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Well. Ive done it, called things off.

Valik's picture

Submitted by Valik on Fri, 02/21/2020 - 12:24am

I have called the relationship off.

I will continue to post about history for my own satisfaction and therapeutic measures, but I've called it off.

Ive realized what was wrong the entire time. He was parenting and judging my every move, when I am not the one needing parenting. 

He tried to revert, apologized today VIA text while i was at work. After complaining of how much mess I've created while sleeping on the sofa. I didnt think much of it, til I came home. I greeted him, and started making dinner. I then in between cooking, began cleaning. He stopped me, hugged me, tried to settle me, and said he didnt want to clean all night. I was adamant, i want it done given i work 6 days a week, and would like one day off in peace. Really, i wanted to take his ammo. I began taking ignored laundry from the hampers, and hanging it in my sad excuse for a closet and Rubbermaid tote dresser. When i ran out of hangers. I informed him, i need to go purchase hangers. This struck a nerve with him. I informed him politely, if you want my stuff picked up. I need to get the hangers. This displeased him further. Things escalate, and boom. Im a pig, slob, horrible person, I live rent free and I'm screwed without him. Etc. 

I finally said, im done. Do not talk to me. He went to bed. Im on the sofa. 

Ive already removed and blocked all forms of contact, and will retreat elsewhere tomorrow. 

 

Thanks for the mental help through this struggle. You all are a dream. 

Goodnight.

Comments

Kes's picture

Submitted by Kes on Fri, 02/21/2020 - 2:14am

Well done for taking the hard decision - I hope that for you this is the first step to a happier, more peaceful life.  Carry on posting as much and for as long as you want.  A lot of us here may not any longer have troublesome step kid situations, but we stick around anyhow.  

ndc's picture

Submitted by ndc on Fri, 02/21/2020 - 2:22am

Sorry he's being such a jerk about things. I think you're making the right decision for a better future. 

Monkeysee's picture

Submitted by Monkeysee on Fri, 02/21/2020 - 6:55am

I’m glad you’re getting out. Your ex-bf’s total lack of parenting is going to cause him lifelong problems, you don’t need to put yourself through that. It 100% won’t get better, because he doesn’t see how destructive his behaviour is. You’re young, take some time for yourself & when you’re ready find a nice *childless* guy!!! 

Rumplestiltskin's picture

Submitted by Rumplestiltskin on Fri, 02/21/2020 - 7:07am

Good luck! Chalk this relationship up as a painful lesson, and move on. 

hereiam's picture

Submitted by hereiam on Fri, 02/21/2020 - 7:27am

This is really for the best and I think you know that, have probably known it for awhile.

Besides the fact that he is not partner material, I would not be able to forget him telling me that he's been wanting to end it for months. I mean, really?

Definitely stay and hang out with us!

 

justmakingthebest's picture

Submitted by justmakingthebest on Fri, 02/21/2020 - 8:41am

I am so glad you are seeing him for the POS he is. This is a hard life lesson but at least you don't have to mess with divorce or sharing a kid. Getting out now is the best thing you could ever do!

Siemprematahari's picture

Submitted by Siemprematahari on Fri, 02/21/2020 - 9:03am

Valik~ so proud that you took a stand for yourself and left that dysfunctional relationship. Wishing you all the best in this new chapter in your life. You have learned many lessons and know your worth.

Onward and upwards darlin'!

Cheers to taking control and living your best life!

Give rose

thinkthrice's picture

Submitted by thinkthrice on Fri, 02/21/2020 - 9:15am

You know it is bad when they don't parent their OWN kids but they want to parent YOU a fully grown adult.  AKA treat YOU like a child and set down rules and regs for YOU.

Valik's picture

Submitted by Valik on Fri, 02/21/2020 - 10:39am

At nearly 27, its sad i just now am realizing this. 

When told I dont have room for my clothing I was told i had too many sweatpants, and it's my problem. Continual reverting the issue as my fault. Always.

Valik's picture

Submitted by Valik on Fri, 02/21/2020 - 10:37am

Thank you all. 

I will be focusing on my career, as I've been permanently scheduled for the max hours with some weekend OT. So i might not be on here too much, but will continue to try and post. 

Ive been here a short while, but the support here is nothing like ive ever experienced before. 

 

Harry's picture

Submitted by Harry on Fri, 02/21/2020 - 10:47am

But in years to come, you will see that this is the right thing to do.  You have to be number one in a relationship.

Think about it.  BM was number one at one time.  They had time alone, to have fun together, They decided to have a child.  Thing didn't work out.  When they divorce, They were not thinking about the child. They were thinking about themselves. 
You can not be in a relationship where everybody matters but you.  You must be number 1 in a relationship,  let him and SD have a good time together, there no room for you. Unless you want to be the care taker.