Update to "the kid smells"
Per DH he had a conversation with BM when he dropped off some kid stuff. He asked her in front of the kids if she has as hard a time getting them to shower and do basic hygiene as he does at our house. She said yes and indicated that she has an especially hard time with OSS.
...and that was it. DH said he did it "publicly" to embarass them. I hate to tell DH but those kids are not embarassed. Mad, maybe, that it was brought up but not embarassed. And was that public? It was inside a house with just the "first family" present.
DH tells me he has a plan but won't tell what it is. He's also really crabby now which is just so much fun. This issue is definitely not resolved and I'm guessing he doesn't have a solid plan so I get the repercussions of his anger and anxiety.
Some mentioned in my last post that they don't say anything about the skids. And I try not to, I really do. I notice all the time that they don't brush their teeth and since I haven't had to be so close that they would breath right on me, I have no reason to mention it. The problem is that even without mentioning things, I still "get to" be with the crabby DH who finally cottons on to what is happening/not happening, then realizes how long it has been that way, and is frustrated with them/himself but lets me be the scapegoat for his feelings.
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DH tells me he has a plan but
DH tells me he has a plan but won't tell what it is.
That means he has NO idea what he's going to do and is still trying to find a solution...
Ding, Ding!
And right away we have a winner!
It came out later that he is formulating a plan. The basis of which turns out to be my suggestion of riding the kids butt. Though it has been tried before and because DH forgets and “doesn’t want to be mean” (tm) it never lasted.
"DH there is nothing less
"DH there is nothing less sexy than a man who gets angry at a woman just because his kid can't learn to wash himself properly!"
Right?! But don't you know it
Right?! But don't you know it is SM fault...? She didn't teach them, she should have said something sooner. If she only loooooooved them!
*eye roll*
Yeahhhhh, I get it! Same
Yeahhhhh, I get it! Same thing experienced here. Talking with BM will not do a thing. And if DH gets like that, I let him get like that. So long as he's not crabby to me (Hey, DH, that was not nice, if you are in a bad mood, why don't you go watch your show or read your book and I'll do my thing for now...) I let him stew. I've learned to not ask questions when I think it involves SDs (there's a certain 'mood' that is a give-away). I get moody sometimes and he gives me space so I just do the same.
Oh it’s not just skid related
He is skilled at lashing out over non related, no conflict things.
I don't get it. If my mother
I don't get it. If my mother told me to get in the shower and gave me a look, off I went. If my DH told my SS to get in the shower and gave him a look, off he went and took a shower.
These two parents "can't get" their kids to bathe? How about tell them they aren't touching their phones, tablets, computers, TVs or anything else until they smell like roses. Isn't it basic parenting to get your kids to do basic things like hygiene?
But, but then the darling
But, but then the darling child would be upset! They'd maybe cry and yell and throw a tantrum. And that would be very damaging to their psyche. They are just kids after all....
Lol....
Lol....
That would drive me up a
That would drive me up a flipping tree. I'm so glad DH is not one of those weak and spineless Disney parents.
My friends live in a neighborhood where the kids play out in the front yards together. When it's time to come home, my friend calls her kids and in the house they go. One of the neighbors asked her "how she gets the kids to come in at night so easily". Seriously? It's called parenting. It's called, they know they are in trouble if they don't come in, so they come in.
What is wrong with these people? How can they not see they are neglecting their duties as parents?
No, they do not see they are
No, they do not see they are neglecting duties. They see themselves as good parents.
Even when their kids are rude
Even when their kids are rude, smelly brats who don't do the basic things that kids their age can do? How do they not see that?
I just don't get it.
I do not get it either and it
I do not get it either and it was painful (and annoying) to watch.
Part of it I think comes from a skewed sense of protecting them and making them happy. But it is done in such a... IMO wrong way that instead of helping or doing good, it is crippling and stunting.
Yes, exactly. They cripple
Yes, exactly. They cripple their kids while patting themselves on the back for being such good parents. It’s so selfish, and it baffles me.
It’s amazing...
It’s amazing how the permissive dads are so confused as to why their kids don’t do as instructed. Very simple. No consequences. And then the rest of us have to be subjected to their poor hygiene. Hygiene is not just a personal matter; its a social matter as well. You have an obligation to others in society to not walk around with a funk cloud permeating from you. And as a parent I would think you would be embarrassed of a smelly kid as it’s a reflection on you. But hey, inflicting consequences is just too hard.
And you are painting a target
And you are painting a target on your kid's back, while crippling them in terms of ever becoming normal, functioning adults. But god forbid the kids are mad at you for 10 minutes because you made them shower.