Father's Day
I need advice. I texted and called SS15 but I am apparently blocked again. I was going to offer to get something for Father's day for him to give his dad since he is "supposed" to be here for the day.
1- Do I get something that I know DH wants for SS? It is a special order thing and I need to do it now if I get it.
2- Do I wait and see if SS wants to get something IF he actually shows up? Then take him shopping for what he wants to get him. If this is your choice- Do I wait to see if he asks me or do I ask him?
3- Do I say that since he wanted to block me again, guess he should call his mom and see if she will Amazon something if he doesn't want to look like a jackass on Father's day?
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2 - but don't ask him
2 - but don't ask him outright. Casually ask him if he remembered that Sunday was Father's Day and, depending on his response, take it from there.
That isn't a bad idea...
That isn't a bad idea...
Last year he didn't call DH and when DH finally talked to him he said it was too busy to talk to him he was celebrating with his mom's bf and grandpa....
None of the above
Say/offer nothing. Let the kid bring it up if he has the inclination.
yea... that will probably be
yea... that will probably be what I do
I'd usually let SS know it
I'd usually let SS know it was Father's Day and then tell him if he wanted my help to let him know.
In your case, definitely wait. He might not even be there.
That's what I am thinking, I
That's what I am thinking, I just dont want DH to be hurt.
He is already hurt. His kid
He is already hurt. His kid is a total ass. Any present from this kid and he is going to know where it is really coming from.
Once it became clear SS was
Once it became clear SS was going to be an ass to DH on Father's Day, I just tried to make it special for him - cards from the dogs, etc. I can't fix his relationship with his son.
He hasn't wished DH a happy Father's Day in 5 years. I'm sure this year will be no different.
That is so sad. At least my
That is so sad. At least my husband has my bios and SS20 that love and appreciate him.
Maybe I will get something from the dogs too LOL
Thankfully he thinks it's a
Thankfully he thinks it's a Hallmark Holiday. I think it bothers me more than it bothers him.
THIS!!
Don't let feral PASed out skids who should know better ruin FD.
Why are you playing games.
At 15 it's up to him to get something or ask for help. You are trying to make everything nice,nice. But this is not the case. You must just let the chips fall.
This is where I am leaning.
This is where I am leaning. IF he shows up, wait for him to ask and no reminder.
I don't get it.
I don't get it.
If you are blocked, why would you even bother? I think being blocked it's kind of a hint that you shouldn't worry about what he gets for his dad or he if asks his mom to buy something.
Why would you even want him to ask his mom to buy something for a dad if mom in constant litigation against dad and clearly can't care less? Do you really think mom would bother ordering gifts for dad under the circumstances?
Why would you do any of it! If (and it's a very big if) he arrives make sure he is comfortable and has enough food and necessities. Why do you worry if SS will look like an a$$ when he already looks like an a$$ on a daily basis because he refuses to talk to dad and maintain decency (obviously brainwashed by BM)
This is how I feel at this
This is how I feel at this point but at the same time I am still trying to be the bigger/better person and "do the right thing". I don't want to and it is not genuine. I really just want to dust may hands off and help the kids that WANT to do things for DH and let SS look and feel like an ass.
You can do the right thing
You can do the right thing and get your husband something from yourself and older SS and your bios. I don't think it's necessarily being bigger and better person trying to get SS or BM to get something for DH when SS isn't even speaking to you and barely acknowledges his dad and in addition blocked you. Sometimes giving people space makes you a bigger and better person even if it hurts. Let dad contact SS. I'd keep my distance at this point
also sadly you can't fix anything with gifts and other monetary stuff either giving and buying things for SS or making him to buy stuff for dad. Gifts mean nothing. It's superficial. I have and alwars had good relationship with DD yet this year there was no gift for mother day due to covid complications and issues with pandemics (long story) etc I didn't want her to buy me anything. It doesn't effect our relationship. SS buying or not buying gifts mean nothung
BM here used to send SS over
BM here used to send SS over with piddly gifts like a bag of candy. It was definitely an eff you from BM but SS never caught on.
OSD has not acknowledged
OSD has not acknowledged father's day, DH birthday or Xmas for three years. It still hurts DH, you can't stop that. But it reflects on OSD and BM. He knows that. You have to step back and give your DH support, not SS.
Thanks ladies. I am just
Thanks ladies. I am just going to help the other 3 kids. I won't tell SS no if he asks for my help but I won't offer it either.
My bios want to do a mini father's day/step father's day before they leave for their dad's, SS will be here for that so maybe he will be reminded and pull his head out of his butt and say something before actual father's day.
This is something that I just can't fix and there is no need to worry myself over it.
I wouldn't even bother. I'll
I wouldn't even bother. I'll get my DH a gift from our baby and I. SD can figure it out, not my problem.