If you left, stay gone and do not return back to that toxic dynamic unless your H is willing to go to therapy and fix your marriage. He's not respectful or appreciative of all that you do and have to offer. I'd completely remove myself from doing anything for him & his kids and just take care of mine. He's blaming you about finances but what the heck is he doing to pull his weight with the kids??? It's easier to blame you instead of reflecting on himself and how poorly he is parenting. He should have asked the step kids to acknowledge you and he should have always had your back instead of playing victim. Let him man up and leave him to his own mess. Allow him and BM to figure it out, you have your own stuff to worry about.

Take care of you MomOfTwo and don't sacrifice your well being and happiness for someone who takes you for granted.

“What did you do all day” because it appears nothing was done or “you lost a big account for the business because of your patheticness” which is basically what this man said, “i’d calmly say you’ll find out tomorrow”, tomorrow don’t do anything for skids. Let dirty laundry pile up, mess everywhere, tell the kids to help themselves to food and drink, you read a book or sleep, its your relaxing day.

hubby comes home and its like a friggin tsunami and he asks what did you do all day? This is when you say “oh nothing just read a book. Next time never complain i do nothing or that i lost a big account for the business because what happened today, never would happen when i’m busy doing everything so how about you step up and be a parent to your kids. 

Woman this man should have long ago been delegated stuff to be done. This is what i did when pregnant with my 2nd, hubby did laundry if not done meaning start a load in washing machine or hang it on clothes line, he might iron and he did kitty litter and empty trash...

i refused to do it and I didn’t give him an option “oh hubby could you do this” because he’d see that as an option where he can ignore me or say no. He was told do this or there will be no clean laundry for you. If he refused to step up and pissed me off or disrespected me, he knew full well because he’d come home to his laundry not being done but mine and our 2 toddlers. He knew he was in deep shit because asking politely tends to not get results. I hate doing this passive aggressive thing but it delivers results better and once he’s learned, he usually never does it again, he may slip up but i remind him i need his help. 

I’m studying for my degree currently so i need hubbys help even more than usual so he needs to step up. Because me finishing my degree allowa us to have a buffer later on with the 2nd income... so it benefits him..

there was a meme or pic online with the story i gave above how her husband came home to broken glass everywhere and he thought home was robbed and kids were running on front yard and wife calm as can be in bedroom reading a book. This was because the day before her husband said “being a sahm isn’t work and so easy, what do you do anyway, basically nothing”

never again did he make a stupid comment like that again

Stay gone. They're only asking where you are because things have fallen apart at home and things aren't being done for them. They've been completely unappreciative. I get them being excited about contact from BM but the least they could do is show you an ounce of appreciation for helping take care of them. 

Stay gone. File for divorce. You deserve more than to be someone unpaid nanny and cleaning lady. 

Don’t go back. You DH has a history of being abusive. 

Get gone and stay gone 

Please stay gone and talk to a lawyer. Your husband is abusive. Don't fall for whatever bs he or his kids use to get you back. You and your kids will eventually be happier elsewhere.