Just picked up blackout drunk SS!
DH and I had finished up at the car dealership- new Camry Hybrid- sooo pretty! We went to go pick up SS from the friends house and the mom met us on the front lawn. She is a police officer btw. She was sooo embarrassed and upset but SS15 had gotten into a bottle of Titos. Passed out puking on himself.
We had no hard feelings, teenagers are stupid, whatever, we took him home.
I start putting his clothes in the wash and found a vape pen and charger.
DH called BM to tell her. She wanted us to do nothing and she would ground him for a week when he got home, that was a no go. We are taking his phone for the foreseeable future.
Tomorrow is going to be tons of fun!
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Wow, if he's already managed
Wow, if he's already managed to get in trouble in less than 10 days with you, I can't imagine what he does at BM's house. How long will he be with you?
How was your "shocked face"??
I bet you had it down!! You called it JMTB.
My SS15 is up to the exact same, and worse right now. Taking the vape pen is probably going to cause the biggest issues for you - they really have no idea how addictive they are.
Hope the Camery still has the new car smell!!
Yikes. Expect BM to use this
Yikes. Expect BM to use this as a reason to refuse visits in the future. Does BM drink? Alcohol keeps being a factor in your situation.
and to think
that SS (aka BM) was displeased by YOUR adult beverage use.
Oh the irony.
That's why I'm wondering if
That's why I'm wondering if BM is the one who is actually drinking a lot and is projecting that onto OP and her DH. It's less common for 15-year-olds to get so drunk than it was when we were 15 and the drinking age was 18. And he got drunk by himself? I'd guess an adult in his life is a heavy drinker and modeling it for him.
He did say in a drunken
He did say in a drunken stuper that he drinks bud light at his moms house. She of course denied that when we told her that he may be "sneaking" it there as well.
Well, well... the little
Well, well... the little hypocrite got caught overdoing it with alcohol. Lol. Hope he has a wicked hangover today. Might be time to start vacuuming his room this morning lol
Vacuuming?
Vacuuming? I am thinking that the sauce pan needs a good beating with a metal cooking spoon! And the best place to do it is standing right next to SS's bed.
He is grounded from his phone
He is grounded from his phone here for a week since that is all we can really "take" from him. BM is taking his car for 2 weeks when he gets home.... she says at least.
He was up at 6 apologizing. We haven't gotten to the vape pen. I will update later! Lol
Not necessarily. No one
Not necessarily. No one drinks in my family, not our life style, don't even keep alcohol in the house yet at maybe 14 and 15 me and my brother got drunk mostly experimenting to see what it does. One time together with another boy and one time my brother got drunk at a party because he got into alcohol, no one else was drunk. Those are things I recall but there was probably more. Kids do stupid stuff. I don't think it matters if both households keep alcohol around like justmskingthebesr and BM or there's no alcohol around like my family, kids will try stuff.
Yes, but that was one time -
Yes, but that was one time - and I'm guessing this isn't the first time for him. Also, it appears from the story that SS found the alcohol and drank it by himself, not with his friend, which is another red flag.
I drank from age 15 on, I'm not saying it's bad. But IMO, this pattern of finding another family's alcohol and drinking to blackout by himself, is very concerning.
AND, couple that with the erroneous claim by SS that OP and her DH are drunks, points me to wondering how much BM drinks.
I partied in high school. The
I partied in high school. The ones who were drunk before the party started? The ones who would drink alone? They are all alcoholics in their 30s and 40s now...
Agreed. I had a friend who
Agreed. I had a friend who drank more and more often, drove drunk at 16, and went on to be alcoholic. Her father was an alcoholic, too.
Hair Test
You could have a hair test done to find out more about SS's drug habits.
Poor kid - not excusing him but with a BM like that, I can see wanting to vape/get high/drink to mellow out my headspace & relax from the ongoing tension. BM doesn't model healthy coping skills, blocks your SS from being with his dad and total PAS... goes to court, etc. That is a lot!
But you, JMTB, I worry you've entered a new phase of seeing that while your gut is 100% on-target, SS & BM (plus BM by proxy in absentia via her influence on SS) are still running their show. Maybe this is just triggering how much I went through with my SS(now20) with all his sneaking, lying, manipulating, getting busted with weed, vapes, lies & drug tests... so I worry for the next few years you're about to go through. In my case, I can look at my 2015 drivers license photo (The Look: Skeptical/You're Bullsh*tting Me/Wary) and recall that at the moment that photo was taken, I was wondering if SS's b.s. would be over by my next DMV photo. Five years later, I am 60 lbs heavier & my marriage forever changed, broken & struggling to regain footing. SS never stopped being a dedicated stoner and as loveable as he is, has already closed many Windows of Opportunity due to his habits... he's currently job-interviewing I'm wondering how he's gonna pass a drug-test. The whole experience was so difficult & painful for me to live with, and I didn't find ST or disengage soon enough. I lived in a constsnt state of hypervigilance listening for sneaking, lying SS & watching him manipulate, lie to, and use DH (which made me lose respect for DH).
I am proud of you for detaching & going to dinner. Glad you were at the ocean.
The lucky difference for OP
The lucky difference for OP is that her husband can parent, and it's unlikely SS will want to live with them as a result of that and BM's need to keep him with her.
What the hell?
What the hell?
BM is going to have a field
BM is going to have a field day with this one.
SEE XDH--I send MY son to your house, under YOUR watch. You pawn him off on neighbors so you can buy a different car???? It appears to be their MO, pawning kids off to everyone else. You couldn't wait until he left? Or buy it before he came? SS is only there for a short time and LOOK, He ends up drunk at age 15? You and your wife are terrible. Your Honor, this is why it was important for xdh and his wife to not have liquor around my son. THEY refuse to supervise a teenager. Pleassssse your honor this is awful, what will they do to him the next time he must go visit???? They are not responsible ...my POOR BOY.
I am surprised BM didnt file emergency order for the return of ss.
Its all about how bm spins it.
--------------------------
I felt sick reading about SS. ((((sorry))) this happened. He could have ended up in the ER or worse.
Yep.
Yep.
And I also won't be suprised if she files an ex parte order on Monday to have visitation stopped.
Ehhhh... we couldn't wait to
Ehhhh... we couldn't wait to buy a car, DH's car was totaled in an accident. Insurance has time-lines on these things. Also- remember, BM approved of this visit with these friends. He had stayed the night there with her blessing.
SS also said that BM's BF buys him budlight while he was trashed. So of thats how she wants to play, we can go there.
Also, the people he stole the liquor from were police officers. There were about 12 officers at this cookout. I feel like we would be safe from repercussions if 12 officers didn't see it until he was puking on a bathroom floor.
I posted this in
I posted this in another comment but it may get lost and I wanted to make sure that the OP saw it. This very well may be why BM was so insistent that you put the alcohol away when he visited. She said that he was "offended by it" because she did not want to tell you that she knew he had a problem brewing but was hoping that, if you hid it when he was around, that he would have no access to anything when he was with you.
she started with this when he
she started with this when he was 13, I really don't think that was the case. She concocted this story about how we go bar hopping had had SS drive us around.
Of course that never happened and when SS was questioned he couldn't give a single detail or date. I really in my heart believe that the judge went with the path of least resistance and put that in so that he could order the visitation and have his own butt covered. I dont think the jidge or GAL believed any of it.