that he's transgender (first out as lesbian, then non-binary, then transgender).  He wants to change his name, wants to start hormone therapy, and have top surgery, all of which has been announced progressively over the last 5-6 months.  And SS doesn't understand anything going slow, so he's creating conflict between BM and us that we're not even creating.

I can say that by having him in our house, we are better able to manage his school stuff.  That's a thing.  And he's able to drop off the college track (where he doesn't belong) and work toward a vocational diploma, which is great, but everything else still sucks.  He just doesn't know what to do other than create drama, since that is all BM has taught him.

I've had a bunch of conversations with SD13 on this topic because she has come home saying "so and so says they area bi etc." 

I am a full supporter of the LGBTQ community. I've explained to her that most (based on the girls she describes ) of is attention seeking and more importantly it's really unfair to the kids who actually could be struggling with the fact that they ARE feeling a specific way. 
 

Sometimes I feel that SD actually might be "on the fence" with this topic. I've never expressed this to SO but, I want her to feel that she can talk to me about it if maybe that's how she is feeling. 

OSD came out as "bi" to DH and I at a restaurant dinner with BM and YSD. NO I didn't want to go but I did, kept my mouth shut. The whole evening was just wierd.  When she told us DH and I kind of just went "Um, OK, that's fine." Not a big deal for any of us. However, I think OSD was disappointed it wasn't a drama - she demanded BM get the bill and she practically RAN out of there. DH was PO'd at her attitude.

I simply told DH I didn't care WHAT she identified as because a b*tch is still a b*tch.

When we last saw her over a year ago on our family trip she kept ranting about how terrible men are and how she doesn't understand how lesbians EVER get together with men (they are inferior in her eyes). I had to tell her to, basically, shut up one time because she was NOT going to make judgements about my friends whom she knows nothing about. DH's sister thought it was an attention ploy and a way to identify with BM (we think BM is either a lesbian or asexual, more likely a closet lesbian for whatever reason).

But neither SD has/had (when living with us) ever really been on a date or had a crush on anyone or even been interested like a 'normal' kid would. They both have relationship/people issues for sure.

I have two step daughters and four daughters. My youngest is six but the other five have all said they are lesbian at some time or other and then change their mind and then change it again and then change it again. SD21 I think really is and I really really loved her last gf. The others are young and just jump on the band wagon. All their friends back and forth too with being trans or binary or something else. I just say I support you and I do but do I think it's a fad, yes I do. Especially Dd15 I see the way she bats her eyes and twirls her hair around boys and to myself I think , "yeah.ok." Her friend Ashley was Ash for about two years here but is now back to being a girl and now wants to be called Willow. All of their friends at school are like this too. Their Instagram bios say they are a whole litany of different sexualities and some of these kids are 11

Twin 12 yr SDs here broke alienation silence to tell their dad one was a lesbian with a girlfriend and other was bisexual with public tiktoks announcing it.  We don't care if they really are but feel this is just an attention grab and opportunity for their mother to put another "I'm a mother of this oppressed class of society child" sticker on her car.   The more broken they act (such as having the feelings hurt by just a glance or a kid going out of turn or being a commonly bullied identity or faking a "sensory processing disorder") the more attention they get from their mother.  

Ugh I am glad to read this thread.  My SD23 identifies as:  non-binary trans masculine asexual vegan latinx (even though she is white, her grandmother on her mother's side was from Colombia).  Requires they/them pronouns (but now recently said they will 'allow' he) and goes nuts if someone makes a mistake.  Changed their name to a gender-neutral name as they didn't want name BM gave them (they don't speak).  We had started family therapy and the first therapist actually quit on us because narcissist SD sent an email complaining of hurt feelings that therapist didn't use the correct pronoun (once, it was an accident).  Next therapist was nice, but useless, and used validation therapy which I don't think helps with a raging narcissist like SD.  SD sent an highly obnoxious email after one session saying they didn't appreciate us sharing our experiences of moving away from home in our early 20's since they are trans and started hormones and are growing facial hair and feel like a 14-year old boy, and therefore us cis-normative (basically) simpletons should not speak of our 'easy' lives because they are so special.  They also feel we should not "pressure" them to confirm when they are having surgeries (huh?  I never asked to know any of this and never once asked about any surgery plans.  They actually brought it up themselves!). 

I disengaged after this and am so much happier already.