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Moving on from our Court Despair

justmakingthebest's picture

Submitted by justmakingthebest on Fri, 05/31/2019 - 9:38am

DH and I are still standing strong that we are only doing this one last fight. Our issue is this last fight is has now been 4 hearings that just keep getting continued.

GAL was ordered for an updated report. Since the last GAL report in Feb., so much as happened:

  • New medical info- including SS being cleared of everything but EDS
  • EDS being primarily diagnosed on his dislocations- where BM told the doctor they happened at basketball practice. However, we have emails from the principle of the school saying that she has spoken to the coach and it never happened.
  • Finding out that BM told SS's brother and father and SM that she had an RO against DH. We don't know if SS thinks that there is one.
  • The contempt for Spring Break in which she was explicitly told by the GAL to put SS on the cruise ship.
  • BM already telling DH that she isn't sending him for summer even though the judge stated that current orders stand and we do have transcripts of the judge stating the exact dates for summer visitation. Even if her lawyer never did what he was supposed to with the journal entry to make it an order. (Our lawyer was ordered to do the entry for this hearing and he is writing it to include the summer dates so they are on file). Before our next hearing we will have another contempt charge against her.
  • DH still hasn't spoken to SS other than 2 minutes after this joke of a hearing
  • SS has told SIL that he won't be at her wedding next week. 
  • SS still has all of DH's family blocked on his cell and all social media.

The GAL told our lawyer that he would recommend a flip if BM didn't send him for spring break. Let's hope he holds true to what he said. I am just so ready for this to have an ending. We have scheduled a 2 day hearing for the next one in July. I am just praying that it will be the end. 

Comments

tog redux's picture

Submitted by tog redux on Fri, 05/31/2019 - 9:55am

Decide it will be the end - one way or the other.  With court, it's hard to know when to quit, because it always feels like if you just try one more time ...

Just decide now that this hearing is the end of the line - anything after this will be dropped or settled.

Believe me I know how hard it is.  I hope our story is evidence that it can work out OK to let go of the rope. 

Notup4it's picture

Submitted by Notup4it on Fri, 05/31/2019 - 12:46pm

This was exactly what we had to do. We actually went back I think 5 more times though from the time we had picked that we were done.  It is so hard to draw that like, you always have this “ok.... just one more time!”.  It was just that we got to the point where we realized we had spent years saying “one more time”-  I honestly don’t think we would have ever resolved it before the kids would have been adults. 

tog redux's picture

Submitted by tog redux on Fri, 05/31/2019 - 1:12pm

Yeah, it's almost like playing a scratch off card - "Maybe if we go ONE MORE TIME, this time the judge will get it right."  He/she won't. They never will because a HC BM is always going to have an advantage in court, if for no other reason than they do not care who they have to hurt to win, including their own children.  You can't match that and don't want to try. 

--figureditout--'s picture

Submitted by --figureditout-- on Fri, 05/31/2019 - 10:35am

This is how my DH got custody of his daughter.  I hope things go in your favor...that poor kid 

oneoffour's picture

Submitted by oneoffour on Fri, 05/31/2019 - 11:58am

Oh how I wish there was a half way house for kids like these. They can get de-programmed and become normal obnoxious children rather than mommy-dependent robots.

If she is destroying her son then all you can do is be wary when he does get back in contact. I hope this all is resolved. I really do.

MommyT's picture

Submitted by MommyT on Fri, 05/31/2019 - 1:20pm

I hear so many negative court stories and seriously it is bs. Why are they continuing anything? The BM is not following an order, she needs to hand over her kid on said days or she should lose custody because she is obviously not doing what is best for the child. All this shows is that the courts have minimal power because they set u these orders that people choose not to follow. Bs 

Notup4it's picture

Submitted by Notup4it on Fri, 05/31/2019 - 5:17pm

Yep!! I would have NEVER in a million years believed it if I didnt see it first hand!! Things that are BEYOND common sense get muffled in court.... “Oh I know you haven’t seen your own child in over a year for no reason and that mom isn’t allowing it... But come back and see us in 6 months so we can tell you the same thing”.  It is actually mind blowing! 

advice.only2's picture

Submitted by advice.only2 on Fri, 05/31/2019 - 7:20pm

I never believed it either until DH was having to go back to court every three months for two years to prove he was the better parent.  Meth mouth kept getting arrested, failing drug tests....courts did not care.  Every three months they would give her more time back and find some reason to admonish DH.

Thumper's picture

Submitted by Thumper on Tue, 06/11/2019 - 4:00pm

Its all about churning the case...$$$$$$$$

Very sad indeed.

JMTB--Since GALS reported that he recommended a change of custody, right then and there at this hearing IF the Judge valued and agreed with GALs findings, custody should have been modified.

It is doubtful at the age of the teen,  a Judge will force custody change. UNLESS mom was in the clinker.

I would be very surprised, very VERY surprised.