Only a Skid Would Do This
Please tell me if this is normal as my grown children have never done this
Snow day today. DH worked from home so Im not babysitting but kinda stuck in the house with skids home. DH was happy to get an extension to the weekend. Me? Not as much.
So SS12 knowing what happens when you put your tongue on a pole, puts his tongue on a pole. Not sure how long he was stuck but SS10 comes running in the house shouting. Since I enjoy my disengagement, I ignore til DH comes running upstairs and wants me to look at something. SS12 stuck to a pole. Should he have helped him instead of running up to show me? Probably but he thinks these kids a soooo funny and cute and quirky and he really wanted step mommy to see. Ok. Not funny. Back to my room. By this time he had become unstuck on his own. He's 12. His voice changed. He watches porn. Shouldnt he be more mature...i just threw in the porn comment to show he's not a babyish 12. And no we dont allow porn and have taken steps to avoid him getting access again. It was a bad habit last year that we didnt know til we got hold of his internet history. Ewww.
Back to the tongue. Is he impulsive? Immature? Just plain stupid? He does have ADHD(I believe he also has ASD &SPD undiagnosed) and we half his med dosage on non school days.
School better be back in session tomorrow cuz DH needs to go back to work and I can't be responsible for this shit. I will leave and leave SD16 in charge
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Comments
I don’t know. I think it is
I don’t know. I think it is funny. Ridiculous and immature. But sort of funny. Maybe I am immature. Btw, Did he just rip it off? Oh no!
I guess it is good that he didnt convince his litte sibling to do it. That would make me worried. But a 12 yo doing that? Dumb but (mostly) typical.
I Agree
Kids do stupid sh*t. Maybe biochild didn't do this exact thing and maybe you never caught them doing anything like this but I promise you they did something.
It sounds like a pre-teen
It sounds like a pre-teen doing a stupid pre-teen thing, either on a dare or to see if he would actually stick.
I'm sure your kids did stupid stuff that you found hilarious or that you didn't know about. Speed in their cars? Drink underage? Try drugs? Have sex, or make-out with a kid they barely knew? Prank called a neighbor? Tried a cigarette? Stole some candy ore make-up? Watch porn?
All kids do stupid things. Some are just better at not getting caught. Hell, adults do stupid things, too.
I think you want any excuse to prove to yourself that these kids are as awful as you have made them out to be in your mind. For the most part, minus SD, they don't seem to be. Or, I should say, the problem is less them and more your DH's lack of what you would consider sufficient parenting.
SS12 is starting to behave
SS12 is starting to behave like SD16.
Yes my kids did stupid things for sure. Prank calls, fart machine at the library, things I dont know about for sure. I just didnt find them to be so impulsive. Good to know its funny and normal and it's just my general disdain for them that makes it annoying.
If you would have spent one day with these children (12 & 10 now) 2-3 years ago, you wouldnt say they dont seem so bad. They are not so bad now because I have struggled to make my DH a parent. He didnt know how. He thought a 10-11 year old on a computer til 2am was ok and even after he was caught sharing porn with grown men on a chat line, he was grounded from the computer for a week. How bout the phone & and his other ways to access internet like a kindle belonging to a 5 year old cousin. My relationship has suffered in order to make these kids better so yes maybe I have a little resentment toward them. Im mostly disengaged when I can be to save my relationship. Ive been married less than 10 months.
You're resentful of children
You're resentful of children who are a product of your husband's inability to parent. You're focusing your angry at the wrong person.
You may only be married for 10 months, but you have been in this situation long enough to not only recognize these behaviors, but also train your husband to be a better parent regarding them. What you SHOULD resent is that you've had to "mom" your husband to suck less, to the point that it has put a strain on your relationship.
There are some kids who are truly, truly effed because they have their own mental health issues. There is nothing that could have been done them. Most, however, are a product of their own parent's want to parent. I can't even say inability because I can't run across Facebook at any given time without finding at least 2-3 articles about parenting. The information is out there; it's whether someone cares enough to seek it and use it.
So I agree that you need to disengage, but that isn't because the kids are awful. It's because your DH's parenting is sub-par and you're right about not being able to care more than the parents.
Im resentful of the entire
Im resentful of the entire situation and I tell DH how selfish he is for Disney parenting and using the kids to fill his own emotional needs since BM left him. I do not blame the kids for the lack of parenting. Im sick of being around the kids but I don't blame them. I even have empathy for SD16. She is the way she is for a reason. Her mom left her on the street with the other 3 sibs and their stuff to wait for DH to pick them up while her & her bf drove off in a moving truck. BM is a piece if shit & DH is needy. He put that neediness on the kids. Let me buy your love & affection. I may be a teacher but I don't appreciate having to teach DH how to adult. He's defensive at times even though he knows I'm right. He comes back & tells me how right I am when he sees change in the kids but the wedge in our relationship is there to stay. Im distant and that makes his neediness multiply when I pull away.
So why do you stay? Why put
So why do you stay? Why put in 80% effort for 20% reward? You clearly hate this, and you have a means to be on your own. Why psychologically torture yourself?
I think DH sent out a group
I think DH sent out a group text with a pic of a ripped up tongue. I didnt look. Its prob gonna hurt tomorrow. I wake him up at 7 for school after DH goes to work and I dont want to hear it. Maybe I should leave early and have SD16 deal with kids.
I mostly dont think its funny because he does stupid immature things constantly but then he uses the line, DAD Im 12 I can do this and go there. He consistently shows he has immature & impulsive decision making skills and Im the only one who sees this as my husband is an idiot when it comes to raising children.
You know that not normal
He has ADHD, and on meds, So he not by any means NORMAL. If you are truly disengage, this would not effect you. DH and BM made this kid, let them handle him. Just make sure you are not babysitting him. Down side, This kid my never live and be on his own. You may have to really deal with him the rest of your marriage.
Why did you cut down his meds ??? DR. Put him on that amount of medication for a reason. You should not be playing DR
We're weening on weekends til
We're weening on weekends til next dr appt then weening on school days. We're hoping to ween him completely eventually as he is growing out of his symptoms. I dont go to appts so Im not sure.
BM is barely around. Maybe we get 2-3 overnights a month so Im the only support DH has. I come here to vent so I can support him better.