I chose to go with my family while DH got invited to his niece's for Christmas dinner. It was to be a family affair.  I am already pretty disengaged from that so I didn't feel bad about not going. BUT come to find out, she had invited my DH's ex-wife who she's friends with and other people in her family. I am sooo glad I chose not to go. I think I would have called 911 for an ambulance to come and get me the h*ll out of there. My DH was mortified but suffered thru. When my DH told his adult daughter who lives out of town, she said well, it's not like you were going to run away together.  What am I, chopped liver?  What if I had gone? These adult children do not get that the exes in many cases don't want to be friends and the current wives don't want to socialize with them....especially when the ex was nasty, hiding the kids, dragging him to court for more support and all that. Sometimes I wish Christmas was like leap year.

SD has not set foot on our doorstep since just before Christmas in 2010 when she was thoroughly obnoxious and then had a major meltdown.  She has not sent a card or present to DH, or called to wish him a Merry Christmas.  Perhaps he called her - whatever.  But I have to tell you, not once during the week of Christmas (other than reading Steptalk) did I think of her.  Not once.  It gets better every year.

No sign of the steps anywhere.

We served a meal at our church, ate, then went to another function with friends.

I saw my kids briefly.

Santa brought me a nice gift.

Very quiet and rather uneventful.

: )

Here's to a new decade in a couple days!!

kid left at home. So kiddo opened her gifts and then we meandered to my mom's in the early afternoon where the other kids all met up with us. We ate, we opened gifts, we came home lol. 

It's weird to only have one left at home and for that one to be an older teen. We had coffee, we enjoyed watching her open her gifts from us, and we had a relaxing morning. We raised five kids between us so we are more used to crazy Christmas mornings. This is the third year of the adult kiddos doing their own thing and the first year the oldest of our two was not at home. 

It was awesome.  The skids were completely occupied with their own lives and remained several states away.  I sent gifts to SS and the grandskid and on the actual day there was about 10 minutes of texting with SS including a video of the grandskid opening her gifts.  DH was on his own for his daughter and I don't have the slightest idea what, if anything, he did for her.  We spent the entire day napping and relaxing and grazing on this finger food/tapas type thing that I put together so no one has to cook.  It was the most non-Christmas holiday ever and it was exactly what we needed!

This year was BM's year with the skids. DH and I, along with our bio baby, travelled to my family's vacation house at the beach (a 20+ hour drive). We had a nice Christmas, and Facetimed with the skids on Christmas morning and one other time. They specifically asked DH to put me on so they could wish me a merry Christmas. It was a good Christmas!

DH's family has a tradition of making homemade pierogis from scratch (called Pierogi Day of course) which we always host a couple days before X-mas Eve. We always to go SIL's for X-Mas Eve - normally my kids are in Michigan with ex-H's family. This year they were here for everything, even Christmas Day. My parents came to X-mas Eve too! Normally on Christmas we have our 4 parents over and DH cooks a really nice meal - this year my kids were there too! They went to Michigan this past weekend instead, and one of my SD's was over this weekend (one of the two I like - the one I don't like was not in town at all) Saturday to Sunday and DH and I had a lot of fun with her. Fortunately DH and I also had one night to ourselves, Friday after my kids left and before his daughter got here. It was a perfect Christmas - I am so grateful. 

We traveled to Skidville. The long trip (800 miles) is hard on these old bones and I won't do that again. I'll fly out there, but won't drive. Anyway, Christmas at SD's was fine. Not the usual passive aggressive stuff, and I loved fooling with the Sgrands. (They've never been used as weapons.)

SD started fighting with DH via text the day after we left so all is normal. She's controlling, he's guilty daddy, and I ignore it all. Dang, their dance is exhausting. 

DD26 and DS31 visited on Christmas, which is the key holiday for us. DD35 let me know in advance that she was going to be out of town, and SS26 cancelled at the last minute, disappointing his Dad and delighting me. Offspring absent on the day have put in appearances over the past week, so the required holiday rounds have been made. Sorry to sound jaded. I'm just not a Christmas person. DH and I have the rest of the holidays to ourselves. We'll celebrate the New Year with a festive meal at home and a trip to the coast over the weekend.

Seeing all of our offspring in a short time highlights for me the contrast in their personalities and relationships with us. DH is warm and sociable. His kid is cold and unlikeable, or at least comes across that way to me. DH tells me SS26 is a great guy, but I just don't see it. I can converse comfortably with pretty much anyone, but I find trying to talk to SS26 is like addressing a block of ice.

This is on him, and DH will not see it. SS26 does not speak to me unless I speak directly to him, and let's just say that his responses, while technically civil, do not encourage further conversation. I'm pretty sure the kid would not bother even with his cold, clipped politeness toward me if DH had not (with sometimes loud and forceful urging) promised to tear him limb from limb if he behaved otherwise. My kids are no angels--I rip 'em new ones in person and in absentia when appropriate--but they are warm and animated with DH, and they have real, friendly relations and lively conversations with him. Last year DD35 sent him a text on Father's Day--"Happy Father's Day! Thank you for making our Mom so happy!" DS31 and DH  watch football together, nurturing a jokey, back-slapping team rivalry.

Sometimes I feel like a complete sh!t because he's so warm and kind to my kids--much more so than I am at times--and I cannot stand the thought of his. I know this bothers DH and that he silently blames me. But it's mutual between me and SS26. We have a long and troubled history and at this point we want nothing to do with one another. I don't know that our uneasy truce can be overcome, and I can't be arsed to try. That saddens me because it bothers DH. Best I can do is be polite as long as SS26 behaves. If he steps out of line, all bets are off.

Ah, the joys of holidays in stepland. And now, let the real festivities begin!

I guess I shouldn't complain since SD actually does give gifts.  But I find her whole gift-giving attitude reflective of her personality in general, especially towards me. 

At least she stopped giving me things that were re-gifted, odd or ridiculous (like clown-sized polka dot slippers, 4 sizes too big.)   I think deep down she liked seeing me squirm a bit having to "thank" her for these thoughtless gifts.  

Since she got married, I think she may be embarrased to continue with those tactics so she has started down the impersonal small appliance path. 

In the last couple of years, she gives her dad a couple of personal gifts and then includes some sort of household appliance with both our names on it.  (My SO does not cook and she knows it.)   Last year it was a blender.  (Who doesn't already have a blender?)  Now this year it is a HUGE crockpot thing which I will never use and is way too big for two people.  I don't even have space in a cabinet big enough for it.  

But of course since it's a gift from the princess I can't criticize it.  Eventually the giant box will have to take up space in my SO's home office since there is no way in hell I will ever use it.

We were the after thoughts for Christmas again, as SD is focussed on her BM and that family.  When we did finally catch up, the brats (gskids) were not allowed to open the gift we bought as it was inconvenient for the princess and we were told she has been so busy that we were not getting gifts. I have told DH that I will never ever go to Christmas anything with her again. DH birthday is 2nd Jan and she called to say she can take him to lunch at some time during the year. I just so want to shout F**K O** to her!

Merry Christmas and HNY to you all

I am happy to hear your DH has realized what your MSD is doing. 

Our Christmas was nice.  I always hold an Open House Potluck.  It is up to DH to invite Stepkids and their families.   We invite family and friends. 

My SD refuses to attend, due to she never wants to be here anyway, doesn't want to bring a dish, and she hates the idea I have lots of family and friend near; who all attend with dish and wine in hand.  

Our day was beautiful with no toxic people in attendance.  Loved it!

SD and Sgrandkids all visited Christmas Eve day for 1 hour.  They brought the usual basket of stale treats and a candle for me.  I use electric scents,  she knows I don't do candles.  Will take it to thrift store like always.

Best gift, it was short and civil.

Low key and calm.

Just DW, mom, dad and me.

It was nice.  SS-27 was in Germany where he lives.  He called on Christmas Eve for the annual reading of The Night Before Christmas.  My dad reads from the book that he and mom bought for my first Christmas.  He has read from that book every Christmas eve for 55 Christmases.

My brother's family called from Singapore for the reading TNBC.   

No drama.  A nice family day.

How sad.

My mom;s birthday is the 26th.  My whole life dad made sure that we celebrated mom's bithday as a distinct celebration separate from Christmas though it is the day after.  Growing up my mother;s family combined Christmas and her birthday including the gifts.  She always has felt that she missed out on celebration of her birthday.  

For 57 years my dad has always made sure her birthday is celibrated.  My brother and I always make sure to be part of that.

I am sorry for your DH and for you that your Skids have turned out to be self serving money grubbing POS adults.