Can you just tell SS...

No. No, I cannot and will not. You made this mess, you deal with it.

As a lot of you probably know, DH is a lovely man. Not so great of a father. SS17 has little rules, no expectations...and he is living up to that beautifully. If he does a poor job, half a job, barely a job at all...DH will always stick up for poor little COD, autistic, mommy doesn't care about me little poopsie.

Ok, DH. Have fun with that. I have officially washed me hands of it. Kind of amusing but I am practicing on biting my tongue and looking the other way. A few things that have happened so far:

- Last Tuesday - he asked SS to clear out the weeds in the front. All the little ones growing up against the house, cracks of the driveway and the little flower garden. Tuesday he didn't do any of it. Wednesday he did about 20% of it. Thursday he did another 15% of it, all told. DH: Can you remind SS today (Friday) to finish out front? Me: No, I won't. You tell him, you parent him and give him expectations and rules. When push comes to shove, you stick up for him and throw me under the parenting bus. I am no longer getting involved."

- Friday, Saturday and Yesterday - he keeps telling SS17 that he must do his laundry. Still not done on this lovely Monday morning. DH: "Will you remind SS that I want him to do his laundry?" Me: "Nope. You tell him, you parent him. You deal with this problem you've created."

Lets see how long this goes on. My bet so far is DH won't get too upset. Yet.

Just kicking back, popping the popcorn and watching the show I should've stepped back from years ago.

Cooooookies's blog
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LOL - yes!

DH: Can you let SD know dinner is ready?

ME: No, you can do it easily, plus she knows we're cooking.

DH: Did you know SD doesn't have any kind of "xxxx" socks? (or fill that in with any kind of basic clothing that he or BM never buy anyway).

ME: No, I don't watch her clothing types. That's a parent thing.

SS17 just ran out of shampoo.

SS17 just ran out of shampoo. Been through this a thousand times. SS won't say anything, DH won't notice and SS will start using body wash as shampoo. That results in very disgusting, greasy hair. Plus his hair will rapidly get longer since no one is open right now.

Guess who won't be saying anything?

Biting tongue, biting tongue, biting tongue.

NOTHING - say NOTHING! I don

NOTHING - say NOTHING! I don't monitor what YSD has, in fact, I hardly ever, ever go into that bathroom. I do know I refused to buy her "special soap" because BM said so - which is completely ridiculous as the soap we provide is also hypoallergenic just a different brand. Now there's magically BM's brand in the bathroom. I think YSD brought it with her. NOT MY ISSUE. BM can buy all the soap she wants for our home.

If SD runs out of shampoo or conditioner, she knows she needs to say something before her bottle is empty. Esp. now that we are not making more than one trip a week. too bad, so sad. If DH wants to give her his (which she hates) then fine, but do NOT touch my stuff.

I let those two figure out how to do basic living things and stay out of it.

(I also think it's funny YSD only uses this one kind of soap for her hands, but in the shower it doesn't seem to matter. Maybe she has 'select allergenic' skin? Whatever.)

Hiding your shampoo, hiding

Hiding your shampoo, hiding your shampoo...

Already done. It's like you

Already done. It's like you read my mind

It took my DH about a couple

It took my DH about a couple of months before he went into full melt down after I disengaged. It was easier for him to just ship her off to her maternal grandmothers rather than change his parenting habits. He tried hard to force me into re-engaging (does anybody remember he made Spawn parade around Walmart in a bikini to find me to see if it was appropriate, and I refused to look at her or give either of them an answer!)

I wouldn't expect your DH to do much more though, eventually it will just be easier for him to ignore it all and your SS will devolve into a sloth with long straggly nappy hair, unwashed body and unbrushed teeth, hell the kid might never again emerge from his room and your DH won't notice or care.

Im not trying to be negative Nancy, okay I kind of am, but usually men who are this oblivious never change, they just assume the kid will figure it out and pretend it's no longer an issue.

THIS is why you shouldn't let a child have so much screen time DH...

I said nothing.