BF Says His S16 is Fragile?!?!
So I just have to vent and maybe ask for opinions...
So I've been dating my bf for 6 years. I despise calling him boyfriend at our age (mid-40s), but that's all we are. Not engaged and not living together. He has 2 kids (D21 and S16) from a previous marriage. The daughter is off at college and will be married in June. The boy lives with him as of last summer. The ex wife and him have been fighting in court on who gets the boy for 3 years. My bf wants him so he doesn't have to pay CS and the ex wife wants him so she gets CS. Both think they are doing what is in the boy's best interest. Both of the kids are entitled and completely spoiled beyond belief. The ex wife has always bought them whatever they wanted; like a $700 pair of Yeezy shoes a few years ago. She's not rich, but her parents are. My bf makes decent money, but is a tightwad unless it's something he wants.
Upon receiving temporary custody of the boy last summer, my bf 'made a deal' with his son to buy him a car, but he had to get a job and help pay for gas/insurance; to which the boy readily agreed. So he purchased an older SUV for his son and went as far as to reach out to a few friends that are in management posititions at local businesses to get his son a job. HA! Fast forward to now and the boy is driving his mom's newer SUV (while she lives on the other side of the state) and my boyfriend is still making payments on the SUV he bought his son to drive; which sits in the carport unless my boyfriend drives it. And the boy is still unemployed. He can hold a couch down and eat ice cream while watching TV and playing on his phone with ease though. That's a plus, right???
The older car isn't as nice as his mom's car and he admitted to being embarrassed to drive it and called it a piece of crap. What does my boyfriend do? Nothing. Absolutely nothing. Disrespectful little snot.
Anyway I'm getting off subject...my boyfriend calls me last night and tells me that his s16 had been crying all night because he had a pop quiz at school that he wasn't prepared for. This kid is 16 years old. My boyfriend jumps into how unfair the school system is in weighting the grading scale with test scores...blah, blah, blah. This morning though...wow. He calls me this morning to tell me about an email he received from his son's school. A teacher accused his son of plagiarism. This teacher is not a teacher his son has had in school, but received an essay that is the exact essay his son turned in last year to a different teacher. The teacher said he was going to write his son up as a disciplinary action. My boyfriend tells me that his son is fragile after last night and there's no way in hell he's going to let that happen. My boyfriend thinks someone hacked his son's tablet and stole the essay! I couldn't believe what I was listening to!!!
The craziness....it makes my head hurt. Please tell me it's not just me...
Did you hang up? Laugh? Stare
Did you hang up? Laugh? Stare blankly and silently into the darkness?
Seriously. Your BF is a special breed of stupid parent, as is BM. I'm fairly certain my response, if I were just a GF, would be "that's a thing that happened, yes; are we going out sometime this weekend...?"
I am just a gf luckily! He
I am just a gf luckily! He wants to "hang out" this weekend and it's his weekend with the kid. That means I would have to drive 30 minutes to his house and sit on a loveseat (the kid lays on the couch) while watching Bob's Burgers or something equally as boring. Nah...I'm good at my place.
Um, do not saddle your life
Um, do not saddle your life with these idiots!
Boot them both and get on with life with their shallow and polluted gene pool fading into your past.
smh
Parents these days. Blaming the failures of their special little poor performing snowflakes on teachers.
When I bring up stuff
When I bring up stuff regarding his son and his lack of parenting skills, he gets mad and very defensive. I've gotten to the point where I just detach. Whatever...you do your thing and I'll do mine. It's working out for me, but he doesn't like it so much...but I remind him that he wanted to be a full time parent...not me.
HaHaHaHa
I am sorry you have to listen to this but this line "My boyfriend thinks someone hacked his son's tablet and stole the essay! Literally made me laugh out loud.
I deal with a BM that will literally believe or make up the most twisted stories before she thinks badly of my SS15, but even this one I reckon she wouldn't be able to believe.
I feel for you, but as you said, glad you are the gf and you don't live together!! Winning
Excuses excuses
Sounds like my dh there is always some excuse why my sd 17 is always being ill treated. When really she brings it in herself. Because she lazy.
If he not using the car sell it save some money.
WoW
Everyone is picking on SS. Ever think what Is going to happed when this kid reaches 18 ? Is he going to college where everyone will pick om him. Or get a job where everyone will pick on him. This kid may be in your BF home for ever
Someone hacking a tablet to
Someone hacking a tablet to steal a homework assignment sounds like something my SS would come up with. Except, he'd have told BM that it was DH who hacked his tablet and stole his homework, and BM would likely have believed it. Whereas DH would have told him to take responsibility for not doing his homework and stop making ridiculous excuses.
Your boyfriend is just another selfish father, ruining his son's chances of being a functional adult so he can "win" over BM.
That would be a deal breaker for me.
How do you envision Your life
Is going to be. Have SS 30 in your home telling you everybody at work is picking on him. And SO will be upset for picking on his fragile son ?
Your BF is an idiot. Most
Your BF is an idiot. Most teens will try homework shortcuts. Plagiarism is academic dishonesty and will get students kicked out of any decent university, should SS ever get admitted to one.
This is a learning opportunity for SS. Not a time for idiot BF to "save" him. He's doing exactly the wrong thing.
The right thing, if it were my kid, would be an apology to the teacher, redo of the assignment, plus an additional paper on plagiarism.
Are you me?!
Wow, I could have written this post! The only difference is my bf and I moved in together last summer. We’ve been together 7 years and we’re both 40’s. His son is a 16 year old 6 year old. It’s baffling. BF and I have had several talks about manipulation and being a father vs friend. Almost regretting the move in decision, but I was laid off so it made sense. Throw in some ADHD issues and also spoiled. No responsibility except for school and can’t even attend his classes. Consider yourself lucky to have your own space! I’m jealous!
Yes to this!
My DH also was like this. Skids were his "best friends". Sickening. Even after his evil daughter did her evil deeds he make up the most ridiculous excuses for her. Seriously so outrageous I can't even imagine how he thought them up.
It's just enablement of continuation of entitled snowflakes. Funnily enough skids didn't see DH as their bestie. The evil daughter did her evil things and dropped him like a hot potato and the other one only sees DH when there is some sort of benefit for them.
The only fragile thing in your situation is your SO's grasp of the concept of real parenting!