How to be alone
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Half of my life I been relationship with my kids father for 15 years , it’s been 2 years we separated , I’m dating this guy for a year now , his lifestyle it’s not my cup of tea, his friends are bad influence , other thing they always talk about female , around my bf and they drink a lot , I feel like this is lifestyle and he wont never change , since he has teenager and I have three daughters , he talk about how he want to be family but yet continue how his living his lifestyle , their time I wanna just get up and leave but I’m afraid to be alone
my Biggest fear is being lonely and alone
Welcome to the site!
It sounds like you know, in your heart, that you and this man are incompatible. He "wants to be a family" but he is not prepared to put in even a small effort in order to make this feel OK to you. This should tell you that it is just words, he doesn't really want to make a family with you. I would leave him to his party lifestyle and face your fears of being alone. Who knows - in time you might meet someone better suited to you and the way you'd like to live.
"talk about how he want to be
"talk about how he want to be family"
Translation: He wants you to play mummy and take care of hm and his son. That, my friend, is a price way to high to pay for not being alone. 'Tis better to be alone than in bad company ... What kid of a example do you think he'd set for your daughters? What other benefits are there other than simply not being alone?
Read your post again and htink about what you wrote. Basically, you said that your bf is a drunken misogynist who has never grown up. That doesn't sound like a desirable commodity to me - why would you want to lower yourself to his level? Raise your standards! Do you really want an individual of his sort around your daughters?
Overcoming that fear of being
Overcoming that fear of being alone is the best gift you can give yourself.
It's worse to be lonely with
It's worse to be lonely with someone than to be alone. At least being alone means you can find other ways to not be lonely. But when you're tied down to someone who is supposed to be your support and they aren't available emotionally or physically? That sucks way, way worse.
Change your thinking. Being alone gives you freedom to choose who you surround yourself with. You get to choose your friends and a new partner. You can rotate out partners until you find the right one. You can try new activities. You can read that book you always wanted to read. You can watch those movies you always wanted to watch. You can join that club you always wanted to join.
Being "alone" isn't the same thing as being "lonely". I'd much rather be "alone" and free to choose what I want out of life than be "lonely" with a mate. Been there before, and the isolation that brings hurts worse than the fear of being alone.
Alone is not so bad. And it
Alone is not so bad. And it for sure beats being with the wrong partner.
Fear
Fear of being alone can be debilitating. I stayed in a marriage instead of going to a therapist and finding out why I was so afraid to be alone. Also to address such a feeling of failure after divorce. Don't be like me . Make an appointment with a GOOD therapist and get it all straightened out before committing yourself to anyone.