All of the work, none of the credit
I am so tired of the notion that you cant be exhausted if you're not a bio parent. The level of exhaustion I feel at any given week compared to some parents I know of is palpable. I work my fucking ass off. And to be contrasted against someone who completely sets the women's movement back 100 years by being 3000% codependent on her father and childs father. Someone who thinks they are too good for work and that some sap will whisk her off her feet and take care of her forever. I feel incredibly resentful that I am working 2 jobs, furthering my education, part time raising her son, keeping my relationship spicy, and being one of the active caregivers to my mother recovering from cancer...meanwhile theres is a succubus lurking around in the background of my life - consuming and wasting resources, doing the bare minimum as a human and a parent. And has the audacity to continue to assume herself in my husband's life as if she has any right or say into what goes on in this house. Take your fucking money and go, please. Some of us have to do more than pop a baby out to make gains in this life. Anyfuckingway.
Context really doesnt matter, the details are dumb and insignificant. I just needed to get this off my chest.
Sorry you are feeling
Sorry you are feeling unappreciated. But..the person who needs to be making you feel appreciated is.... your SO.
BM doesn't owe you thanks for taking care of her kids on her Exes custody time. That is her Exes' responsibility.. if you do it FOR him.. you are doing HIM a favor.
Kid should be grateful for extras that you do.. but if we all think back.. how thankful did we act towards our parents for putting a meal on the table.. paying the mortgage etc? We didn't.. kid's expect their parents to meet these needs for them.. and if you are helping your SO meet these needs??? you are taking a load off of him.
Now, don't get me wrong.. as adults, both my SD's realize that I pitched in.. and didn't have to.. and didn't kill them..lol... but growing up.. thankfulness for every little thing? nope. not beyond the typical please/thank you manners we tried to instill in them.
If you don't want to do all those things for "her kid".. don't... let your SO take on the responsibility for his child. Let him shoulder that financial burden. just concentrate on yourself. You sound pretty stressed.. and maybe you need to take care of YOUR needs for a bit?
If you are feeling this way,
If you are feeling this way, I recommend disengaging. It sounds like no one is appreciative of all the things you do for your SS so why continue doing things that only stress you out? It sounds like you have plenty of other things going on and this is something you can actually cut out.
Being a stepparent IS exhausting. I was a SM before I had my BD and things are MUCH easier with my BD. You don't have half the amount of bs to deal with as you do with stepparenting. I feel your pain!
SweetPotato~ I hear you!
SweetPotato~ I hear you!
I feel you so hard on that
I feel you so hard on that one.
Edit
Maybe context is important haha. Thank you all for the supportive words. I have had to miss out on some work this month due to my mothers reconstructive surgery recovery and yesterday I was realizing what bills I would be short on. Dh pays BM twice a month for child support (1/2 and 1/2 so not everything is hitting our household at once) and this week I cannot ask for financial help on where I am short. Because of my previous marriage, I am a little sensitive about money and being "taken care of"... so the bitterness hit me real hard just knowing this person I cannot stand receives all the help in the world for simply being a single "mother" meanwhile I am busting my ass for scraps this month.
Call it jealousy maybe but sometimes I wish I was a spoiled little princess who can connive people into supporting me lol.
Trust me when I say I am very emotionally and mentally supported by DH. These are not feelings or resentments that he is unaware of. He works from home so house is always clean, baths drawn for me when I get home..etc. He is considerate at least but sometimes my role piles up and I am stretched thin. Thanks for listening. I feel a lot better with a full nights sleep under my belt lol