I’m at a loss for what to do.

Ive been having issues with my SD27 for years mainly since her son was born but even more so since her dad and I got together. She’s super clingy to DH and will call in the middle of the night for anxiety attacks and is a major hypochondriac so she needs DH to comfort her constantly even though she has her own DH. I have 3 other SSs and have very small minor issues that are few and far between with them but SD is jealous of them, their wives, me and my 2DDs and anyone else who is close to DH. She gets angry at all of us for reasons we don’t even know and will hi crying to DH. I finally broke down to DH and told him she makes me uncomfortable and she puts me in a bad spot with the rest of the kids because she wants DH all to herself so I have to tell them they can’t visit if I know she’s coming and of course when she’s here it’s all about her and DH has to focus on her 100% or she starts having panic attacks. She also lets her son run wild and scream and break things and she gets mad at anyone who disciplines him even though she won’t. 

So DH said he understands how I feel but usually defends her and says he doesn’t know why she’s so jealous but she just is and he can’t change it and he says he will start talking to her about her son but never does.

Now my DH has an issue with my DD18 which I feel is retaliation for me having issues with SD27. DD18 has no relationship with her BD she’s working full time and yes she still lives with us because she makes minimum wage in a place where rent is way more than she can afford, but I’ve encouraged her to move out because she should start thinking about it. However now everything she does bothers DH even though she’s hardly home and sometimes he says things to her and she responds like a teenager by saying she already knows that and she’s not stupid etc.. etc..., and DH thinks it’s unacceptable for her to talk to him that way even though she considers him her dad and talks to him like a teenager would. I’m not at all saying it’s accetable for her to talk to him this way and I usually tell her to knock it off and she talks to me this way too and I give her the normal “you don’t know everything” lecture but My DH is relentless on wanting to punish her for this now and they haven’t spoken to each other in a few days which has been awkward. I now feel like he won’t be happy until she leaves and she probably feels like I’m choosing him over her, when I’m completely in the middle on the whole thing because i understand both sides.

when I try to talk to my DH and ask him what I can do to help us move on he thinks I want him to apologize to DD which I don’t because I don’t think he did anything wrong but he expectable her to apologize when I don’t feel like she’s really way out of line either so he says I’m defending her shitty behavior which I’m not I just dont see it as major as he does. I have a DD 15 also and she’s way worse than DD18 with attitude but DH gets along with her great.

Again, I think he’s mad that his daughter is kind of a family problem right now so he’s trying to point some blame back at my DD to move the spotlight.

sorry for the rant just not sure what to do to get the peace back to our household. Thanks for reading.