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justmakingthebest's picture

We got back in town Saturday after the most AMAZING trip! We posted about 1,000 pictures. Had the best time.

I AM SOOOO PROUD OF DH! He did not wallow in the fact that SS was not there. He did not even mention it but one or 2 times and the comments were "SS is really going to regret not seeing this one day". He/ We/ The other 3 had a blast!  Totally lived in the moment, laughed, loved, and experienced everything we could. 

We did see a post about SS's spring break yesterday. It was almost comical. He went to AZ with his grandparents. He posted that it was the best spring break of his life. There were a few pictures taken from a car window- Hot air balloons landing (he did not ride, just saw them land), a road runner, and just some other randoms. He went 2-3 places that I can't even remember right now. Nothing of any historical or sightseeing significance though. So that was cute. He tried to get in a jab at his dad... even DH just rolled his eyes and said  he missed our trip for this crap?? LOL 

Now we wait for the next hearing. GAL has confirmed again with our attorney that he will testify for us and fully support a custody flip. 

We are renters (DH is military and we weren't planning on staying here for more than 3 years). I guess I need to start looking for a 5 bedroom. There is no way that SS18 with all his issues can share a room and DH and I agree that we wouldn't subject BS13 to SS14's antics and behavior in a shared room. It was one thing when it was peaceful with him being with us for a few weeks ay year when stars aligned and my Bio's and SS were at our house at the same time for a few weeks a year (up until last summer and he hasn't been back since) but now with all of this... We will have to get a bigger place if we "win" in court. 

My mom spoke to DH and I about her concerns bringing SS to live with us. She said expect some serious hate and probably a run a way or 2. DH said great, hope he like Juvie because the court is going to give SS to me based on the fact that his mother can't parent and he is out of control. I will throw his azz in so fast his head will spin. My mom nodded in approval and said good. Tough is what he needs if he acts out. 

I wish we could find out the date of court soon... This part sucks.  I really don't know what I want the outcome to be. Would it be great to get reimbursed and BM have some serious smack down and warned that if it happens again she WILL go to jail and she WILL lose custody? YEP!! Do I actually want SS to live with us?? I don't know... I really don't. I guess until we can actually speak to him and have time with his away from BM's influence and break down those walls and the brain washing I won't know. The only thing I know for sure is that therapy is going to be a MUST for all involved no matter the outcome. 

Comments

tog redux's picture

Glad you had a good vacation.

Don't count your chickens before they are hatched as far as a custody flip goes. A lot can happen - BM can raise new concerns that have to be investigated, SS can threaten to kill himself if he has to come live with you, etc. etc. 

ndc's picture

That sounds like a fabulous vacation. I'm glad you had a great time and that your DH enjoyed his time with the family members who were there rather than focusing on the one who wasn't.

Your H seems to have gotten screwed in court every time, so I imagine he'll get screwed again. That might be for the best as far as you and the rest of the family are concerned, though.

ProbablyAlreadyInsane's picture

I dunno if a custody flip really is going to be the best idea for you. I honestly don't care about SS's or BM's feelings right now. They're acting like peices of s***. The only thing I'm really worried about. You and your DH are dealing with quite a bit already. But you've found a pretty good balance minus SS. I get that your DH loves his son. I just worry about it disrupting not just your own, but also your kiddo's lives. 

If it works out there is DEFINITELY going to be an adjustment period. I really do hope it all goes smoothly. I just worry that it's just going to add stress to your DH and yourself and not actually solve anything.

TrueNorth77's picture

I agree, I'm sooo leery of a custody switch for you! I just feel like the chances of it all going south are wayy higher than they are of it working out ok. You will be taking the brunt of this when your DH gets shipped out- Step life is so hard under the best of conditions, but under the worst? I can't even imagine. I don't think I could do it. I really hope things work out for the best for you and DH.

Glad you had a great vacation, I am so jealous! I have been itching for a warm tropical vacay!

justmakingthebest's picture

I am not counting anything before they hatch! I totally know how much DH has been screwed in court. All I am really hoping for (and actually believe is possible) is the reimbursement and a good threatening by the judge for BM. Maybe, if we are lucky, she will be soley responsible for the GAL fees as well at this point! 

I am not sure that even if the GAL recommends it the judge will follow. BM hasn't abused him in anyway that is physically. We have all the proof in the world for the false medical... maybe the judge will give DH primary power there or something.... I don't know! I really don't think I would want a monster that BM created coming to live with us. I know DH loves his son and I will back him, but I think I really just want visitation to be concrete, OFW to be a must, and if BM acts like this again- a weekend in jail sounds just right!

Harry's picture

You really want to add SS to the mix and screw up your family.  I am sure if SS went on the cruise, it would of been one problem after another. He was not there and all had fun.  Your SS can screw up the whole family dynamics.  Your kids don’t need someone always doing crap just to do crap.