Feral SS or normal teen Behavior
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SS was never great about Personal hygiene but as he's got older he's gotten worse. We have SS every other weekend from Friday after school till Sunday night at 8pm. DH MAYBE gets SS to brush his teeth ONCE during that time. SS refuses to shower or change his clothes so he goes back to BM's in the same Clothes he came over in on Friday. Oh he also refuses to wear PJs and sleeps in his clothes. SS has a WHOLE closet full of clothes that he could wear but never does.
Now that it's getting nice and most people are wearing shorts/short sleeves SS comes over in jeans and sweat shirts when it's 80!
Is this normal teen behavior?? Anyone else have this problem?
How old is he?
I don't know if he is feral or normal but I'd be inclined to let DH handle it. Who knows what's in his tiny mind? He will probably mature into one of those men who won't let his wife throw anything away and wear his old stuff all the time. Lol
In any case, if luring girls won't change him and his dad's input won't change him, i doubt that you'll be able to do much. Save your effort for bigger issues which, if he is a teen, will probably emerge. Good luck!
How old is he? Why are there
How old is he? Why are there no consequences for refusing to brush his teeth or bathe? My DH had to order SS into the shower regularly until he was 15 - and SS did it because he knew there would be trouble if he didn't.
SS is 13
Honestly DH has tried but it's such a struggle/fight to get this kid to do ANYTHING DH just gives up on these little things like daily teeth brushing or changing clothes. It would be world war 3 24/7 with no peace.
I wouldn't have dreamed of
I wouldn't have dreamed of monitoring how often my daughters brushed their teeth, when they were teenagers - the idea seems bizarre. They need to take responsibility if they get cavities. Similarly if they want to sweat it out in clothes that are too warm for the weather - then their decision.
The foul breath and body odor
The foul breath and body odor was why DH ordered SS to bathe and brush his teeth. What he wore? Who cares.
I would typically agree but
I would typically agree but it's really embarrassing to go somewhere with the SD12 here. she wears these spandex things every day that look like boys underwear and They are 3 sizes too small and pink.(I'm not talking about like black nike pro shorts that the girls wear I am talking like see thru justice spandex)... you can see every outline of her underwear and body parts.....and she wears a stained and filthy t shirt then puts on a pair of dressy heels...slaps on some red lipstick and bright organe eyeshadow.....and says she is ready.
It's like tacky tourist day during spirit week but worse.
That's different than wearing
That's different than wearing cold weather clothes when it's hot. That's just inappropriate.
SD12 and 17 here are the same
SD12 and 17 here are the same. My kids all shower and get dressed every day. SD12s teeth are the yellowest I've ever seen.
they also sleep until 3 pm daily which adds to the nastiness.
My ss12 will do anything to
My ss12 will do anything to not shower or brush his teeth. I used to enforce it everyday and he would lie to his dad when my husband asked him if he showered or brushed his teeth. But since I've completely disengaged a few weeks ago, I no longer enforce these hygiene behaviors and let dad deal with it. Social embarrassment should encourage the child to take care of that on his own. If I know he didn't shower for three days straight or brush his teeth and he lied to his dad about it, I asked him if he's aware of the last time he did those things bc he is starting to smell. I also teach teenage boys and some of them wear the same sweatshirt every day. And I know they have plenty of clothes.
My SO is starting to make the
My SO is starting to make the skids pay for the co pay on their cavaities. They don't want to brush their teeth. Their problem now. They are 16,15,13. Old end ought to know to brush their teeth! My SS 15 has good personal hygiene, SS16 horrible, (he just went back to work so it will be a little better) SD13 not so much either. I'm obsessed with hygiene. I would always hound SD to be cleaner. Shower daily, brush teeth etc. She would get moody if I started getting on her about it. About a month ago SO said I was attacking her. (I wasn't) So I said ok, i will never ask her to shower again. I said also, when she gets her period I hope you make her shower everyday!! The skids are with us full time for over two years now and i was just trying to get her to understand hygiene better. I'm that female figure for her. All the skids shower before school every morning though. With covid and summer. Not so much.
Oh yes the old 'mean SM'
Oh yes the old 'mean SM' comment when all you are doing is trying to help.
OSD would get into yelling matches over brushing her teeth and showering, basically any hygiene tasks. BM and DH never taught them anything! It was do wierd. They didn't brush teeth, didn't know how to shampoo or use a washcloth. Ages 8 and 10. I was floored and tried...as new SMs do, but then eventually disengaged from all of it. If skids smelled I just refused to participate with them. Yellow teeth, smell, greasy skin and hair, dirty clothes. DH doesn't want me involved so there you go.
Yep!! I tried for years to
Yep!! I tried for years to get her to wash her hair right. I gave up. Some days it's like oh I used conditioner thinking it was shampoo. I blow dry her hair every morning for school so I be like uhhhh you have product still in your hair............I don't make any comments now. Not worth it.
Jeans and t shirts are all
Jeans and t shirts are all weather wear. But, zero hygiene is just gross. Time for public humiliation time for that crap. Call him on it publicly. Eventually he will catch a clue.
You better hope this nasty kid's teeth don't rot out of his head until after he is 18 or other wise aged out from under the CO.
Dental care isn't cheap.
SS teeth are already full of Cavities
Of course BM the great Manipulator has got the dentist to SOMEHOW side with her that it's not poor SS fault. According to the dentist SS has soft teeth or some other BS that makes him prone to cavities. Guess the fact SS is 13 and NEVER flossed his teeth, eats tons of candy and goes days without brushing has NOTHING to do with his rotten teeth. BM even had the dentist Professionally whitened his teeth as they were yellow. Again not poor baby's fault. The kid has more fillings from cavities than DH and I do put together! I don't even want to think of the thousands DH has paid for repairing SS teeth