I always come second to the BM
My husband and I have been married for 5-1/2 years. He shares an 18 yo daughter with his ex. His ex cheated on him several times then finally left him. I came into the picture a few years after their divorce. The second I came into the picture, she decided she wanted him back, even though she had a live-in boyfriend. I'm not dumb enough to think she really wants him back. Her only motive is to get at me. She told me from the beginning that she came first and I will ALWAYS come second because she is his child's mother! I told my husband from the beginning that I have no problem with them co-parenting, but it never stops there. She blew up his phone on our wedding night!!! She texts him about car troubles, she calls him asking for directions to certain places, she wants him to take care of her dogs when she goes away for the weekends, she asks him to go deposit her child support checks into her bank account so she doesn't have to, the list goes on and on. And whenever I complain, or if he has the nerve to actually tell her no, I get her wrath and she calls me all kinds of names, tells him how unstable and insecure I am, tells him he needs to leave me, etc. And he NEVER stands up for me. Just a few months ago, he had to put his cat down and he snuck her into MY house so she could say "goodbye" to the damn cat. A cat she hadn't seen in five years! Then he lied to me about it. It was an accident that I even found out he snuck her into my house. I can't even possibly list all of the things she has pulled. Every chance she gets, she says horrible things about me to my husband and he allows it. I'm about ready to call it quits. Obviously, neither of them respect me and I always come last! HELP!
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All I can say is that I would have called it quits
Over the cat incident. Absolutely .you have ensured too much. You deserve to be someone so number one and dream girl and not be the consolation prize to an idiot . I would divorce him absolutely
All I can say is that I would have called it quits
Over the cat incident. Absolutely .you have ensured too much. You deserve to be someone so number one and dream girl and not be the consolation prize to an idiot . I would divorce him absolutely
Your DH is the problem,
Your DH is the problem, sounds like HE is not really over his ex and should not be married until he is. Sorry but unless he can set up healthy boundaries with his ex, this will continue to happen.
Thank you!
Thank you all for your comments. Sometimes you just need to hear it from other people, even though I already know what I should do. My husband and his ex make me feel like I'm losing my mind and that I'm the crazy one. She baits me and baits me, and then when I explode, she's tells my husband "see how unstable she is?". And his comment to me is always "I don't know why you let her get to you, just let it go, that's how she is, blah blah blah" He has NEVER once told her off and stood up for me.
Your DH needs to look up the
Your DH needs to look up the word BOUNDARIES. This is crazy. And if BM is contacting you directly, shut that down immediately.
Toxic Troll BM is the same way
We are 5.5 years together, married 1.5 years.
Toxic Troll crashed my MIL's vigil and insisted on staying and got in the way, and she hasnt seen MIL in over 5 years, and MiL had dementia. SIl had to grow the balls to tell her do NOT attend the family vigil for her mother, because TT told SD13 "she didnt care what DH wanted she was GOING".
TT is always asking DH for favors and he tells her "No, because it is detrimental to his marriage and surely she can understand"...and the she will go off on him and tell him he is pathetic and p-whipped by me. I hate that he throws me under the bus like that and cannot just tell her 'n.o.' So I get where you are coming from. It sucks that you feel you are always last. Luckily I dont feel like that, or I would definitely consider leaving.
Sneaking her in YOUR house? WOw. That is a major boundary/trust violation. What else has he kept from you? Lies are like cockroaches, there is never JUST ONE.
How long do you want to be the Marriage Police? Is this what you want for your life?