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Too close for comfort

sickofstephell's picture

Submitted by sickofstephell on Thu, 10/24/2019 - 6:19pm

My co worker is a step mom to two teenagers. They have one child together. His ex wife - aka his high school girlfriend - left when the two children were very young. He immediately met my co worker - who is 10 years younger - and they got married and she began playing mommy to his children. Bio mom came back into the picture some years after that. Bio mom and step mom act like friends. They are friends on social media - always liking and commenting posts. They both go to family events. Bio mom even babysits step mom's daughter. It's weird. But bio mom often calls my co worker's husband over to her house to "fix her car" or "help move furniture around" - and it's always late at night. I feel like my co worker is naive. Or maybe just weird. She said that her husband and bio mom are "best friends" and "have so much history" that she would not want to get in the way of that. Um - that's too weird for me. If my steps mom ever comes back into their lives - I have no interest in being her best friend and I would not agree with my husband being her best friend either.

Comments

hereiam's picture

Submitted by hereiam on Thu, 10/24/2019 - 6:49pm

I guess naive is one word for it. Poor thing.

If my DH wanted to be best friends with BM and "move her furniture around" late at night, I would tell him to just stay there permanently, then he could re-arrange her furniture anytime he liked - but he would not be touching MY furniture, anymore.

SteppedOut's picture

Submitted by SteppedOut on Thu, 10/24/2019 - 6:54pm

Perhaps she should give her husband some KY. I hear it makes it easier to move furniture.

Chmmy's picture

Submitted by Chmmy on Thu, 10/24/2019 - 7:13pm

My ex had the same live in girlfriend for 13 years til the day he died.  Her & i are still friends & she  feels like a step mom to my kids. My ex used to help me out with my car or my home and she never had a problem. There was no reason for us to hate each other. I never gave her a reason to hate me. 

Livingoutloud's picture

Submitted by Livingoutloud on Thu, 10/24/2019 - 8:22pm

My exDH and I are on friendly terms. I am friends with DDs SM too. No need to hate each other. I stayed  in ex and SMs house when visiting the area and they stayed  in mine. No big deal. Ex and I have been divorced for over 25 years because we just weren’t a good match. We obviously long moved on and are happily married. My ex and SM have 3 more kids, DDs siblings. We have no unresolved feelings or jealousy or insecurity. Nothing to fight about. Not everyone hates their exes. 

Saying that ex and I don’t call each other late at night or make unusual requests. Thats insanity  

justmakingthebest's picture

Submitted by justmakingthebest on Fri, 10/25/2019 - 7:17am

I get along great with my kids SM. She and I are social media friends and last night for my daughter's birthday, they flew in from California and My family (Parents, brother, sister, DH, SS and my bios) and their family (ExH, SM, SM's parents, SM's brother) all went to dinner for DD12. We are spending the night at Great Wolf Lodge together (separate rooms). No big deal- The hotel did give me anxiety for a while but I am good with it now. 

HOWEVER- I would have never asked my ex to move furniture or fix my car. Not even when he was local. I would ask the SM for help WAAAYYY before I would ever ask my ex if I was single. I feel like that great bond they have happens in the bedroom pretty often from the sounds of it. Poor gullible girl...

Cooooookies's picture

Submitted by Cooooookies on Fri, 10/25/2019 - 1:39pm

I am friends with BM1.  She's lovely, we get along great, there are no hard feelings, etc.  HOWEVER I would not let DH go over to her house several nights per week to "fix her whatever".  Your co-worker is getting duped.