Id like a day off
Monday is a day off school for the skids and I have the day off work so I made a doctor appt. I told DH he should tell BM to take them Sat to Mon instead of Fri to Sun...god forbid she take them an extra day. Anyway he tells me today she says she can't keep them Monday. Ok. I can't either. Im getting up in the morning and leaving. If their sisters have to work they can stay home alone. I'm leaving and coming back in the evening, not babysitting on my day off.
How do i say this nicely? im a nanny. I cherish my days off, having the skids on my day off is like working to me...stuck with kids that are not my own. DH doesn't get it. He thinks i should enjoy the kids as he does. I don't want to start a war but i also need to warn him that he needs to have a sitter that is not his wife.
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You don't need to start a war
You don't need to start a war, just tell him you have appointments on your day off and will not be around. You have already suggested an alternative and he didn't follow through so now it's his problem to solve.
The only way this will stop is if you stop being available to for cover their lack of planning.
Lack of planning, yes, he
Lack of planning, yes, he never even knows what days the kids are off. I remind him for my own sake.
I have one appointment at 11am but Im leaving early in the morning and hope to be gone for 10 hours. The gym, the library, coffee or lunch with a friend ??
About him never knowing when
About him never knowing when his kids are off - I find that a LARGE planning type of calendar, pinned to the kitchen door works for us :)
Why can’t BM have them? In an
Why can’t BM have them? In an intact family they’d have to figure it out. You’re not a babysitter, nor are you the responsible party for these children. So guess what, they still need to figure it out. Simply tell him you’ve got appointments & won’t be in, if he starts an argument bc it’s inconvenient for him, that’s HIS problem. He chose to have these kids, he needs to step up, not you.
Because it's technically "his
Because it's technically "his" custody time.. it really is up to him to figure it out. We always advocate people "stick to the CO". So, he should be the one figuring it out.
If the kids are old enough to stay on their own.. fine. If not, someone needs to be there.
The choices are:
1. Dad takes off work.. but because of bills, this is not an option she wants because it costs money.
2. Hire a sitter... but because of above ... again.. do they want to spend money?
3. Find a door number 3.. maybe there is a relative .. aunt.. grandparents that could do it?
4. OP watches the kids. This option is affordable.. but OP would prefer not to.
I'm not sure there really are other options. BM was asked.. can't do it.
BM has to work and its not
BM has to work and its not her day anyway. I actually kinda like sticking SD16 with the kids especially since she has her license and it will stifle her freedom. No Im not mean, she deserves this right now for her treatment of me, DH, MIL, SIL etc. She was so mean to my SIL last summer as well as SS12 was an ass to her and her 5 year old she doesnt want to be our paid sitter anymore. I wish I could stick them all in camp. SIL saved the kids (11 & 9 at the time)from having to go to camp last summer which they didnt want to do at all.
You have told him you have
You have told him you have plans. You tried to arrange it with BM. It is on him to be the father and figure it out. Good for you for standing up for you self.
I'm with the others - "DH, I
I'm with the others - "DH, I can't watch the skids, I have plans on Monday, so please make other arrangements".
The kids arent that hard to
The kids arent that hard to watch 12 & 10, i honestly just dont enjoy their presence. Like I said its like being at work. I tolerate them. I want to enjoy my day off, not tolerate my day off. DH doesnt understand why I dont want to be home with them. They play their video games, maybe put some processed food out for them. No bother, right? Actually that is the bother. They are not mine and Im not raising them, if I was they wouldnt be in front of a tv/phone/computer all day and eating pop tarts and chicken nuggets. I would have a fruit & veggie tray for my kids and they'd eat it and so would their friends. Like scarf it down...not these kids. Its granola bars and fruit snacks.
We did activities when possible on days off. Not these kids. They just want to buy things when we go out. Going to the zoo...what are we gonna get?. My kids never asked for a thing when we went out. The activity was the treat and we brought a lunch or snacks. Not stopped to get something at every gift shop. I just dont like these kids and their attitude. They are unpleasant and hard to be around. Working til 6pm every night saves my marraige or my sanity or both!
As long as they have a way to
As long as they have a way to contact DH if an emergency arises, I would just leave them home. I leave my 12 year old home alone by herself. She has a cell phone.
These boys need to be watched
These boys need to be watched. They are sneaky little fuckers but since im disengaged from them besides making sure they get on the bus in the morning, I guess I dont care if they watch porn, talk to predators on chat lines and make a huge mess as long as DH cleans up the mess before I get home