Yes, thats a super-duper hard situation. My DH's close friend is getting married in October. I havent heard any news about a shower...but Ive been opting out of any going out, and have no desire for any future going outs. Even for outdoor seating.

Sorry you are having to go through all this stress. The younger folks dont really think of this as a serious deal - its only affecting the sick and old...

For me, it would depend on where you are (high covid/low covid rates) and the venue (ie, can people be seated separately so there is social distancing, etc)

I'd be okay with going to a wedding wearing a mask, if I can sit far from others.  But I'm in a low covid state (right now).

I would wait until closer to December to make a decision. A lot can change in 4 months.

I would not go either. There are many stories of families hit hard due to big gatherings in close spaces without masks.

I think if you politely decline the shower due to high-risk health issues and send a nice gift they'll be understanding (unless they're COVID deniers or buy into conspiracy theories). Would they consider doing a video chat for part of the shower so you can participate in at least some of it?

Sorry that you feel stressed about this.

Hey, have you thought about asking one of the attendees to set UP a face time thingy for anyone who can not attend?

Especially those who are elderly or in frail health?

We did that for my brothers funeral...so many people could not attend because of covid I know it is a Bridal Shower but I bet you and your mom would love to watch it live.

Anyone with a sliver of common sense knows the elderly or compromised health should do their best to stay put. I am a little surprised the Bride has not brought her 'understanding' to the table yet?

Maybe she is just waiting for a covid to dissipate like all of us are???

I would just tell her based on everything, right now, you and your mom will not be physically going BUT you will do everything in your power to help. Then ask about the facetime thinging.

So no way I would go to someone else's!  Definitely let them know you won't be there u less by zoom!

Oh lord, do not go. I sat in on another info session about COVID status from a COVID investigator (i.e. scientist) yesterday and please stay home - he very strongly stated that we should NOT be gathering in groups at all as the spead is growing and it's the only way to stop it or slow it.

Do a virtual meet up - they can be fun too; it's not the same but if gifts are sent to the bride, she can always have a virtual party.  I think it's necessary. 

It's also wise to discuss cancellation policy for the wedding sites due to COVID issue if needed.

....my parents are going to a weeding in early Aug, from Phoenix to Las Vegas. They are driving. They told me after I once again told them the should not go...but it's our frieeeeeend, and but there's only eiiiiiighhhhht people theeeeeeere, etc. 1 -  it's your friend and you want to keep them, right? 2 - you don't socialize with ANY of the people there do you so you don't know who/if they've been exposed 3 - small wedding but drive, hotel, dinner, breakfast lunches, you will be interacting with a lot of people!

I am afraid that my parents will get it and will die from it as they act like it's 'just the flu' and disregard all medical information. Both have double risk-factors. They only thing we can do is inform and let them make their decisions while making ours at the same time.

If you all want to, could you do a drive-by parade to wish the bride well and drop off gifts outside? You could decorate the vehicles, play some sort of fun music, etc. It shows the bride you call care and also gives a big middle finger to BM (and I'm in a grumpy mood so that would be an awesome side effect).

Will hold the party. So it's has to be backyard thing.  I would not go unless it only ten to twenty people   BM most likely will be there ?

It does stink. But you can't enjoy seeing the happy couple thrive in life if you're dead. It is ok to turn invitations down right now. Even big life events. Just let them know where you stand and that you would have liked to attend if it weren't for covid. Call them, video chat, send your gift and know that you are protecting yourself and those you live with. 

Its too much of a risk and as others have said you can't celerate the rest of their lives if you end up dying from C19.  A wedding is only one day.

Is there any chance that the young couple are overwhelmed by really wanting to go ahead but knowing its the wrong thing to do and just need some help to work through their decision?