Could Be a Trap
So I called it off because I've had enough drama and bulls*** from my SO and his daughter (15). She has been a Trainwreck from the day I met her and once again she is in trouble. This time she got caught with 2 friends smoking weed at home. Of course she had loads of excuses, but the long and short of it is...he finally sees there are huge problems. I washed my hands of it but he is suddenly sorry and wants to work everything out. The problem is, she plays him like a fiddle and when I decided I had had enough I told him this and gave some examples. All if the sudden, i'm not just a mean person trying to pick on his poor innocent (laugh out loud) daughter. So he suggested we sit down with BM and SD and talk some of this out. Trap? I think so, but honestly at this point I don't really care about saving a relationship that is nothing but drama and pain. Should I sit down with them or is this a recipe for disaster? PLEASE HELP!!!
- Jeanied123's blog
- Log in or register to post comments
Comments
Nuts Indeed
Yeah, that was my thought. What a ridiculous request.
Yeah, that has 3 of them
Yeah, that has 3 of them ganging up on you written all over it!
True
I agree and appreciate the conviction, I just needed a little backup. Thank you all!
She is not your problem.
With you not there the 3 of them will eventually have to stop blaming you and deal with the real problems. If you are there ... well ... what a great diversion. For their sake...don't go.
Sit down with BM so the 2 of
Sit down with BM so the 2 of them can gang up on you because he knows she will agree with him?? No no way. I would be furious at him for even suggesting that. The only thing more infuriating then getting ganged up on would be to get ganged up on by YOUR husband with his EX backing up and probably gloating that he's on her side.
Yea... after I left my
Yea... after I left my formerSO he was FINALLY ready to start parenting his rotten feral son and thought I should be SO HAPPY and move on back into that hell .
NOPE. It was so bad a packed my stuff and left. After discussing, discussing, begging, pleading for changes and nothing ever came of it. Well, except trying to manipulate and guilt ME into thinking I was wrong.
And even while he was trying to con(vince) me into moving back there were undertones of me being wrong, or I misunderstood, or maybe I had PPD, or lots of different things pointing back to it being ME that was "in the wrong" ...... I knew if I moved back things would slide back to the same old hell I escaped. And then it would be even MORE difficult to leave.
Needleas to say, I did NOT go back.
Girl, do NOT look back. Nice he is FINALLY willing to do something, hell, even listen to you...but it took you LEAVING to come to that conclusion? He now sees the light? Ok.
Seriously. Stay gone.
I would respond with, “I get
I would respond with, “I get that you’re sorry for blaming me then finding out that I was right, but I’m until you can become a solid parent to stand on your own then I don’t want any part of it. It’s not my job to make sure she’s a decent human being but even when I tried I got shit on and I’m not choosing that for myself again.”
Extremely Appreciative
A moment of weakness on my part because he finally stopped to think about what I've been telling him. However, like many of you said he created the problem,it's not my job to fix it.
My only reply
My only reply at this point would be "how is any of this my problem?" You are broken up because he was a crap parent and living with him and his kid was horrible. What part of that does he not understand? He really thinks a meeting where he, the skid, and BM tell you how rotten a person you are will make you see the light and come running back? He must have been dropped on his head as a child.
If he needs an outsider (and
If he needs an outsider (and you are, simply because you are not her parent) tell him to hire a counselor. This is SO much not your circus....
SD needs a talking to by DH
NOT a family meeting.