Reasons that SS13 is Tired all the time

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DH has shared Custody with BM since SS13 was 3 yrs old. The last 2 plus yrs SS13 seems to be tired a lot. SS will even tell you he’s tired. He will spend HOURS sitting on the couch playing video games on his phone. He will even ask us to get him a drink/snack and when we say no SS will just go without rather then get it himself most of the time. Yes we try and Encourage playing outside and most of the time SS will have some excuse...to hot, to cold, to tired. We have to Practically drag him out of the house to do things. SS most nights has problems failing asleep. Last night he told us he looked at his clock and it was 230am and he was still awake. His phone is NOT in his bedroom so no he’s not on it keeping him up.

SS gets a Physical every year so physically there is nothing wrong with him.

I know it’s “the age” but 80 percent of SS time is either watching tv or playing video games. No interest in hobbies or sports.

Sounds like you know the

Sounds like you know the answer.

This is a great time of year to teach him to cut the grass. To go on an evening walk. To go on a family bike ride.

You will have to MAKE him do it. He has been allowed to be a lazy blob for so long that it goes against his very nature to move. MAKE him do it. Take his phone, Turn off the TV.

I had to do this with my SS20 (special needs). He needs to exercise. We go walk every night for 30 minutes. It is the worst 30 minutes of my day. He drones on and on and on about shit that I don't care about. I go "uh huh" every so often and just zone out.

It's likely a combination of

It's likely a combination of a lot of things: lack of physical activity, age/puberty, and perhaps insomnia or depression.

Force him to do physical activity, even if it's just chores. Grass cutting, car washing, weed pulling, vacuuming, etc. Those are skills he needs to learn anyway.

Being a young teen, puberty is a b**ch. OSS definitely slept a lot when he was 12-14. YSS was less sleepy and more grouchy, but has definitely had issues falling asleep. Those issues peaked when he was 11-12. They have finally started subsiding, but he went through puberty on the earlier end of the spectrum.

Don't discount that it could be something physical, even if his annual physical turns up nothing. Are his parents telling his doctor about the sleep issues? Has he done a sleep study? Been offered melatonin or any other options to aid with sleep minus taking away the screen? If not, then physical issues cannot be ruled out.

Also, depression can cause fatigue. Don't rule out depression because SS doesn't have anything to be sad about. It's possible that he's depressed and doesn't realize it. When I suffer, it's not until I've been dealing with it for weeks that I notice how tired, how unenthused, how disconnected I've been. Now, that doesn't mean he immediately needs to see a therapist or get put on meds, but it does mean that his parents need to mention it to his doctor and start doing some things with him to address it, like exercising and a better diet.

His laziness is probably part of the problem, but he's still a kid. He only knows it's a problem if someone tells him it's a problem and forces him to make changes so that it's not a problem. That falls directly on his parents to address, and that means THEY have to stop being lazy, too.

My OSD complained about being

My OSD complained about being tired all the time. I explained to DH....she eats like a 5 yo and doesn't get nearly close to a balanced diet; she does not exercise, even walking a block tires her; she does nothing literally the whole weekend but stay in bed with her computer and phone in her pjs; she stays up past midnight on her devices. Until those issues are addressed you don't know what's going on.

And OP cannot fix this. It will cause resentment with skid and her. Only her SO can do anything. IF the SO doesn't, stop with help. I tried, it backfired and I was done.