24 yr old SS wont work

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My 24 yr old SS will not get a job or help around the house. Hes never left home or held a job in years.
Wife says shes not ok with this , but she wont do anything about it.
Whenever I bring up the topic, it turns into a fight or she defends SS completely. Wife is disabled , has major health issues and does not work. I am the only source of income. I once told her either he gets a job or I move out, she told me she would help me pack!
I feel like Im being taken advantage of and want to leave, but if i leave she wont be able to survive.

Well, you have to decide when

Well, you have to decide when you are ready to take action.

You can either leave on your own, or you can give your SS notice of eviction and then kick him out. Check your state laws on how much notice you have to give him, and then do it.

If you are the mortgage or lease-holder, then you have the right to evict him, but you do have to give him notice.

At that point, either your wife will go with him, or she will stay. But you can't keep letting fear hold you hostage.

How exactly are your DW and

How exactly are your DW and her deadbeat crotch nugget going to support themselves once she helps you pack?

Sounds to me that it is time to make a big statement. Call a moving company, pack everything in the house up, move it to storage. Cancel all utiliities in your name and go live at the Candlewood Suites for a while. See how well they like that.

My forecast is that SS will be out in about a day or less and your bride will be begging for you to return. BTW, if she can help you pack, why can't she work?

smh.

Call her bluff - Leave.

Call her bluff - Leave. Seriously. Either she realizes she made an error, or you are free. a Win win for you.

Call her bluff. I'm pretty

Call her bluff. I'm pretty sure she'll cave but if not you're better off anyways. You shouldn't be more concerned about her health issues than she is.

Wow,apparently there are many of us.

And,that truly sucks.Im sorry.Im a woman in the same scenario.22 year old stepson who wont get a job or leave or do anything productive unless Im riding his ass.I feel like a hostage.Im pissed off every day.

25 Year Old SS

He's a lazy bum, leeching off his Dad. But I've told my husband I'm not paying for him etc....

What is it with some people these days? Why are some boys so soft! It makes me angry that useless piece of shit mooches off him. Oh but he can play world of warcraft for 12 hours but doesn't have the self respect to get a job.

I feel your pain, honestly. Keep me updated. Right now, I've taken to being passive. We are decorating and SS said he didn't like a colour that I did. So I painted it the colour I liked lol. Honestly when will they learn, you don't pay money you don't get an opinion on MY and MY HUSBANDS HOUSE. Lazy f**k

You are the breadwinner here

So give him a move out date. Let her decide if she stays or if she goes. Don’t leave your own house.

i had exactly the same issue with SD. The straw that broke the camels back was when I pulled favors to get her a job interview and she didn’t turn up. I put a note on her door (b/c she was out partying) and she was out the next day.

Stop this nonsense now.

25 yr old SS wont work

Well, now its been a little over a year and nothing has changed. Im finding it hard to leave as my wife is disabled and cannot survive without me. This COVID thing means im stuck here for a while too. Its her home so I would have to be the one leaving and she will lose the house as well. Theres no calmly talking to her about SS, she gets so defensive and angry at me if I even mention SS name. I havent spoken to SS in the past year, even though we are in the same house. The sight of him disgusts me. I hate being trapped here and being responsible/blamed for everything.

My wife and I are just roommates at this point. We walk on eggshells around each other trying to be careful of every word we speak to each other. Theres nothing here for me. I am so sad about this, i know i have to leave but i will be ruining lives when i decide to finally go. Just needed to rant. thank you

Time for SS-24 to embrace homelessnes

Don't let your DW's disability force you tolerate her coddling of her idiot adult son or to tolerate their collective continued abuse and exploitation of you.

Time to put him on the curb, and inform DW that you love her and will be there for her IF she stays the course on her failed man-child being immediately forced out of the nest. Point out that it is her home and that if she forces your hand you will leave. Noting clearly that she will then lose her home.

Far too many people use disability to manipulate. I won't tolerate it. As a "disabled" person myself, this is a hill I will gladly die on when I see people playing the bullshit "disability" card to manipulate.

When you leave, and IMHO you should leave, you will not be ruining anything. Your STBXW and her idiot spawn have already ruined their lives and your marriage.

Good riddance.

If you refuse to do something about this, nothing will change. Man up, grow a pair, and go live your life. If they crash and burn, that is entirely on them.

Living well is the best revenge. Go seek and live your revenge.