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Columbus Day...did you get an extra day with the skids?

Chmmy's picture

Submitted by Chmmy on Mon, 10/14/2019 - 8:51am

I used to love school holidays when I was a teacher.  Now it's just an extra day of the skids being home. BM had a busy weekend so she only took the skids for a few hours Friday. DH and I both worked Saturday so MIL took the little skids and took them to the zoo on Sunday so we still got our time off from the skids. Even if BM took the kids for her time this weekend you can bet she wouldn't keep them Monday anyways. DH is CP 90%

Anyone get an extra skid day due to the long weekend?  I always hope for an extra day off when it's a holiday weekend but BM usually disappoints.

I'm home with the kids but I'm not exactly babysitting as I just stay up in my room as much as possible. They are just here...I know some of you get how annoying that is. Our DHs don't realize that while the skids don't need much babysitting their presence in our home is unsettling. 

Anyone else have a Columbus day story or just have a shitty weekend and want to vent?

Comments

bananaseedo's picture

Submitted by bananaseedo on Mon, 10/14/2019 - 9:09am

I hated those days lol.  SD is 18 now so no more visitation-in fact we actually WANT to see her but she's been MIA since she's getting into some shady stuff lately so doesn't show face.

I do remember my exh would always 'switch around' his visitations weekends so EVERY year the long holidays would fall on me -the custodial so he never would have to have them extra days-and it it fell on his weekends he would return them Sunday anyways and claim he had to work. Keep in mind he never re-married or had a live in gf so it wasn't like the stepmom was sending them home earlier lol...he was just a douchebad that never wanted to see his kids.

Chmmy's picture

Submitted by Chmmy on Mon, 10/14/2019 - 10:10am

Yep sounds like BM. We have to work around her schedule because we are custodial. We get a big $50 a week from her for 4 kids. The oldest is 20 but in college. Last year BM gave her $100 for a school book.

NotThatTypical's picture

Submitted by NotThatTypical on Mon, 10/14/2019 - 9:15am

It depends on the custody order. SO’s does not address Columbus Day so BM would get it since his time ends Sunday at 5 PM. Same for any other tiny school only holiday. Now big ones like Memorial Day, Spring Break, Thanksgiving, and Christmas are spelled out.

Chmmy's picture

Submitted by Chmmy on Mon, 10/14/2019 - 9:23am

BM usually wants the kids on Christmas or Thanksgiving for her family party because she puts on the Mother of the Year show. Little school holidays just means her having an extra day with the kids which is so unnecessary to her.

NotThatTypical's picture

Submitted by NotThatTypical on Mon, 10/14/2019 - 9:26am

Yes but also what does your order say? We take the kids every extra moment we can but that doesn't mean we always can. If it's a random day off and we didn't plan for it we can't just not go to work or call in a baby sitter just so BM who has primary and get's child support doesn't have to.

I'm not saying she's a great mother. I'm saying its useless to stress over it. Unless the order says different she is not required to take them.

Chmmy's picture

Submitted by Chmmy on Mon, 10/14/2019 - 9:53am

She didn't take them for her weekend because she was busy so we used up our sitter and now have no sitter for today. I just wanted to have coffee with an out of town family member and visit with my brother who is going to my mom's house. I plan on leaving at some point to see my aunt and I'm not taking the skids

Chmmy's picture

Submitted by Chmmy on Mon, 10/14/2019 - 9:54am

Read above comment about using up our sitter over the weekend. BM does as she pleases and it ducks. Not the skids fault but I still resent them

SSstepmom's picture

Submitted by SSstepmom on Mon, 10/14/2019 - 9:39am

I work from home and they live here. Soooo home all day with bios and steps while dh works. 

lieutenant_dad's picture

Submitted by lieutenant_dad on Mon, 10/14/2019 - 9:42am

It's Fall Break and we had the boys 2 weekends in a row plus all last week. And BM hasn't told DH yet if she is planning on keeping the boys for 2 weekends to make up or if we are getting them again this weekend since it's DH's normal visitation weekend.

Let's add to that that OSS mentioned BM wanting to switch weekends entirely, which now has me on alert to shenanigans AGAIN since BM just married her BF of less than a month sometime over the weekend. Not sure if she wants to put the boys on the same weekends as her new DH's kids or what. Only time will tell...

Kes's picture

Submitted by Kes on Mon, 10/14/2019 - 9:48am

Thankfully we don't have Columbus Day in the UK - why celebrate a man who was too proud to ask for directions? ;-)  We do have a number of "Bank Holidays" which are usually a Monday and we sometimes used to have to have the SDs for one of these if it was on a SKID weekend.  I always dreaded them.  

Chmmy's picture

Submitted by Chmmy on Mon, 10/14/2019 - 11:10am

I know right? We don't exactly celebrate the day but take the free day off!

SeeYouNever's picture

Submitted by SeeYouNever on Mon, 10/14/2019 - 10:15am

We are supposed to but didn't. I wonder if my husband is saving up his days until we have our baby or if BM is trying to get us to take SD more once the baby is here. I'm not involved in these conversations.

Ispofacto's picture

Submitted by Ispofacto on Mon, 10/14/2019 - 10:16am

Killjoy is indeed off today and tomorrow but it's not my problem.  I used to hate the thought of her in my home all day without supervision.  But I kicked her out yesterday, so HA!

DH had to get an apartment in town.  Killjoy was with Satan, so I this weekend was Moving Weekend.

Booyah!

My heart goes out to the rest of you Dear Ladies.

 

tog redux's picture

Submitted by tog redux on Mon, 10/14/2019 - 10:47am

BM carefully wrote the CO so that she always got every long weekend with SS. She needed that extra time to be sure the alienation was effective

tog redux's picture

Submitted by tog redux on Mon, 10/14/2019 - 11:21am

Yes, the same pathology seems to cause them to either abandon their kids with the father, or cut their kids off from the father, sometimes alternating.

Chmmy's picture

Submitted by Chmmy on Mon, 10/14/2019 - 12:17pm

I hope I was a good BM. My ex had a live in gf for 13 years till he passed away.  Her & I are still friendly, occasionally get together, chat on Facebook about my bios.

 

bananaseedo's picture

Submitted by bananaseedo on Mon, 10/14/2019 - 2:13pm

Yeah mine too...Our BM was doing the same my exh did in reverse-setting up so ALL long weekends fell on my dh's time- She would also demand the non big Monday Holidays to be sent w/us that weren't spelled out in the CO (Like COlumbus, etc)- of course Christmas main day were hers to show off LOL. She was the biggest dead beat ever.

She eventually lost custody of SD for meth use when SD was 15- she was SO badly damaged, after a month or two at our house refusing to abide by the rules ALL kids had to (mine included) she was sent to live w/my MIL-who proceeded to allow her to do ANYTHING she wanted, including move in a boyfriend at only 16, have revolving door or friends living there, animals that came w/out permission, including friends pets.  Somehow she though we would allow her to come back and do exactly the same in our house -NOPE.  So she stayed there so MIL coudl allow her to do whatever she pleased.  

She 'resents' us 'dumping her' but expected us to never demand SD follow the house rules. She should have been allowed to come back, and live as she wanted while my sons her age would still have to follow home rules.  Eff that noise.  SD would have never complied.  

Cooooookies's picture

Submitted by Cooooookies on Mon, 10/14/2019 - 11:14am

I get SS17 allllllllll yearrrrrrrrrrrrrrr loooooooooooong.  With the exception of 14-21 days.  I'd be deliriously ecstatic if he was only here for a 3 day weekend.

Chmmy's picture

Submitted by Chmmy on Mon, 10/14/2019 - 12:25pm

I honestly think it is better than the alternative. DHs CS was $640 a week + school, medical & activity expenses. He also bought their clothes, supplies, groceries, tampons. You name it.  He paid for it. He also spent money taking them places and had them almost half the time after school & weekends anyways. He'd be paying for them but still have them all the time and then it would be let's spoil the skids because it's our special time together.

I'm just complaining because I didn't want to be stuck in the house but when SD17 took them out to breakfast, I snuck out. Now SD is stuck with them. I'm at my parents(again) hiding out (again). Going to have lunch with family soon so I shouldn't complain...but I do.

Cooooookies's picture

Submitted by Cooooookies on Mon, 10/14/2019 - 1:17pm

Lol we all complain and that's ok.  It's hard enough raising your own children...comes with a bit more complications raising someone else's children.  In my situation it is definitely better that he live with us.  BM2 is a psycho and SS17 doesn't have the crazy gene.  Lawdy only knows what sort of damage she'd do to him if he lived with her full-time.  I'd hate to think of it.