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Is there something wrong with me?

ITB2012's picture

To show DS something I had to go far back in my pictures on my phone. And so I started cruising through some old stuff. Found pictures of my house (that was mine and would have been paid off a few months ago had I stayed in it).

Its been 8.5 years and I miss my house. Not like nostalgia. Like I want to move back there right now. Like feel happy thinking about being there and remorse that I'm not there.

I'm jealous DS is moving to his own place for college in a month. Tiny little place. In a basement. Not jealous because I remember being young and just starting. Jealous because I remember having my own place and that sense of pride of ownership and zen of things in their place. 

Comments

Aniki-Moderator's picture

Nothing wrong with you, hon. I believe it's a sign that you're not entirely happy with your current situation. {{hugs}}

halo1998's picture

I frequently think back to the time when it was just me and my kids in my house.  I had every other week all to myself.  Ah...the quiet....

ESMOD's picture

I think back to the first home I bought.. It was a cute little 3br 1 bath on 3 acres with a cute 2 stall barn with tack room and hay loft.  It was mostly cleared and fenced.  Built a nice 2 car garage on it with storage above.  It cost 85K... for the house.. if I had kept it.. it would be paid off.

Yes, I miss that place, I miss having a small "affordable" simple financial place.  I miss having my horse stuff all set up perfectly.  I miss a place that was private and all.  

I don't think it's bad to look back.. but it was a different time too.. just different.

susanm's picture

Nothing wrong or unusual at all.  I was thinking something similar just this morning.  It is just DH and I in the house now but I had "bought" the line that the constant mess was the fault of the skids and BM's influence on attitudes toward cleaning.  It was not.  He is a slob who is content to live in chaos and it is driving me mad.

tog redux's picture

Honestly? I don't think you are happy in your marriage. At least that's the vibe I get from your posts - that you put up with your DH but don't feel much love or happiness with him anymore.

When I met DH, I had a great house that I loved. It was a small, old house with beautiful hardwoods, leaded glass windows and gumwood trim.  When I married DH we moved to the house we are in now, because it was bigger and in SS's school district (BM moved him out of that district immediately after, but that's another blog).  It's a boring, cheaply made, suburban house on a busy road. I hate the suburbs, the only thing good about where we live is that there are walking trails close by. My little house was in the city, where I prefer to live.

That all being said - while I have fond memories of the house, I don't wish I was back there, single.  I do kind of wish we had chosen to stay there together rather than move here, but it was too small, and here we have a bigger yard for the dog.  I wouldn't give up my marriage to have my house back.

ITB2012's picture

That is what is wrong and why I'm pining for my old house. DH doesn't think he is because he's a softy with his kids but he's a hard person to live with. It's difficult living with someone who believes you have bad intentions. It's hard to love that person and enjoy being with them. 

Unsureofthis's picture

my own house that is occupied by me, DH and my 2 DDs. It's all mine and I will never ever give it up. I'm lucky that DH is very neat and tidy and doesn't have too much stuff lying around - he knows he is still very much living in my house and on my domestic terms but seems ok with it. I feel like I'm getting more territorial as I get older, or like my home is the only thing I have complete control over or something. I can completely relate to what you are feeling.

ITB2012's picture

Was how neat XH was until I met DH. My male relatives are mostly tidy guys except for a few cases. I did not realize that they weren't the rare exception. (Yet MILs house is neat as a pin and FIL is tidy too, so I'm not sure why DH didn't pick up those habits.)

ITB2012's picture

DH is almost back and the relative peace and cleanliness will be gone. I was in my clean tidy house for 6 years before DH. I have gotten a few weeks here and there over the past 8. That is hard on a neat and tidy person.