Fathers day and BM
I just need to rant because I have no one else to talk to. Every fathers day and every holiday BM and her 2 kids do something that is either the same as my gift, or just completely exclude my bio son. Its so frequent it has to be on purpose, and its hard not to feel her kids are behind it. We pick out gifts together so all kids can be included and BM always does something else to be either the same or do more. She sucks and I just want to say it. Having stepkids is really hard. I never thought it would be this tough. So now my husband is getting two of the same thing, again. Maybe I should stop trying to be so inclusive and disengage a little?
BTW, there is zero communication between BM and me. I tried to do right by everyone but it never works, and then BM pushes her way in and makes life hell so a few months ago I just stopped. How can anyone raise healthy kids if no one communicates!?
- Two Steps Back's blog
- Log in or register to post comments
Comments
Having stepkids/blending
Having stepkids/blending families is the hardest thing I ever tried to do. I just left my boyfriend and his 2 kids because the BM was unbearable and causing trouble. I have 2 of my own. How is your relationship with the stepkids?
Not good. It used to be but
Not good. It used to be but whenever they come back from BM's house they are cold towards me. I question my sanity weekly and often feel like a stranger in my own house. I feel like a bad step parent because I never know what is going on in their lives, and if I ask they barely say anything. They are teens and I feel like they know exactly what they are doing. I would never have thought it would be so hard. Going on 9 years of it.
Next year I think you should
Next year I think you should prepare a gift with your son and let BM handle the stepkids. That's the only way you won't get your gift repeated.
It's kind of funny that she's
It's kind of funny that she's so jealous and competitive, lol. I know it's frustrating though.
How old are the skids? If you genuinely feel that they are part of excluding their brother from experience gifts, then DH should talk with them about it, and perhaps not even use their gift if it was given in a mean-spirited way. If it's something that your son can be included in by paying extra or whatever, then he should be. If she gets the same thing that you get for them, then she's just wasted her money and her gift won't be used.
The other option, in addition to you buying only for your son and letting BM buy for the skids, is to not tell the skids what you are buying for DH on their behalf until they come over for the day, so that they can't tell BM. Make it fun - "It's a surprise for all of you!"
My skids never say a happy fathers day ever!! Just yesterday
Was fathers day in my husbands country, ss22 is living in his home rent free, he ignored hubby all day and didn’t even say a hello. Hubby was so upset he stayed in our master bedroom and sulked.
I always when we are together plan a homecooked dinner (something a little exotic or fancy) then its sexy time with hubby at night... its actually great when skids behave this way because it reminds hubby just how selfish self centred his 3 jackass kids are and can’t give a stuff about anyone!!
Since the skids seem to be
Since the skids seem to be sabotaging your gift by feeding info to BM, I would cut them out of the equation. You get a gift from you and your bio for your husband and let BM get something from the skids to their dad.