SD Brings Out the Worst in Me
I ask myself why she makes me this way. Here's a short summary of recent history:
Mom kicked her out for doing drugs, alchol and a litany of other drugs. After refusing to allow her to visit her dad as ordered by court 10 years ago.
I had to quit my job to be home to make sure she wasn't doing drugs etc.....
She's a high school senior that complete 6 hours of high school in 3 years. My husband is literally doing her schoolwork online for her so she will graduate. She has zero interest.
She lies about everything everything.
Blames everyone else for her situation.
Only cares about partying and doing drugs.
She's disrespectful to anyone who tries to set rules or discipline her.
This morning her dad ask her to clean her room and she pouted and whined .... then I said if you don't clean it I will and then she went berserk. Telling me I had no right in her room etc it was all her stuff etc. So I called the cops.... and low and behold her friend shows up after they leave and tells her dad they smoked pot and had alcohol last night.
So why does she bring out the worst in me??????
It would be a cold day in
It would be a cold day in hell before I would quit my job and become dependent on a man just so I could babysit his high school aged brat.
Yep
I was afraid she would harm the dog or burn down the house. She is that evil.
This describes my SD17 to a T
This describes my SD17 to a T!!
She would bring out the worst in me, but in reality, she brought out the soldier in me. I was defending my home from this girl and eventually I won; she no longer lives with us.
I experienced all of it. Lying, stealing, manipulating, hard drugs, ditching school... you name it. This child had 0 disregard for authority and respected no one. Her BM wasn't in the picture and hadn't been since she was two. It was up to me and DH to set the boundaries and as a result, my home became a battlefield.
My only regret was not getting the police involved more. My SD was off the handles and needed much more help than DH or I could give her. She needed authority and strict boundaries. Military school would've been great if we'd been able to afford it.
If your SD is drinking and smoking weed, I'd say she needs to be held accountable for breaking the law. I would not hold back from informing law enforcement of her behavior (even though they won't always do anything about it).
In the case of my SD, I can tell you that the problem was that she never experienced true consequences for her actions. My DH raised her as a single dad (prior to me) and struggled to give her consistent boundaries and discipline. He'd tell her she was grounded for a week, but a couple days later he'd forget and she'd be off the hook.
She needed repercussions for her poor decisions, but never got them. Now she's living on her own at 17 and recently chose to get pregnant. (Lord help me!) This is where I urge you to get law enforcement involved whenever needed and have your DH crack down on everything. You don't need to put up with this. BM can take her back! She's the one who's legally obligated to care for her daughter and deal with her craziness. It's definitely not up to you to sacrifice your job and your sanity for this child.
Shew
There's so much more.......it's ridiculous. And now she's plotting to live with the boyfriend that she said she doesn't give a F ---- about. Her plane leaves at 635 to go back to her mom. He's over it as well after this stunt trying to stay with his family.... whom she's been lying to as well about everything. She cannot attend school because s she is not able to interact listen to teachers or anyone in an authority position.
She will be 18 in 40 days..... amen.
OP, your husband is enabling
OP, your husband is enabling his D's behavior, out of fear, or because he thinks he finally gets a chance to parent her, since BM kept her away.
This isn't the way to do it - he's doing her homework for her?!
Is she 18 yet? At 18, this one needs the boot. I'm not big on advocating that, but this is a toxic adolescent who is going to drag both of you down and ruin your lives. Either she gets involved with school/work, or out she goes.
Agree
She will be 18 in 40 days. Everyone has told her dad about enabling .... he's just obsessed with her finishing HS. Which translates to him getting his 2and HS diploma.
She needs lots of help in general. She's been using drugs since 13 years old...... only gotten worse.
Sad
I feel so bad for you! I can understand that DH wants her to graduate from HS but unless she wants to change her life around, it wouldn't really matter if she graduated or not. Drugs turn people into selfish monsters. They don't care who they hurt in quest for a high. Is there any way DH would agree to her getting a GED now? June is still 3 months away. Believe me - I HAVE lived this and can't imagine going through it again. Take care of you the best you can.
Found Dank Cartridges
That's an illicit, illegal drug that contains THC and who knows what else. She is a monster and getting worse.
She has 3 classes
Her cousin doing one, he's doing other 2.
MAKES me livid don't get me started about this HS online crap!
Brady bunch dream.
Having to put up with all that would be bring out the worse in anyone. Your frustrated you just want a normal peaceful life. Live the Brady bunch dream. BUT You end up with some drugo delinquents step kid and there not much you can really do about it. This is where the anger and resentment comes in. You sit there think what did I sign up for none of this was in the contract. Find yourself being the evil stepmother. Because you don't agree with the way someone else has raised there kids. YET your stuck in the middle of it you dont really want to be.
Well it sounds like you are now off the hook?
Shes leaving, from reading your commentss. Thats good, because her illegal activities could get you into a HUGE amount of legal trouble.
My VERY difficult, mean, prone to rages when asked/told to clean her room SDnow20, when she was a few weeks shy of 18, was caught shoplifting. No repercussions. She had money in her wallet so she was fined not charged.
Went away for a bit. Came back and lived with her mother for over 1 year. Stole checks from BM and cashed them, stole credit cards and money. Trashed the apartment - shes a total pig and loves wallowing in her own muck. BM baker-acted her to get her "help" ie get rid of her because she refused to leave.
See the trend? It did not get better, it got worse as BM enabled her. Your DH is enabling her. SD20 Feral Forger was also a "boomerang kid", and when things were difficult at one place, she would hitail it to the other, and her parents allowed it.
If SD is leaving, dont let her come back.
Never
Ever coming back here!
Why would you say applying
Why would you say applying consequences on this toxic POS kid is her bringing out the worst in you?
That sounds like exactly what she needs. A foot firmly up her ass. I would boot her ass out for drugs just as her BM did.
End of her polluting your life. Daddy is the problem by the way. He facilitates her crap. You may want to consider booting him too.