Haha! The 15 year old can go to counseling to find out why she lies, steal, and manipulates, but I would have better things to do with my time.

And really, I just dare my husband to suggest that I go to counseling with his daughter, as if I am the problem.

If his daughter does want a relationship with you, counseling might work for her to figure out why she keeps sabotaging that. Then, maybe at a later time, if it would benefit everyone for you to sit in on a session, that would be different.

At the request of my SD's therapist, I went for one session. She was 16. My husband (SO at the time) asked me to. I warned him that it wasn't going to be pretty and that I wasn't going to hold back from speaking the truth about the situation. He understood, so I went. It was not pretty or fun, but at the end of the day it was super cathartic for me. And it actually did help us mend our extremely fractured relationship. 

I am planning on being involved in my SS's therapy when he comes here this summer. 

What does your SD say when therapy is suggested? That would probably be my deciding factor.... If she is playing daddeeee like a fiddle and saying that she wants you two to have a good relationship, I would totally play along. I would make sure that DH is there and just have a notebook with notes of all the lies, stolen items, disrespect, etc. and lay it all out and ask the therapist how to trust and have a relationship with someone who does nothing but betray any ounce of anything you give her? Say that you can't just move forward and forget all of the things she has done. 

"Sure DH, I'm happy to go help SD figure out why she feels the need to lie about me to others and what she plans to do to make amends and try to build a relationship with me."

Not sure I would still be married to someone whose solution to his child spreading lies about me would be to put me in therapy with them as if I were part of the problem.

I went because it was my idea. I found a piece of paper where SD had written all over it stating that she wanted to die. So I went with DH and SD. We met first as a family and then SD went solo. I knew even before we went that SD probably wouldn't open up to the therapist but because of the note I felt we needed to be proactive. It was a cry for attention. SD went I think twice after that and then told GMA how much she hated the therapist who then told DH, so we never went back.

I agree with ybarra357. 

This is just another way he is putting HIS responsibility as a parent onto you. 

Not ok. He is basically saying whatever is wrong with HIS daughter is YOUR fault. That is not the case. 

Unless you're an evil stepmom, which I haven't seen any indication, it is HIS job to fix the relationship between you two if he wants it to work. HE is the common thread between you and your stepdaughter. HE needs to figure out what's going on and what the best way to resolve it is. And that is NOT sending the two of you to therapy. 

The counsellor will be used to manipulative children. I would go . It might help the child see what they are doing.

Wilhem dont be so sure that therpist CAN NOT be manipulated by kids and or their parents. Some cases a therpist can be very manipulated by kids AND a parent.

nope - I would NEVER do this.  Nope, nope, nope, nope. 

Did I mention nope?