I don't have bio children.. "but"... It's a pretty much a certainty that you are going to have a different feeling towards your daughter vs stepkids.  biology is a big part of that.. 

I bet you will be just fine.. yeah.. kids can aggravate.. but that inate uncondiitonal love and mama bear instinct will likely take over.

enjoy your pregnancy... no guarantee your kid will be at all like your steps are.

Don’t worry. It is like comparing apples and oranges and the feelings are galaxies apart.

My baby boy is the song in my heart.

I tear up just looking at him or even thinking about him and I wouldn’t have said I was a particular lover of children generally before him.

You’ll be great! Remember, it’s very normal to be nervous. Xx

Look at it this way - your daughter is not going to be like the skids because YOU are going to be parenting her.  And you've had the benefit of seeing the parenting mistakes that have been made with the skids, so you can learn from them.  You will love your daughter unconditionally, so when her behavior is not perfect (it won't be) and she's annoying the heck out of you, it won't be as annoying as if a stepchild or another unrelated child is doing it.  You'll be fine!

A bio is going to be so different because you actually get to make the decisions rather than be at the mercy of two other parents getting to make the decisions you have to follow. Plus kids always love their bioparents no matter what they do, stepkids love is conditional. 

It's a very tough concept to explain to someone who has yet to experience it. I mean, let's face it...who can throw up on you, overflow crap out of a diaper onto your brand new furniture, cry all night with colic, not smile until they're 3 months old, and get away with reaching the very depths of your soul? Having your own child is like having your heart walking around outside of your body. Anything that hurts them, hurts your heart exponentially more.

Your momma instincts will kick in the second your baby is in your arms. I remember thinking in that moment, "Oh thank God he's ok, and my worries have ended. No, they'reonly just beginning!"

So much joy, love and happy memories await your parental journey with your baby.

Keep in mind, you will be highly biased when it comes to "your child" and most likely less tolerant of the SK's. 

Wow. I fee exactly the same, except I am not yet pregnant.  I’ve known I wanted to be a mother since I was young though and for a very very long time I would say I couldn’t imagine my life without it. Until now. I am totally depleted by my skids schedules and their needs.. I don’t know how much more I could give. 

I think this is pretty normal.  Like everyone above said.. I think the biological bind will trump all your worries on this front and you will be an amazing mom. 

Hey.

My one and only bio baby has just turned 1. I usually have a very good relationship with my step son but during pregnancy there were moments I really struggled with him. I dont think it helped that he himself said he was worried about having a little brother because he wanted to love him and not feel jealous but baby brother would be staying with us and he would have to go back to mums.

I was able to talk very honestly with my husband over all feelings, we figured it was partly survival instinct. 

But once that baby was in my arms, oh my goodness, how different the emotions are for your own and your step child. Now I love my step son, but the way I feel for my biological baby truly eclipsed that.

Seeing the boys together? From that very first time my step son held his baby brother, to now seeing them play together truly fills me with such love and pride. The boys love each other, theres a big enough gap that my step son can actually be helpful. My step son is about to turn 10 and baby boy has just turned 1. 

So I would say let yourself feel all those feelings. Good, bad and ugly. You wont care once your baby is in your arms. 

followed by her brother the following year.

whatever issues i have with skids like disrespect, no manners, not being considerate or appreciative of others, i feel has pushed me to hold my kids to a higher standard.

i don’t do half arsed parenting, as a parent you need to step up and not do a shit job intentionally.

my kids are currently almost 4, and 2.5, my 3 skids (sd23.5, ss21.5 & sd14.5) do not even compare to my kids. They lack basic life skills. So while the world makes excuses for my pathetic skids, i’m letting my kids know that there is never an excuse for them to behave like little shits.

the first few months are overwhelming but just take a breather and destress at times, vent to hubby and communicate whatever you are feeling and when you feel you need his support

if it makes you feel any better....I have 3 older bio kids and still had these SAME exact feelings when pregnant with our shared child who is now 1.

I was scared to death (still am) that our shared child would look like, talk like, act like or even breath like my skids......it haunted me. I literally had nightmares during my pregnancy that my baby was born looking exactly like skids....who look like BM.....Skids are NOTHING like I would ever want my child to be like......and I feel zero connection to my skids as far as them being my family....so I knew the feelings I had for them would not spill over on to my own child.

Once the baby was born....everything was fine and I realized that she is MY child....not raised by skids crazy ass mother and spinelss DH.....and that I would raise her as I raised my other 3 children....which are also nothing at all like skids.

 Alot of good changes also came when baby was born....BM backed off a bit as she knew that she could no longer hold "his kids" over his head....b/c there is now another kid involved....and youngest skid12 had to grow up and realize that she wasn't infact a 2 year old trapped in a 12 year olds body. LOL.

I was childless when DH and I married and I had these exact same fears. I found my relationship with my SK even more difficult when I was pregnant than I ever had previously. I looked at them constantly, trying to pinpoint exactly how they were irritating me and what the source was so I could raise my biokid differently.

Like everyone else said, the love, patience, and tolerance you have for your own kid is unfathomable when you compare it to SK's. It helped me understand DH and little more after having an "ours" baby. My SK and my biokid are nothing alike, total opposite personalities and mannerisms.

I was a non breeder when we married and I am still a non breeder 25+ yeaers later.

I don't hate kids. In fact, I like them very much.  I just have no overwhelming desire to produce one.

My thoughts on kids are entirely based on their behavior. I can like them or not equally based on their behaviour whether I am related to them or not.  Some of the kids I enjoy the most I have zero family relationship with. Some that I can't stand have been spawned by family.

Pretty much what everyone else has said. I remember being pretty scared when my DD was born. I had no idea what to do with babies - it took me about half an hour to even change a nappy initally! But the love far outweighed anything I had ever felt for the skids. Yes, your own will misbehave and drive you up the wall but your maternal instinct makes you able to tolerate it far better. And if you're dealing with poorly parented skids, it give you a good heads up on why it's so important that your own are brought up to be decent human beings. 

Skid and my bios are literally the juxtaposition of the best and worst things in my life. Not anywhere near the same. I get where you're coming from though, I have all boys and the thought of having a girl makes my heart sink because of my experience with SD. But I'm sure if I ever actually did have a girl it would be totally different.

I’m a SM & BM as well, my bio is a few months old. Even though I’m so new to being a BM I’d take being a BM over being SM any day of the week. There’s honestly no comparison. Your DD is your flesh & blood, you’ll love her more than you could ever imagine. Skids aren’t. It’s incredibly rare for someone to love their skids the way they love their bios, that biological attachment simply isn’t there. Add in parenting differences, HC exes, and a total lack of control where skids are concerned... it’s difficult. I’m often envious of my friends & family who have no skids. I love my DH & my BK is my world, but a life without the drama of steps is my fantasy.

I hear you. I'm in the same boat as far as how difficult it is to live with kids you didn't help raise. I believe I would have made different decisions as their mom and dad, and I have to try really hard to keep my mouth shut sometimes.

I definitely identify with you on the notion that your firsts with the love of your life are firsts he had with someone else, and now he has kids that remind you of this.

But... we're trying to have a baby. I'm excited to have a child that I CAN make the decisions for them from the beginning. What makes me more nervous is the relationship they'll have with their half-siblings. Those defining moments (hopefully good ones) will be firsts for all of you and it's all because of your daughter. How cool is that?

Maybe you just need to look at this differently, and that may help you? I wish good things for you and your new little girl!