I can't do this forever
I am really wondering how much longer this will last. I can't stand the sight of my SS. His bio mom has passed away but from day one and until she died she gave me and my husband pure hell. One example: She tried to bring my husband up for a child support increase when she got pregnant with her second one night stand baby, which was a different man's child! I thought when she passed things would get easier but the combination of a simp husband and an overbearing MIL has begun to push me over the edge.My husband's mother has always competed with me in regards to my husband but now since my SS's bio mom has passed, she has turned her competitiveness towards my relationship with him. She has always had boundry issues with my husband and SS, for example, bathing my SS until he was 10, sleeping in bed with him til he was 11 and sharing her toothbrush with him when he visits. And as for my husband, she has always behaved in a very jealous way towards our relationship. One example is my husband could not kiss me or touch me in her presence because if he did she would immediately demand a kiss on the lips or hug after i got one. I started to feel uncomfortable when my husband gave me affection in front of her because i worried how it would make her feel. Now my SS is 13 and he spends every single weekend, holidays and full summer with his grandma. He even cries when i tell him it's time to come home. I honestly don't mind because i spent so many years trying to be fun and creative with my SS in the time i had with him and trying to be the perfect balance of mom/not mom with him but i think the years of brainwashing his mother did and the innapropriate relationship with his grandma has made it impossible to really emotionally bond with him. And my husband couldn't be more distant from it all. He never learned how to be a dad no matter how much i've begged him to, and he sees nothing wrong with his mother's lack of boundries. I just can't do this forever. And to make matters worse, my SS has picked up a new habit of wanting to hug me all the time. Not organic, in the moment hugs, but coming from behind me and hugging me in a strange stiff way or quickly walking to me and almost leaning on me in a very odd way. Very weird!! He never used to even hug back when he was younger and he never ever hugs his own father!! I'm just getting to the point where i cringe at the sight of him. I feel hopeless...
When I was in my late teens
When I was in my late teens my mom and I went to a market in the ME. A younger teen Arab kid kept rubbing against my mom and then would dart off through the croud. On the third cycle of getting pervy with my mom I knocked his ass out cold, grabbed my mom's arm, jumbed in a cab and headed back to our camp. It was a dangerous thing I did but I would not tolerate that little boner weilding POS touching my mother.
If this is a grinding sexual thing.... it needs to be dealt with. DH needs to smack the shit out of his pervy spawn. Time to knock this little pervy POS out cold if daddy won't address it then press charges. If that is the case.
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I need to stop it soon
I definitely need to put an end to it soon because i'm at the point now where i cringe when i see him coming to touch me. It got even weirder when i caught him pleasuring himself in his room and now i wonder even more about his motives. It's just not normal behavior for him as he is very quiet and extremly akward and unaffectionate. I feel like i will be judged if i ask him to please not "hug" me, because i am his stepmother afterall. But i feel almost violated in the strange way that he does it. One more thing to add to the evil stepmother list.
You are not related to him,
You are not related to him, there is nothing wrong with not wanting him to hug you, especially the way he is doing it. Coming at you from behind and leaning on you is not appropriate.
Stand up for yourself and do NOT allow yourself to be violated. Nobody has the right to judge you for not wanting to be molested by your teenage step son.
Hell, no, I wouldn't stay. I
Hell, no, I wouldn't stay. I'd leave that snake pit fort wit! Your SS is seriously mentally screwed up and is acting out on you. Until you Leave, tell him that you're uncomfortable with him hugging you and that prefer he not do it. Period. Your personal space is yours! And I agree with someone above that you should tell him at least in front of his dad! For that matter, do it in front of the perverted grandmother! She's just as mentally screwed up. Hell, I'm going to go so far as to say that incest runs in the family. Your husband wasn't left out, either. Start making plans to escape as soon as this whole C19 thing settles down. You can do it! Best.
I hate to admit it
But i think you're absolutely right. The thought has crossed my mind a thousand times when i watch the way she practically gropes my husband and the way my stepson acts when he's told he needs to take a breather from visiting with her. The way she acted the very first time my husband brought me to meet her was strange as well. We showed up to a family friends home where she was waiting to meet me. She got drunk and acted like she was having a mini nervous breakdown and the friends and family kept joking about how is she going to cope with losing her son to "the other woman"..Very strange behavior. I have never seen anything like that in my family so i wasn't sure what to think. My husband is an very quiet and shy person and i know he would never open up to me about anything like that, no matter how close i think we are.