<p>Is disengaging like dropping the rope or do I just let my SO parent his child FULLY??</p><p>We have a 1 year old and he has a 3 year old from a previous relationship. Does having a bio child in the house change how you disengage?</p><p>Over the course of our relationship we&#39;ve had to deal with a HCBM that makes it extremely hard for him to coparent and causes issues with us/our relationship.</p><p>How can I disengage without making it look like I favor my own child?&nbsp;EX. I&#39;m big on birthdays, they are huge to me no matter what age. For my sons 1st bday we took a trip to Disney. For SS bday, we&#39;re planning on taking a trip as well but that&#39;s on hold due to COVID-19. So now we(I-I&#39;m the planner of the family, more organized) have planned a backyard party, just us for SS. None of the plans are final/paid for, do I just leave&nbsp;SO to plan and pay for it with no involvement from me? &nbsp;SO is not a planner at all and it&#39;ll likely end up being last minute cupcakes, but when my sons birthday rolls around...do you get where this is going? (SO will not consider another joint bday party with BM).<br />Do I still wash his clothes, help with getting ready, meals or does my SO do it all for SS?</p><p>I&#39;m new to this but I definitely feel like disengaging would help with the stress of our particular situation a lot, I&#39;m just not sure how to go about it.</p>