Wanting to cry
I just called a friend from highschool, with the same GF since 17 years old and a daughter of 6 years old, the same that are always arguing in an horrible way and when I exposed the problems in my relationship he said "You better grab him, he´s one of those guys than can give you a life" (because being single with no children is not having a life).
He said to me that they will try to have a second baby and that´s how life is, it´s natural course. And concerning my break up he said nothing but the silence was everything! My ExBF is such a noble guy taking so much good care of his daughter and I´m the villan of course and I´ll just stay alone forever or with guys that treat me bad because I don´t value good guys that want to settle and value family like my ex (he said this in the past)
Now honestly I wanna cry and never speak with them again.....THIS was the feeling of being a bad person/making bad choices/not valuing the right things in life/sadness I ALWAYS felt during a point in my relationship. EXACT THIS FEELING. And it´s horrible horrible and the judgement coming from people that know nothing of being a step-parent is the worst in the world!
This guy is your friend, why?
This guy is your friend, why? He couldn't even summon the slightest bit of empathy for you in a time of need. That's my definition of an enemy. Your instinct to not speak to him again is right, listen to it.
as a matter of fact, you'll
as a matter of fact, you'll find the best possible partner when you consider yourself to be 100% and not some half looking for another half to make a whole.
Absolutely this ^^^^^
I found my DH at a time when I was single and loving it. Of course, we all want that "one" but I believe we have to be happy being with ourselves, first.
Nobody else can tell you what makes your life "whole" and it's not the same for everybody. I have never wanted kids, even though many people think that I should have. What's it to them? I don't feel a bit like I've missed out on something. In fact, I feel like I've been better off (in several ways) than a lot of people that have had kids! I stayed true to myself by NOT having kids and I'm glad that I didn't let society dictate otherwise.
YOU get to set your terms and decide what YOU want, what YOU value, in a partner and in life.
My DH values family. Me, I'm his family.
Leaving a relationship that was making you feel awful was not a bad choice.
Hang in there.
It's like everyone is trying
It's like everyone is trying to convince themselves that your ex was this great guy. Sounds like he was "good on paper", so you and others feel like you should have been happy with him. But the thing is, you weren't. Being with him made you miserable, just read your blog history. He wasn't and isn't so great.
Your "friend" is full of shit
Your "friend" is full of shit. He fights constantly with his long time GF and is obviously miserable, they both are, and think that breeding another kid is the natural order of things. There is nothing either natural nor healthy about bringing another kid into a volatile tense and fighting filled failing adult relationship.
So, write that idiot off and don't let him or anyone else tell you that there is something wrong not settling and seeking happiness in your life is unatural while fighting constantly with a partner and breeding that same partner to bring another kid into that nightmare is something noble and "natural".
Have some confidence. Enjoy your life.
Like you, I have no BioKids though I am fortunate to have an amazing wife and Skid who asked me to adopt him. There is nothing that makes the lives of people who don't have children of their own less than the lives of people who do. So don't let your idiot hopefully former friend convince you otherwise.
Again.....thanks guys
Thank you for all the answers...I think this all sums up to me and me working on myself and why I put up with so many things that I don´t like.....that clearly didn´t came only from ExBF DisneyDad....some of my "friends" are included!