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The double standards never end

Jcksjj's picture

Submitted by Jcksjj on Tue, 01/29/2019 - 5:51pm

We only have one vehicle working essentially due to the extreme cold. DH has a work project he needs to turn in Thursday afternoon. I needed the vehicle tmrw to take my son to his psychiatrist appt that keeps getting rescheduled and theres a few things that need to be addressed asap and he was obviously annoyed by that. SD has a yearly check up Thursday morning that DH had scheduled a year ago. So essentially he would need to leave work 2 days in a row for both appts. Guess which appt was deemed more important and which one was rescheduled? Of course it was SD. And then when he can tell I'm obviously upset but saying nothing he keeps trying to talk to me about it and then when I do he instantly starts in on attack mode like usual saying "he knows what I'm doing" "I'm acting pathetic" etc. I asked what I'm doing and he goes what you always do when you're mad...real descriptive. I was trying to avoid even talking about it any further. 

Both my ODS and our BS are right there. Guess what happens if we fight when SD is there? He panics and says we cant fight in front of her. But when the other kids are there he doesnt care at all.

Comments

dysfunctionally_blended's picture

Submitted by dysfunctionally... on Tue, 01/29/2019 - 6:32pm

Can you Uber to your appointment?

As for the double standard - don't take it. Say NO I will not reschedule my appointment. And I will NOT argue in front of sons. If you don't like it oh well. Maybe it's time to find someone else who will take your shit.

And next time you demean me will be the last time. I will not tolerate anything other than respect. And as my spouse you should WANT to treat me with respect.

If you keep accepting it, it won't change. 

Jcksjj's picture

Submitted by Jcksjj on Tue, 01/29/2019 - 7:27pm

I wish I would have. Ironically they called while we were discussing it to ask if I could go an hour early and I just told them to cancel that one and he would go to the one scheduled already for next week. I'm so irate...the double standard the rest of the time is bad enough but now its affecting his medical appointments...I dont see how I will be able to get over that any time soon

Jcksjj's picture

Submitted by Jcksjj on Wed, 01/30/2019 - 9:27am

I don't intend on backing down this time; unfortunately its turned into a huge ordeal.

Siemprematahari's picture

Submitted by Siemprematahari on Wed, 01/30/2019 - 1:43pm

Your H is making this rescheduling of the appointments harder than it really is. It's like he's already on the defense for no reason.

"But when I asked why I needed to reschedule and not him he got furious at me for suggesting the exact same thing that he had suggested to me regarding my sons appt."

^^^^^^^^When he gets upset you need to call him out on his sh!t ASAP. SD has options of getting to her appointment like her own mother taking her. Your son's appointment is a priority and your H is not being considerate of that. He wants things to go his way and when you try to discuss it he throws a tantrum. This is not a way to solve a problem and he needs to get over himself quick. I wouldn't reschedule sh!t!

Let him know about himself, he's out of line.

Jcksjj's picture

Submitted by Jcksjj on Wed, 01/30/2019 - 1:53pm

That is EXACTLY what is happening is when he is disagreed with he instantly gets defensive and goes into attack mode. Theres not alot of reasoning at that point and the more wintry to discuss the lower the blows get. Also he expects that as soon as he is over something I should be also and gets mad if I'm still visibly upset even if I'm just trying to be alone for a bit and not saying or doing anything about it.