So I am new to this blog thing but I need some biest opinions and help from others with the same problem.  So here I go. My husband of 5 years together for 9 has 2 girls. When I entered this relationship I knew what I was up against for he was recently separated from his wife of 6 years. I dated him for a few months and see the control she had or tho she had. She would call when we were together asking if he was with me and why I was around so much. Not being seriously involved at this point it didn't hurt my feelings,  until I started to see her true colors when we got serious.  Yes I should of see the red flags but this man melted my heart and we hit it off so fast it was scary.  I will take you back a little bit, I a single mom of 5 years was over the divorce problem.  Him not so much. Soooo, we move in together after 5 months  of dating.  We moved really fast. He was still paying for her cell phone and van payment until the divorce was final. After our first holiday together the problem started. I should of left when I could but I love this man and still do. I would receive messages on my social media saying she was in our bedroom and she played dress up with my makeup after she had sex with him when I was at work. Problem 1. I fed into this stupid game and asked what color my sheets were and she wouldn't reply. Flash news, I hate liers.. I paid for their divorce, probably the worst mistake ever but she was needy and we had his 2 girls 75% of the time as she was going on cruises and getting new tattoos with the van payment money as we later find out. As time moves on we end up separating due to the fact on his birthday he called her while I was in the room. Using a drunken night and me in the hospital due to being drugged by some random person we rekindled our relationship.  After that her and I were civil until the divorce proceedings.  All he wanted was 50 50 she refused quit her job and asked for alimony. With him paying almost 1500 a month he lost everything. I stepped in a replaced it so he could function. Wanting more she said I was not allowed around the children and he was to answer her calls anytime the children were in his care. So moving on, 2 years later I decided to move forward and get us a life together.  After countless hours of fighting and drama, I threw in the towel and told him if I didn't come before her from now on, I was gone. I left for 1 week and when I returned it seemed different so I stayed, there were things I didn't agree with but I put on my big girl pants and made it work. We married and that's when shit hit the fan. I'm so over her and her nasty ways, after she finally started dating a man his ex wife reached out to me asking how she was as a woman, for sometime I did not answer until the woman told me why she was asking. I only told her of my experience with her and no more. Now me and my husband ex do not even communicate.  Well I have to say I'm not her biggest fan, but my step daughter is in cheer and I want so bad to be there but being around the ex wife is so nerve racking I have mixed emotions.  Seems like every time my husband is near her she has a reason to say some smart stuff a few days later, and I am over her drama ways. So I am stuck because I want to see my daughter cheer, but I refuse to be around her anymore.  I'm I wrong for telling my husband I will go but if she comes anywhere near us I will leave? I refuse to go to dinner with them after because the site of her makes me cringe.  Am I the jealous one? Do I need to change my way of thinking? I need advice please. No comment will be a bad comment so please help me understand why I feel so alone in this choice.