Narcissist causing stress

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Little rant i guess.

Backstory : my husbands ex is bringing him back to court for full custody because she thinks he sons should be on a gluten free diet. None are allergic as she says, and we know this for a fact. So it's constant harassment and threats from here about pretty much everything under the sun.

*Rant*

I guess I'm just drained and tired. This wasn't the life I thought I was going to have. Constant stress from husbands ex that never goes away. From the time we got married. It lingers non stop. I guess there's always some sort of issues when dealing with blended families but she is so out of hand i don't know if i can handle it. I don't know how to just not care and step back. Her stupidity and ignorance gets me so worked up I just want to scream. And she's like a nagging misquito that never goes away. Ever! She's beyond mirsable on a daily bases, never smiles, always fighting with her husband, so apparently she needs to make everyone else's life mirsable like hers.
This isn't what I wanted in a marriage. Constant stress in the home. Maybe it's harder because my kids dad is nowhere remotely close to how she is so her actions seem so far off and extreme, mind you they are. I just don't understand how one woman can be so mirsable and such a controlling narcissist. Expecially when kids emotions and needs are number one but her need for complete control trumps that. It's beyond sad and I feel pitty for her as her kids get older and are bound to resent her for all she has done. Expecially when they are old enough to know the truth. It makes me cringe when the little one cries because of ridiculous reasons he's going to get yelled at for when he goes home (like getting off the ice to pee and feeling sick then not going back out for the last 5min of practice).
I try and step back and stay out of it but it's part of our life and I wish so much she would disappear. Then we can actually be happy. Then we can have a normal marriage. I don't have to be constantly stressed out and wondering what bullshit she's going to pull next to try and get her way.

So what's her reason for the

So what's her reason for the gluten-free diet? Seriously? A whim? Or is ther more? (I have a child who has celiac disease and am low tolerance on this kind of thing.)

I myself am celiac. Because

I myself am celiac. Because he wasn't growing and he's short, minduyou she is and his father is. Before the gluten it was seeing a pediatric neurologist, she needs to find a reason why he's small. He's full of energy (plays hockey, and in gymnastics), no digestive issues and he has no effects from food. He did allergy tests and came back negitive. So he hit 9 and he hit his growth spurt (which is typical age) which she contributed to gluten free.

I can't tolerate people who jump on the gluten free bandwagon for the fun of it. There's no health benefits as everything is more processed and higher in calories, fats and full of shit.

She's a loon...

I can't imagine a judge listening to this kind of crap and telling her she's right - she has no proof, no basis, no medical opinions, nothing.

Sorry that you're celiac ... OTOH, I find that my daughter's diagnosis made us very much more aware of what we're all eating. And that's a good thing

Yes very much. Our lawyer

Yes very much. Our lawyer already told us to be prepared for the judge to tell her it's a waste of his/her time. Trying to get sole custody over an adult disagreement over diet she never even consulted him about to start with (shared custody) . Just a whole shit of stress and waste of money for nothing.

Yes it's a whole new world that's for sure. I don't force it on the family but never really having too much of that kind of food anyways so it's been good for everyone.

Yes very much. Our lawyer

Yes it's a whole new world that's for sure. I don't force it on the family but never really having too much of that kind of food anyways so it's been good for everyone.

I have celiac, did some

I have celiac, did some research, and decided to take my kids off both gluten and dairy, though I let them cheat on occasion. There are a couple of studies linking high consumption of gluten to the development of celiac disease. Also, gluten and dairy trigger reactions in people with other autoimmune diseases, which also run in our family. I was very sick when diagnosed, and I’m still recovering. I don’t want them to go through that, and I’m doing my best to prevent it.

Theres also studies straight

Theres also studies straight from the celiac association site that says taking it out for a long period of time will give you an allergy to it. Instead I teach my kids to have a healthy wholesome diet, limiting carbs as they are the body's main energy source and they are just growing kids who are active.

Can you send me the link?

Can you send me the link? Not to argue but out of general curiosity, I haven’t heard that.

Here's more on the nutrition

Here's more on the nutrition side effects. Have to find the article I was talking about, my husband found it it's in his files somewhere. I kept these for my own read as I want the kiddos healthy

https://nutritionfacts.org/2016/02/23/how-a-gluten-free-diet-can-be-harm...

https://celiac.org/about-the-foundation/featured-news/2017/05/study-find...

https://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/nutrition-and-healthy-eatin...

I don't want this to become a celiac debate as I have it and been living with it all my life I don't need anymore lectures on it. Stressed enough about the narcissist. The boy eats all food no problem.

Eh. Most Americans that eat

Eh. Most Americans that eat gluten die of heart disease. There are many other countries out there that eat less gluten and have less heart disease and longer lifespans. Doesn’t phase me.

From what I understand

If you don't "need a gluten free diet it is bad gor you. Just saying ...

Pretty much.

Put DH in charge of meals.

That Breakfast, Lunch, Dinner and snakes. Nothing wrong with a gluten free diet. Just time consuming to shop for it.

When kids now think French

When kids now think French fries is a meal he's not getting the nutrients he needs. There are actually issues going gluten free for the fun of it.

Sorry your going thru alllll

Sorry your going thru alllll of this. I understand court hearing after court hearing AFTER court hearing. The money could be better spent on a school trip for the kid OR vacation for the kid.

Fact is:

Mom has to prove it is medically necessary by a doc who will back her. Still that will not sway a Judge to say OK dad mom has sole custody.

Now to be 'real' some docs will write what ever the bm wants them to. Soooo, I would suggest cozy up to the kids doctor a little to find where he/she is on the topic. Or ask for a referral to endocrinologist? IF not done already.

We have a kid actually 2 kids in our neighborhood. Little as can be compaired to their boy peers. At around age 13, 14 these kids ZOOMED so tall we couldn't believe it.

Boys can be late bloomers just like girls. Maybe your ss will just be short. Poor kid I hope she doesn't talk about it all day long with him.............

Yea.... The problem is she

Yea.... The problem is she won't give us the health card to see the doctor. So we havent even been able to give the doctor his dads family history let alone our side of thr gluten situation, which would put the whole tbingd to rest. She refuses to let my husband go to doctors appointments and doesn't even tell him about them because it will make her and the kids too uncomfortable sitting together. Yet when my husband wants to make a appt expecially to fill the doctor in she has to be present because she has the card. Police officers have already told her to give him a copy, we went 8 hours away on vacation and yet still refuses to give us the card. Her need for control trumps her child's health.

Oh i know, he's just a little guy. Nothing wrong with him at all. Except his mother constantly telling him he's too small. Kid even broke out in tears because he thinks he's not good enough. It's sad

I understand your struggle!

DH's X loves to put unnecessary restrictions on the skids' food... Mostly when she's desperate to be in control. For a long time, SS was "allergic" to peanuts. She refused testing for months before he was tested and found not to be allergic. Then it was food dyes... First they made him "hyper" and then he was allergic, which she reported to the school. Totally untrue. Then she decided that he has ADHD (unfounded multiple times by multiple doctors) so she started giving him coffee and soda everyday.

For a long time, she tried to enforce these restrictions at our house. That fell flat.

But dealing with crackpots like this is like death by a million paper cuts. And it's so easy to get sucked into the drama... Or maybe more appropriate is that it's hard to stay out of it. I've always struggled because I adore my DH. When she's attacking him, it affects everyone in my house. How do you not get affected by it? And then, to top it off, you're dealing with the skids who feed into the drama, too, by spying and reporting, and just being skids, too. I have wanted to walk away several times, but I adore my DH.

Pretty much my life.

I don't know why she can't do whatever the hell she wants to at her house and leave use the hell alone at ours. Obviously she's a controlling narcissist.

He has no allergy. He's super happy here, jts only when he goes back and gets drilled to the point he's in tears and upset then we get the message of how shitty of a dad he is. His son is so sick and has to miss school. But he's so stressed and upset that's causing the stomach aches and headaches. He even got upset this weekend because during hockey practice he had to go pee so he went off the ice in the last 10 minutes. By the time he would get redress he would have like four minutes before practice was done so he just stayed off. Then he broke into tears in the car because if his mom found out and he's going to get in trouble and he goes home. How sad is that!!

I try to support my husband and I listen to him so he can vent but omg I can't deal. I tell him to stand up for himself since she's been controlling all these years but she's so use to it that it starts her physco temper. Then he doesn't want to deal with it. Such a limbo. That I'm stuck in! The bitch was like this since he disagreed with the diet almost 2 yrs ago. And served him court papers the week after our wedding. Yay me

It's awful what the kids go through

And they shouldn't have to.

Your situation is frightfully similar to ours, from the sounds of it. BM loves to interrogate the skids (or have others do it for her!) about everything that happens when they're with us. SD (now 14.5) used to get the headaches and belly aches as she anticipated the stress. SS 10 is BM's golden child, so he struggles with being with us. I mean, he's fine here, but he doesn't like to enjoy himself too much when he's with us, and he'll sabotage it if it gets too fun (puking, pretending to be miserable, etc.), because Mommy misses him when he's here. We've been at this for close to 7 years, so we've seen a little bit of everything.

Our BM pushes and pushes until DH files for court--that way she's got clean hands, right?--and then refuses to negotiate or resolve anything. Everything's fine with her, DH is the problem. He's a deadbeat who takes the kids anytime and pays child support on time, everytime. And then DH gets exhausted by her drama and frustrated and wants to give up, which means I go into "I'll take care of it" mode, which loops me back in the BS.

It's a helluva an existence.

Omg very similar. There's

Omg very similar. There's one son who's completely healthy that won't even come over for over a year because he dad doesn't agree with the gluten thing and his mom let's him do whatever he wants. Even to the point of trying to say she's helping getting him to come over meanwhile schedual art class or other activities on his dads day. It's a simple case of aliantion.

Yes, I wish he would just got at her. With all the crap she puts him through. She Even tired forcible confinement in hopes he would hit her or something which he kept his calm the whole time and called the cops. In which we didn't charge her but should have.

Just tired of the bull, she needs to concern herself with her mirsable life and leave us alone. Heaven foribids she finds something to do with her life

DH can file contempt for her

DH can file contempt for her refusing to give him the health card and tell him who the doctor is - if they have shared custody, it would be wise to do that. That way when it comes up in court that he hasn't been told anything about health issues, he can say he filed based on her refusal to give him the name of the doctor.

This stuff is exhausting. DH's ex was very much like this. She ended up alienating SS for over 3 years. It was only then that I could really step back and stop caring.

Oh, and my nephew was super-short up until 16, now he's almost 18 and he's 5'10 (the last time I saw him).

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Narcissist causing stress