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Advise on feelings...

rhabelow's picture

Submitted by rhabelow on Wed, 11/20/2019 - 1:13pm

Bf & his kids ss25, sd21 and sd30 and their indulged personalities and my uneasy feelings when they visit or stop by, bf/father setting tone of treatment and ganging up and dumping on me ( sd21 & ss25) lived w us for 3 years and 1 year as I couldn't stand to be told I should clean up after them and I work full time and part time and clean the house and they do nothing.   Nothing.  Play games and also as in hs and did not contribute at all.   I am/was too tired to do things for them after seeing my attempts to stear them and direct them fell on hostile ears and no help from bf.   Gone on for 5 years and clear as day they don't like me and my bf says I need to be friends w them.    I know I'm at bottom.  Too many rude comments and rolled eyes and strange references.  Like a bad game being played in front of your eyes.  Why does bf think they have a say.  ????    I know what I need to do but till 

ready I have to ensure it, and now bf says I need to get over it.   I can't talk to him.  He doesn't get it.  
Any thoughts or advice ?  I am venting due to panic 

Comments

Aniki-Moderator's picture

Submitted by Aniki-Moderator on Wed, 11/20/2019 - 1:34pm

Your crappy bf thinks his crappy kids have a say because HE GIVES THEM ONE.

My advice? RUN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And I'm quite serious. Your bf is a terrible bf. There are plenty of men out there who will treat you as a PARTNER; not a maid and cook for their crappy kids. Why do you tolerate being treated so shabbily??? Move out and move on with your MUCH BETTER life.

captjacksprrw's picture

Submitted by captjacksprrw on Wed, 11/20/2019 - 2:19pm

If your post had said any of these things, I would have suggested working on it.  However, I did not read:

  • He talks openly with me about it and we discuss
  • It is such a loving relationship with BF
  • He has started changing or agreed to x/y

This is NOT normal.  It is emotionally abusive.  Get out, take your time and you will locate someone who will be an actual partner.  Adult Skids at home (barring disability or a Temporary situation) is NOT ok, the treatment you get and the total lack of BF acting remotely like a real man (hey I'm a guy and he should grow a pair) spells disaster.  Get clear of this; cut every tie and do not allow him back into your life.

Merry's picture

Submitted by Merry on Wed, 11/20/2019 - 5:22pm

If you know you're at the bottom, why do you stay? The situation sounds abusive and intolerable. 

Have you thought about an exit plan?