I have many answers to this question...

1- I think there is greater willingness to have COD in therapy than in the population generally, which leads to greater diagnosis of mental health and attention issues.

2-Some of that greater willingness comes from a desire to make another parent look bad.

3-I think that we see a lot of parents of COD who would rather be friends with their children than provide the kind of structure, accountability, and routine that are needed for children.  (Which does not require a CP and NCP, in my book, just good parenting).

4-I think that our society, in general, has moved away from providing children with structure, accountability and routine, even in non-divorced homes.  The willingness to blame others and snowplow for children is terrible and will literally lead to the end of the world, in my mind.  Sometimes kids really should be allowed to be kids and for that to be OK.

5-Along that same line--and linked to points 1 and 2--is that mental health care/issues do not carry the same stigma that they once did, and ADHD makes a convenient reason that kids behave like kids.

I'm sure I have other explanations, but that's my high points on a Monday morning.

Parents would often rather have a acronym that is wrong with their kid because then they can tell themselves that it isn't their fault. The kid has ADHD the kid has ODD etc... It's not bad parenting, it's a disorder.

Though a lot of the time it is bad parenting,p parenting or emotional neglect.

1. Sometimes I think that we are overly trying to pin diagnosis on people, like putting a name on something makes it official. Almost like if you are looking for something, you are sure to find it. I have a friend who is convinced she has MS. Has been to multiple doctors and gone to the ER multiple times each year. She is super good at convincing herself that there is something wrong with her. They cant find anything, currently.

2. I think that The Toxicness of the relationship and people carries down to the children. How can they thrive and grow correctly, in healthy ways when the parents and their relationship is so toxic.

3. Bad parenting.

When DS was little (like four/five) the preschool teachers wanted me to get him tested for ADHD. I talked with XH, at that time we were separated, and we agreed not to. It was too early and we knew things were getting worked through with our split.We also worked hard to make things normal and easy. Plus those teachers never mentioned it again. We agreed that if the kindergarten teacher the next year saw something, we'd address it then. The teacher said nothing, we even asked, she said he was fine.

When BM and DH were going through their split (and theirs was very contentious, with yelling in their driveway apparently), BM took OSS to get diagnosed with ADHD. After DH and I got married there was another bout of tension, don't remember about what, but BM and DH were fighting. OSS got weird. Like hyper-happy, and bouncing around and goofy. I think he was reacting to the tension though he didn't recognize it (and neither did they). When the thing blew over he went back to his normal self. (Though he remained on ADHD meds through the whole thing and into HS...and he was on it when he got goofy...and a teacher noticed too at at time and wanted OSS on stronger meds...thank goodness DH won against that one.)

I don't think people realize how impactful tension between parents is on a kid. I think some of these kids do not have ADHD but are just dealing with big things. (NOT that they should be coddled, but that it should be recognized that kids pick up on things and go through their own mourning and coping with the change.)

In my case BM wanted SD to have ADHD to blame her poor grades on instead of the fact that BM wasn't making her do her school work or had her in to many activities that didn't leave her with enough time to do school work and SD is lazy.  BM spent money on a super expensive "specialist" only to find out that SD did not have ADHD or learning disabilities and then BM was upset she spent the money on it, lol!

BM will blame SD's per performance or poor behavior on anything other than what it seems to be for SD - POOR PARENTING!  

I think for the most part it is just bullshit excuses for shitty parents to justify the intolerable behavior of their feral children.  And so that the Xs can blame each other for the shit they created as spawn and continue to facilitate as crappy parents.

Not in all cases of course, but in the majority of cases.

The syndrom of the month is what keeps the pseudo science "professionals" employed and they prey and feed on divorce's and the COD population.  There is no money in giving a parent clarity that "there is nothing wrong with your kid other than your shitty parenting and their generally being an intolerable ill behaved little shit."

IMHO of course.