Legal battles and mental health
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My partner is in a never ending legal battle with my stepchildrens mom. It's putting a toll on my mental health. I love the children and I just want to focus on the children and our relationship. Is it selfish or is it ok to ask him to not talk to me about his legal battles?
A Hard One
This is really a hard one. Being a good partner you want to be there for them but not to the point it is bringing you down. I would suggest you limit the time you are willing to listen to your partner's problems. Allot a certain amount of time then say you have something pressing that has to be done or leave the room.
Burying your head in the sand
Burying your head in the sand is not a solution.
I would suggest that rather than adopting a state of voluntary ignorance on your SO's legal battles with BM that you partner with your SO and go to war with BM to win.
It is much more effective for equity life partners to be partners in the conflicts with the blended family opposition than it is to ignore those conflicts.
IMHO of course.
That's what's so hard is we
That's what's so hard is we've been going through still for 2 years now and was supposed to be over at the end of the year and she just keeps going to the court making motion after motion because she gets denied each time the bill is now six figures and I just can't see an end of the tunnel light. Every lawyer in town says this is nothing they've seen before the lengths this woman will go
There is nothing wrong with
There is nothing wrong with you backing out of being involved in legal battles, or even leaving him out of the stress. You didn't marry the crazy woman and you don't have to sacrifice your mental health for something that is 100% his problem. Even if you love him, this could be a deal breaker.
At this point, though, I will say - he needs to stop using an attorney and just go to court on his own.
Also true. There is nothing
Also true. There is nothing wrong with writing off a useless partner and their toxic baggage.
Though rather than going pro se I would shop for a more lethal killer shark attorney and go for total destruction of the opposition. Or at least to make the process as painful as possible for the toxic opposition.
Pain changes behaviors. If she is met with constant conflict for her crap, BM will likely change her behavior. If not, she chooses the conflict and the pain.
Though there is a risk that the constant conflict can become a bit addictive. It certainly was for me. To the point where when it was finally at the point where it no longer made sense, I had a hard time letting it go. Fortuntely my incredible bride was no longer willing to stay in the game and just wrote them off and let me know that it was time for me to let it go as well. And wrote off the pile of money ($10K+) they owed us for their share of Skid related medical costs not covered by insurance over the 16+ years we lived under a CO. But... in hind sight, it was a cheap price to pay to purge the toxic from our lifes completely.
Fortuneatly SS was also able to move on from that trainwreck of a genetic cess pool. We never included him in the collection attempts to recover what they owed us. But they sure included him in it as they plied their maniplative bullshit against him.
I still make sure that we send them a statement with accumulating penalties and interest just so they know they are not getting away with anything and to let them stew on getting a court summons.
But, I guess I may just be evil that way and not quite as evolved as I should be.
Right, because I'm sure this
Right, because I'm sure this guy is able to afford another six figures. I thought you guys went pro se, now you are advocating killer attorneys?
We did both. We used the
We did both. We used the killer attorney as a big stick when necessary and as an advisor when we went pro se in court.
They would tremble when they got letters on his letter head. $200 for him to write the occasional letter outlining the hell that would be rained down on them if the did not cease and desist their crap was cheap. He also helped us with the strategy and documentation model to present in court when we went pro se before a Judge. We only had to use him once for that. After that we did our own strategy and compiled our own documentation lists.
It is not an either or thing. It is a pragmatic do what ya need to do thing.