I never thought I would see the day when SD21 actually left our home. But after the light switch moment where I realized how I was giving her narc supply described in an earlier post, it was like she understood the supply source was drained, and like a scavenger, she left looking for a new victim and launched. She has circled back to test several times if I again give supply, but I see right through it, and then not giving her what she wants and not going into the fixer role has been super easy and surprisingly efficient. I feel like I have gotten my home and happiness back. Now the Sd and BM drama is not affecting my life anymore, which is liberating. 

Her most recent attempt was when she did not get into college(big surprise!), she only applied for spots with a grade-point average of two or three whole grades higher than she has. She even put medical school as her second choice, how utterly ridiculous for a person that never did school work, and free graduation (due to corona), and group work was the only reason why she graduated(a true blessing). She wants into "a-level" studies due to her narcissism, I guess. 

When she did not get in, she sent me a message asking me to calculate for her what it would cost her to pay top dollar for a private institution that gives degrees. I knew that she wanted me to feel bad, offering to pay it for her or make drama if I did not reply. So I simply replied what it would cost and left it at that. I can't believe she actually thought I would take up a huge loan to pay for her higher education (we live in a country were ordinary college is basically free, so this is culturally very uncommon)and to make it even worse, she wanted to take an education working with people that are in the end stages of their lives and provide support for people dying. (she has an unsettling fascination of seeing a person die and there is no way I would support that either)

There has been massive drama at BM house since her boyfriend and father of her second child has grown a pair now that their son is bigger. He has told her that he is done. Still, she refuses to accept that, or make any arrangements, so she is stonewalling not wanting to move out and saying that she will buy him out of their apartment. Still, she does not have the money for that, so she is trying to squish her elderly parents for money. And now that she does not get to use her boyfriend's money on beer and shopping anymore, she is very unstable and runs after the boyfriend with knives and breaking his stuff. The now ex-boyfriend is calling her parents and asking for help. Sd is calling DH and complaining about how her mother is sending her messages and being very emotionally draining, even if they are not living together since SD is living with a friend. Dh is telling Sd you are an adult now just focus on other things and live your life better than that, but then the convo just ends. This is the only time SD calls Dh or if she wants money, but DH is not giving in more than what is expected like birthdays or Christmas. Her last birthday Dh wanted to spend time with her, so he asked her out for dinner, SD accepted, but when the day came she did not even want to sit down with him and eat, she made him deliver restaurant food at her door. 

 So as mentioned, BM and SD relationship is also strained. But when Sd did not get into college, they decided to have a huge pretend fraternity party drinking together with a toga party theme in the middle of the covid19 pandemic...smdh