Comebacks needed for holiday interrogations
It should be the most wonderful time of the year, but busy body SIL has started with the holiday shenanigans again. I'll explain.
A couple of weeks ago, SIL asked DH if he was going to a holiday event with the adult skids and gskids. DH told her NO and that he did not want to. DH has only a cold and cordial relationship with adult skids when he has to see them. They are very disrespectful to him. DH said she was begging him and that she sounded pathetic and would not take NO for an answer. SIL has many times in the past tried to get DH and adult skids together, as if she is making it her life's work.
Because it's the most wonderful time of the year, DH will most likely see SIL again and she will keep pressuring DH to attend SKID and gskid events and most likely try to enlist the help of others. In the past, the skids have plotted along with SIL.
I couldn't imagine badgering my BIL like SIL does to DH. So, any good comebacks to when they ask and beg if DH will be attending these events? I like, "I found your nose, it's in my business again."
Sorry about the duplicate
Sorry about the duplicate postings. I asked support how to get rid of the two duplicates.
Shriek like a banshee and
Shriek like a banshee and keep shrieking until she runs away in terror and confusion.
This response made me laugh
This response made me laugh out loud!!
Smile and tell her that you
Smile and tell her that you come in peace ... Then ask her to take you to her leader ...
Get her some beeswax and give
Get her some beeswax and give it to her as a gift with a note that says you got her her own beeswax to mind.
EPIC CHRISTMAS PRESENT!! DO
EPIC CHRISTMAS PRESENT!! DO IT!!
Tell SIL NO and that he will
Tell SIL NO and that he will not speak or hear about it again. If she continues he needs to walk away. He needs to state his boundary LOUD & CLEAR and stick to his guns. If SIL continues, she needs to be dismissed....simple as that! Anyone who keeps pressing their buillshit on you is not worth the time or day. She needs to respect his response of no and if she can't handle it, take that sh!t somewhere else.
We already discussed this..
We already discussed this.. let's talk about something else... Nothing else to talk about? Ok.. see ya later alligator.
My copy/paste reply from your
My copy/paste reply from your duplicate post:
Wow. She DOES sound like she’s quite the busybody, huh?
In regards to SIL’s relentless and intrusive behavior, has DH recommended that perhaps she find a hobby or join a book club?
Has he informed her that the phone works both ways? That if these grown skids were genuinely and equally interested in getting together over the holidays that they could, you know, reach out to him?
These might help shut her up and shut her down, if at least temporarily.
Your statement of skids “plotting” with SIL to make contact really sticks out to me. Is this like some sort of group effort to act emotionally unhealthy towards DH? If so, why? There’s a lot to unpack here.
Not sure why they gang up on
Not sure why they gang up on DH sometimes. Maybe they feel if more than one asks him the same thing he will do whatever they want. Who knows? They will even do phone calls in tandem, one right after the other, if it is something they want DH to do. Thanks for the advice
Great ideas here. Thank you everyone.
Great ideas here. Thank you
They do this as a way to
They do this as a way to bully him into submission. He has to be strong enough to SHUT IT DOWN and not entertain it. If he doesn't give them attention, slowly but surely it will decrease their need to feel relevant.
IGNORE and show them no relevance!
Hope your H has it in him to stand strong!
Awful!
I had a Sister (passed away 5 years ago) who stuck her nose in my business instead of supporting me as her Sister. It was very judgmental and unnecessary. To keep the peace and avoid ostracism from the rest of the family I just smiled and gave no reply. I finally "Gave her permission to act in my place." She didn't want that, "Oh no." You see, I exposed her.
Your DH needs to 'reveal' his Sister for what she really is - a person who is trying to come off as 'the Savior' to everyone else and sharing her judgements with the rest of the family but wouldn't do the real work herself.
"No" and then walk off. He
"No" and then walk off. He does not owe anyone an explaination, let alone multiple explainations to a middle-(wo)man.
Instead of answering, change
Instead of answering, change the subject.
Let's talk about SIL's hairy upper lip. Does she need some beauty advice?
As a counselor told my DH in
As a counselor told my DH in regards to MIL, who never met a boundary she didn't want to stomp all over and always uses the excuse that she is just trying to "show the children that their family loves them", because by implication, DH is not doing that:
"When someone ignores your boundaries, you need to make sure that you have been very clear with them and then be willing to back away from them, if they continue to ignore your requests."
DH is now cordial to his mother, but brushes off most of her requests to connect with him by either being too busy to take her calls or deflecting her requests for conversation.
It sounds like your DH need to put SIL at arms length. He can say, "oh hi, how are you!", but that's it. When she calls, let it go to voicemail and maybe call back at a time when he knows she won't be able to answer to say, "sorry I missed you..." and then not be available again the next time she calls.
Confronting her directly won't lead to change, your DH will have to work to neutralizing her by not giving her any more opportunities to try to "fix" things.
People who feel as though they need to "fix" other people's lives are missing something in their own lives. For example, my MIL is an attention-seeker who has a need to feel useful, even if she is not being useful. She's incapable of letting others manage their own things - that's why one of her children lives in a different country, another lives just far enough away that she can't meddle on a day to day basis. DH was the only child who she could count on to be manipulated and now she's *finally* pushed him over the edge, so she'll end up alone, with no one replying to her emails and texts (as happens now).
"We have already discussed
"We have already discussed this and the answer hasn't changed, so what are you have problems with? The "N" or the "O"?