You are here

My Stepson and his fiance have violated these boards and read my posts!

Not-the-mom's picture

I haven't posted for several weeks, but after what happened last night, I am MAD AS HELL and feel VIOLATED!

Last night I found out that my DH's son and his fiance are mad at me because I have been posting my feelings and frustrations here, and asking for advice here on this Step-parent support group forum.

They kept bringing up things I had said "online" that they didn't like, and I realized that the things they were speaking about were the things I had ONLY posted here on this forum! :O

I turns out they had decided to "investigate" what I have been saying online. They somehow figured out I was on these boards, and figured out my annonymous name and profle, and they were reading my posts! Then after violating my privacy in this way - they have the GALL to be upset with ME about what I have shared here!!! :jawdrop:

I have not used their names, or called them names, or said or done anything worse than anyone else here on these boards, but they feel they have the right to try and control what I say here about my frustrations of being a step-parent, and having to deal with my DH's ex.

If my step-son and his fiance are reading this post SHAME ON YOU!!!

Has anyone else experienced this? How do I handle it? I kept telling them they have been "stalking me" and that any complaints they have about what I have shared on these boards is THEIR PROBLEM!! If they are going to stalk me, and read my posts here, they do NOT deserve an apology from me for what I have said here!
This is MY place to come as a step-parent and get support and advice and to blow off steam! They had no place violating my space!

My DH and his son are going to talk, and try to resolve other issues that are behind all of this - but I am still MAD AS HELL!!

How would you deal with this?

Has this ever happened here before?

smileygirl's picture

It has happened to me with BM and my Private FB account but unlike you DH didn't support me in it. He freaked out on me and wanted me to hide like he does. There wasn't much I could do. He calmed down as it sunk in that it was BM who was the jerk in this situation not me but that didn't take he sting out for either of us really. I un-friended the person she originally gained access through and kind of did what you did. Posted a message specifically for her advising her that she was a lunatic and that I wouldn't hide from her like she wanted. I think the saying is...sometimes the best revenge is living...

I'm sorry they have violated you in such a way but as long as DH is on your side, that's their problem if it makes them unhappy. Screw them. If it bothers you too much...you could always setup a new user account and guard your PC like it's made of gold so they can't get the info. again. I'm sorry...

herewegoagain's picture

Nope, not that I know of. Then again, maybe the idiot does check this...who knows. I could care less since I no longer have to see any of them.

Sorry you are going through this. It's crazy they can say/do anything to your face and you are to smile, yet you can't even vent to others who don't know them so that you can feel better without them making a fuss...ridiculous.

cant win for losin's picture

After my inital shock and anger i would post shit to really give them something to read!!!!!!
I have ALWAYS told my hubby, dont read my diary if you dont want the brutal truth on how i feel!
I make no apologizes for how i feel, only my actions!

So give them some juicy stuff to read! LOL

Leilene's picture

I just can’t believe the blatant disregard for this grown woman’s privacy. They act as if she was supposed to take the demeanor of a child who had been caught red handed mispleasing them. If they would do something as nasty and careless as violate then spread her private thoughts, should they really wonder why they are disliked? And the fiancé is a fool for being a dramatic addition to the family before even becoming apart of the family. She just sounded off a warning alarm to all other family members about what kind of addition she’ll be 

BSgoinon's picture

Happened to me. My stepmom found me on here. She was the reason I posted originally about 6 years ago. She emailed one of my posts to my entire family. She and my dad split up shortly after that. To all of it, I say... OH WELL. It was no secret that she is disliked in our family. Altough, I did out my dad having started a relationship with my new SM prior to them breaking up... whoops, sorry dad.

jojo68's picture

Be careful with computer history...it would be about the only way that a person could truly tie you to being on here and a person searching through computer history is usually nothing but a trouble making busy body. JMHO

Auteur's picture

GG (biodad I live with) blew his stack b/c I was personally EMAILING a fellow STalker with a similar situation. He didn't even discover this site but came close to it. I didn't use names or anything even in my email!

Now imagine if he knew about this site!!! He got physically abusive over a couple of EMAILS, never mind posting on an internet site!!!!

He rushed to the defense of the Behemoth, his ex-Mil (the Wookie) and of course his three precious "angels." Basically telling me that if he ever caught me blogging about his "past" that I would turn up "missing."

smileygirl's picture

I personally NEVER mentioned DH, SS's or BM on my FB. Only DS and I. That's actually what enraged BM and setoff a huge arugement in my home regarding my rights vs. hers. Simply, it's like everything else. We can do no right and they can do no wrong. Bend over kiss their little (or Huge) butts and apologize for whatever you may have done...such as daring to breath their air.

Not-the-mom's picture

THANK YOU ALL for your posts. It helps me settle down, and know that I am not alone!

They have absolutely NO access in ANY way to our computer, they just went MINING for information, and unfortunately found it! They need to get married, have some kids of their own - that will keep them busy, and out of my business! Wink

So be it! If they want to see how their immature, self-centered, infantile behavior gets on my nerves, they can read it all here! Smile

They kept claiming throught the whole conversation/argument that they were MATURE! :O That shows you how clueless they are.

I should probably give them some slack, they are under 25 years old, and their brains haven't finished developing yet. Hopefully, in a couple of years, their sense of DECENCY will kick in! Sad

One big villain in all of this is YAHOO! Because they had my email address, and their email address was also on Yahoo, Yahoo felt it was a good idea to shoot them notices of every post I made on YahooAnswers.com. I had mentioned that I was looking for a good step-parent support group online, and they took that information and ran with it. I had NO IDEA that they were getting these notices from Yahoo every time I posted something on YahooAnswers.com! And computers are supposed to be making our lives better? Blum 3

Thanks again for your input and insight! As usual it helps. Dirol

When will the insanity end? It's a trick question. Biggrin

Jsmom's picture

Change your setting on Yahoo and get a GMAIL account. Keep them as far away as possible. I would even change my name on here. You need to have a safe place to vent and they should not be able to use it against you. I vent on here so I don't do something really bad to our BM and SD...DH knows about it and is fine with it. He doesn't know my name or come on here, he wouldn't dare.

I have a Yahoo business email and am seriously wondering what info they are providing people...Thanks for the heads up on how it happened...

If your step and his fiance are reading this...If you weren't doing anything wrong your stepmom wouldn't have to come on here to VENT about you....Now go away and be glad she does it here and not in your face.

stepgin's picture

Like most people on this site, I only post the truth of my situation without mentioning names. However, if my s-adults (and I use the term loosely) ever figured out who I was and read my posts and had the balls to confront me, I'd say fine!!!! Bring it on!!! I don't lie but I'm sure that they wouldn't like what said about them. But, hey, at this point I could give a tiny rat's ass what they think. If they grew up a little and quit expecting their daddy to take care of everything, I wouldn't have anything to complain about.
I say stick to your guns and DO NOT APOLOGIZE to your SS and his fiance. They don't deserve it. Just say, the truth hurts, doesn't it. Imagine how hurt you would be if I posted things about you here or on fakebook that wasn't true...
Glad to hear your DH has your back. That would NEVER happen in my case.

Boudicca's picture

I really wouldn't care if my SD or DH read my posts and knew it was me. I'm with cantwin and stepgin on this. You have not mentioned any names and you have used a name different than your own. If they don't like what they see then tough - maybe it will give their sorry little butts something to think about!

Not-the-mom's picture

I realize these boards are public, but unlike Facebook, where you have your photo, and bio and a list of links to friends, here you are attempting to be anonymous, and use a fake name, and no real photograph of yourself.

They spent a good deal of time trying to find me, and so it shows how desperate they are to see what I am saying, and then try and control it! How crazy is that?

Then, they take their discovery and tell others! "Come and share in our spying with us"! - is basically what they have done.

My stepsons mother is a master of manipulation and controlling people through devious means. It appears my DH's kids have taken after her! She is so devious about how she manipulates people, they don't even realize they are being manipulated. Very passive-aggressive. From what my step-son said, and what his sister has said and done in the past, they both seem to have learned this technique also - but they haven't quite mastered it yet. They are unable to see how twisted it is. Brained washed is what they are.

Thanks again for the input.

Not-the-mom's picture

Dear StepAside.....you took the words right out of my mouth!

I will NOT be changing my screen name, and if they all want to look and see what I have to say, so be it!! It shows how lacking in social, emotional and intellectual morals they all are!!

I KNOW for a fact that they run to each other the "tattle" on me - what I said here, etc.... GROW UP!! And I am pretty darn sure the EX is in on it also - or at least receiving the information the kids lay at her feet about me. GET A LIFE!!

I am not embarassed nor mortified - I am outraged and their audacity to do what they did! Yet....they keep repeatedly claiming they are so MATURE! They are definitely NOT even close to emotionally mature - and their actions show this.

Thanks again for your input. I hope this conversation helps others in this same position - of being spied upon.

still learning's picture

I hear you, and the entire situation says more about the snoopers who are invading your privacy and tattling than it does you.  It may be worth considering creating another account and scramble the information to keep things anonymous, that way you can really vent.  At the same time you could keep this account as is and let them have their way with it.  Maybe they'll get tired of reading about how immature they are and focus on their own lives.  

Leilene's picture

If they find that level of blatant, selfish disregard and entitled invasion of privacy acceptable, they’ll probably give another a miserable marriage experience and end back up here posting as users themselves.  

There is a light's picture

I could care less if my SD34 and his girlfriend sees my posts!

Worry not, there are too many stresses in life to be concerned with such trivial matters.   

Rags's picture

The truth hurts. Keep baring their asses. If they want to read about their toxic bullshit... let them wallow in the recounting of their stench.

ldvilen's picture

Heck, it'd be a dream for me if my SKs found my posts!  No reason to pretend they found them accidentally on purpose.

Suemm44's picture

Well, just stick to it say idk maybe you found a person going through same scenario. I don’t what you are referring to but whatever . That’s probably what I’ll say if ever they find out.

you need someone to talk to about the things happening we can relate to. 

 

I told my dh dh everything I ever wrote here and I told him where I post. He doesn’t have a problem me trying to deal not only with my hcbd but his crazy clan. Wink

Ispofacto's picture

Honestly, I wouldn't give a rat's arse.

It's difficult to troll someone who doesn't care about much of anything.  

They wouldn't get the opportunity to confront me about it, and I refuse to argue with idiots about anything.

 

soccermom830's picture

yes, who cares?!  at least they know how you truly feel then.  shouldn't be a surprise to them!

still learning's picture

Everything I post is real, though the genders, ages and logistics are switched up to ensure anonymity.  If skids or DH did approach me about any posts on the site I'd say, "And...?" I'm the one who is on the recieving end of this undeserved crappy behavior from an adult skid that DH is doing nothing about.  

Take the advice of others and clamp down on your security, then discreetly come back with a new profile.

How do you handle it? Dump your fiance's sorry azz. If this is how it is now in the honeymoon and planning phase then just imagine how glorious the marriage will be.  Plenty of fish in the sea honey.  

Sorry they don't have a life and feel the need to snoop on yours.  What losers!!! I hope those sorry sacks are reading this and realize how truly small their behavior is.  

 

CANYOUHELP's picture

I hope mine read it ... they certainly deserve to know the misery they bring to others; nobody else has ever corrected them.