When you don’t like spending time with your stepkid
Sd 
has been very difficult to be around lately. She is very rude to me for no reason. My so says she’s like this to everyone but it’s gotten to where I don’t really want to spend time with her. She fights with her brothers, throws tantrums and when she’s told to stop she calls me names. She does not listen or do what she’s told. If you tell her what to do she plays victim and says we are being mean. This kid has it really good. If anything the parenting lacks any sort of discipline. If I am near her dad or showing affection she will get in between us and say he doesn’t love her anymore and are ignoring her (she gets more attention than anyone) when I pick her up she has a frown on her face and says where is daddy. I just don’t enjoy this anymore.
This kid needs much better
This kid needs much better parenting and an attitude adjustment. Not your fault. Refuse to watch them until things change.
Don't spend time with her.
Don't spend time with her. Remind your husband that he needs to teach his kid to be enjoyable to be around if he wants you to have a relationship with her.
Calling an adult names is NOT acceptable. How old is your stepkid? I would be having some serious words with my stepdaughter if she called me a rude name.
Sd is 6.
Sd is 6.
Sounds like entitlement 101,
Sounds like entitlement 101, GSD does the same thing, calls us mean when we discipline her, says she hates us, the works, GSD is 8 so I suggest you get DH working on this kid NOW, it gets worse the longer it goes on, we are still working to get this kid on the right track.
Who a toxic SKid is rude to
Who a toxic SKid is rude to isn't important. That they are rude at all is.
Bring the pain and the state of abject misery until the Skid behavior improves.
Lather, rinse, repeat.
Agree with Rags
the RATTITUDE of this little ingrate needs stamped out and pronto.
I hide in my room from the
I hide in my room from the skids. I hate their faces, their voices, their lying, cheating, stealing, entitled personalities.
They are not my kids
I’m right there with you. Isn
I’m right there with you. Isn’t it horrible that I pay half the mortgage but I hate getting home before the husband just because I can’t stand his kid?
This is me too. I refuse to
This is me too. I refuse to be home alone with them if my DH isn’t there. They’re rude, spoiled and unappreciative. I can’t wait them try to function in the real world. It’s going to slap them down so hard and I really hope I’m there to watch it!
I agree with your comment on
I agree with your comment on how you can't wait for skids to try and function in the real world. I feel the same way and am curious about this as well. I worry that they will not launch with their sense of entitlement, poor attitudes, and laziness. They are spoiled. SS cannot pick up his plate and put it in the dishwasher and he is 9. He loves nothing more than watching tv and playing video games. They both have a huge sense of entitlement and expect mommy or daddy to bring everything to them even a glass of water when they are plenty capable of doing these things themselves. They are waited on hand and foot. When they get older they are going to realize this is not reality. They are also unappreciative. When we go to restaurants they complain about the food and try to order the staff around. They beg to be bought toys and whine if they don't get them but when they do get them they play with them for a few days then they are forgotten about. It will be interesting to see what they will be like as adults (if I am still around).
I'm starting to feel the same
I'm starting to feel the same about SS8. He's actually a pretty polite kid most of the time. Very good with please and thank you. But he also has a BIG sense of entitlement. In the morning, when DH fixes SS's breakfast (he's not tall enough to reach the cereal or milk or, really, the counter in an effective manner so I don't see that part as a big deal), he then delivers it to SS on the couch where SS is playing on his iPad. Then, when SS is through, he fetches the dishes and puts them in the sink. He does the same thing at dessert time. At least at dinner, SS knows he has to put his dishes by the sink. When I handle breakfast or dessert, I make SS come fetch his own food and bring his dishes back when finished. If it's something he can help with (like get ice cream out of the freezer), he does that. No complaining. No questions. But with his dad, he's gotten used to being waited on. DH also tends to tell him things with a "Does that sound OK?" Huh? You're the adult. He's the kid. He doesn't get a say in this.
He's ungrateful. He gets taken on cool trips. DH took him on a cruise this year. BM took him to Disney World. He complained and whined a good chunk of the time. DH griped about it and I just kind of nodded. Inside, I thought, "Well, the answer to that would be stop taking him on expensive fancy trips until he proves he can behave and appreciate what he has."
When I've talked to DH about it, he's agreed and he frequently complains about how spoiled and entitled SS is. I've suggested some things like extra responsibilities around the house, being more vigilant about SS's tone (he can be a little jerk when he's in a mood and, since he's used to being the only child around adults, his way of talking to adults can be too familiar, bordering on rude), etc. DH agrees and does better for a day or two, then goes right back to old patterns.
As I've said before, SS is going to learn the world doesn't revolve around him, that he's not a super-special person to most people out there like he is to Mom and Dad and that he needs to take responsibility for his own actions. The later he learns it, the more painful it will be.
Why are you going to SOs
Why are you going to SOs house when kids are there especially if kids are nasty to you? When they call you names and SO doesn’t make it stop, leave and go home. You keep saying how kids and SO are mean and bad yet you keep going to his house when kids are there? Why? If SO wants to see you, he’ll come take you out etc Stop going to his house
Tough spot you’re in. If she
Tough spot you’re in. If she’s not actually living in your home, then extricate yourself as others have said. This is a problem only your SO can rectify. Be scarce with him, too, until he does. If you continue to be around then you’re giving the message that you will tolerate her bad behavior. The future will be bleak if you do.
Disengage
I feel I’m in a similar situation. For me, I had to disengage. It was a constant battle and SO was doing nothing to help. I mean, he would talk and say “don’t do that” but obviously that didn’t help and there was no actual discipline. So... when I help her fix her hair, she would give me dirty looks in the mirror; I stopped. When I would help her clean her room, she would mess it back up; I stopped. When I organized her belongings, she told me not to touch her things; I won’t anymore. When I fix food, she talks about how nasty it is or smells; I don’t fix it for her anymore. She refuses to listen to me and do what I ask; I no longer keep her while SO is away. When I picked her up from school, she would give me dirty looks from her desk; I stopped. She told lies on me; I no longer am alone with her and will not take her places alone. She bullies and tells lies on her younger siblings; she is not allowed in a room alone with them. You get the point.
I feel this could be totally unavoidable if SO would have disciplined and done something from the get go, but he didn’t. Now, almost 4 years later it’s still happening.
I never understand tolerating
I never understand tolerating nastiness from someone or from their kids if you have your own place and just dating. Dating supposed to be enjoyable. I understand if boyfriend and kids were nice but turned nasty when you marry. Then you stuck. But not now! They are nasty and so is he while you are jusf dating. Why not dating someone else?
Discipline
My sd straightened up when we started disciplining her more. Nothing harsh. We just gave her chores- a lot of chores. She not only became more respectful but she seemed to open up more. Now we are struggling again bc she has learned that she can be as disrespectful as she wants to her dad if she is safe at her mom’s house. And her mom does nothing about it.
My ss is 20
And anytime dad wants to discipline or tell him his behaviour, emotional abuse is unacceptable, the “imaginary stress syndrome activates” and he tells his dad he is this way because of dad.
his mum is never at fault despite being a manipulative narcissistic biatch that never nurtured or raised these kids and hubby was caught in a really tough place and eventually had enough and divorced.
Ss 20 behaviour is not disappearing anytime soon but hubby has just resented him, actually hates him because how he treats us and others and the 2 kids i had with his dad. He is self entitled, if you don’t nip it in the but soon, say hello to a early mid 20 yr old acting out far worser
I was there where you were
I was there where you were when SD was 8. Flash forward to SD17 and nothing has changed. I think for the most part, I always took the approach that when she was little, she was controlled by her crazy BM and always in a tough spot so I gave her the benefit of the doubt. IIunfortunately have discovered that this is simply now a part of her personality. The bullying, entitled, argumentative "if I am in a bad mood or don't get my way I will make the house miserable". THe last she was here several weeks ago, after getting a brand new phone mind you, she lost her sh** when told to do her one chore: finish folding her laundry. My DH loses it, and somehow I get brought into it. I reminded her her brand new car is in my name, so she can feel free to give me the keys. I was then told I was materialistic and I am trying to turn her brother against her. Hasn't been back since. It will be a shock that on Christmas, there are no gifts since I an trying to be so unmaterialistic.
Put her in her place
When my SD first moved in with me (she was 7 at the time) about 2 years ago an incident had happened. She was trying to give me an excuse as to why she didn’t do what I had told her to do. I then interrupted her and said, ”I do not care to hear your excuses.” The next words that came out of her mouth was, “How daré to speak to me that way!” Needless to say I came down on her like Thor’s hammer. I told her she is to NEVER to speak to me in that manner and kept on reprimanding her till she cried. Sent to her room and told her stand in the corner. Was I too hard? Yeah but guess what? Till this day she has never spoken to me in any disrespectful manner. She’s now 9 years old and I make it VERY clear everyday I am the boss. Who knows what will happen when puperty kicks in but i’m ready for it. It’s my way or the highway she can go live with her mother. And if DH has an issue and threatens to leave, well there’s the door. I will not put up with BS!
Good for you!
Stepkids or any other kids for that matter shouldn’t be talking back and trying to boss adults around.
Unfortunately alot of bio parents
feel guilty and let that talking back, being disrespectful and rude to continue. I feel they are trapped and conflicted with their conscience on doing whats right vs not having to deal with drama which further enables the issue.
My husband has seen this now and since about 2 months ago completely disengaged from his 3 kids with ex aged 13, 20 & 22. They have no respect and are self centred entitled arseholes. I’m waiting for the next answering back/blow up session from ss, to see if hubby finally tells him off and if not, i will in front of ss ask hubby “i’m sorry is that how you allow your child to speak to you so disrespectfully?”