Access to medical information
Hello!
I am a recently new SM (or soon to be SM). My boyfriend has requested medical insurance card and health record for SS from the BM but she has been refusing to produce any of them. After several years of being separated, and the SS not knowing that he had a BD and just meeting him a few months ago, my boyfriend and I have him on the assigned weekends but due to living an hour apart of each other we requested the medical insurance info in case of emergency. All she demanded that BD get his own insurance for the SS and refuses to provide us with her information while we get the birth certificate in order so he could get insurance for the SS since he gets insurance through work.
If there was a court ordered paternity test would my boyfriend still need to get his name added on the birth certificate in order to get SS insurance?
Can the BM withhold health and medical information from BD?
We are concerned about his health because he is heavier than an average 11 year old and at risk of future health conditions and we would like to try to prevent that but we don't have access to those information or even know when the last time he went to the doctor was.
Thank you!
What does their court order
What does their court order say? Do they have one? In general, no - the CP can't withhold that information if he is entitled to it.
Even if your DH gets insurance for him, it will be secondary because he already has primary insurance through BM. So they are likely to refuse to pay any of the bills before BM's pays for them.
Put BM down as the guarantor and have the bills sent to her. She sounds like a control freak.
not specified
I can ask my SO to double check the orders, but he has asked twice, once via text, then after the last court hearing the judge ordered that they use the talking parents website and she still refused to provide any requested documents and insurance card. She just demanded that my SO gets his own insurance for her. We are currently under the assumption that she doesn't have insurance for him. But that's just our negative thinking because she is most definitely a control freak. She victimizes herself and says our requests are unrealistic and we are bullying her.
You need to go back to court.
You need to go back to court. It is against the law for her to withold medical information. We battled this with BM, DH was the insurance provider. However all of the Statements of Benefits went to her (we live 1300 miles apart) and she would never tell us anything after being asked. It took me spending almost 4 months of digging to get DH's name put into the doctors offices (she would leave father blank) and get those records. It is a very hard battle. We are back in court next week over it. We at least had a starting point- each doctor lead us to another one. SS was being seen at 3 cardiologists, a rheumatologist, orthodontist, PCP and we had none of it. PS- there is nothing really wrong with SS, this is munchousen syndrome by proxy.
You will have to go get everything ordered specifically for this. She is not allowed with withhold medical.
trials and tribulation
I'm sorry you and your SO have to go through all of that. I am sure that is what we are going to have to face on my end too unfortunately. Thank you so much for your feedback and I will let my SO know so he can file paperwork for another court date.
I carried my SD's on my
I carried my SD's on my insurance (DH self employed and was also on my policy). I gave BM a card.. but would only give the necessary confirmation information directly to the care providers.
If he has a custody order.. and it states she caries the insurance.. she needs to ensure he has what is needed to care for the child when the child is with him.
Compromise
We would fully compromise with her and give her our information if we had it but in the mean time she is not giving us anything. My SO has insurance through the city but in order to get SS on it SO has to be on the birth certificate and so that would be a while to get in order. Next best thing is to go back to court and order her to do so. I will have my SO double check the most recent court papers. Thank you!
If he has custody papers that
If he has custody papers that designate the child as one of his dependents.. that may be enough to add the child on. I mean, adopted kids can be covered right? they don't have birth certs from their adoptive parents.
good thinking
Thank you for your input. I was thinking that since it was court ordered paternity to establish child support that that document alone should be sufficient. I will have my SO call his HR department and ask them.
much appreciated!
DNA test showing biological
DNA test showing biological father, likely is not enough proof.
A court order stating he is responsible for providing health insurance to the named child is usually enough to show workplace the child is ordered to be dependent on SO per the courts for medical insurance.
The benefits dept at work would just file a copy of the court order.
If the child is 11, he probably has had mandated state required school physicals, immunizations, dental checks et. No, not yearly, but sly, better than nothing.
I'm guessing BM may have the child on Medicaid . Being she left the fake 'daddy' then came looking for your SO (real Daddy) , she likely had no choice but to find and prove who the father was while applying for govt assistance.
It also sounds that at this point BM has sole physical and legal custody with your SO having only visitation rights and a child support order for monthly payments
All for the money
The school site listed the last immunization he received per documents that she provided to the school was in 2012. The SS doesn't remember when he went to the doctor but does recall going to the dentist a few months ago.
Yes, she has full physical and legal custody. Court said due to them just reestablishing relationship, regardless of what she did, they will not grant more days. Right now we only have 2 days (weekend). Before she introduced SS to BD she requested an audit of his finances.
In the U.S. adoptive kids do
In the U.S. adoptive kids do have birth certificates that list the adoptive parents as the parents. The birth certificate is changed.
In the process
BD is in the process of getting the birth certificate changed. But he wanted to have her insurance in the meantime in case something happens to SS while he is with us. BM lives 1 hour away from us and stated if something happens she would come with the information which us unrealistic because in traffic it could take up to 2 hours to get to us.
I did not realize this! It's
I did not realize this! It's interesting.
Very true! My stepdad adopted
Very true! My stepdad adopted me and my bio's name was removed and my name changed and my stepdad is listed as dad on mine.
My mom was adopted from an orphange as an infant and her's states my grandparents names. I have no idea what hers said before that becasue when she was given up it was a closed adoption.
Without a court order saying
Without a court order saying anything she can do whatever she wants and honestly I don’t know if his insurance would let him add the kid without something saying he is a legal parent.
What is giving him time with the kid? Odd that a court would order over nights for a parent who basically didn’t exist until months ago. That’s not a jab at you but it seems like you guys are missing a lot more than just insurance cards.
He needs to go to court and have his parental rights established. Any good custody order would include a section about his rights to medical information and children’s insurance.
SO's order states that both parents are to keep the other informed of important events in the children’s life. She isn’t required to send us records. We know where they go to school and who their doctors are. SO can do the leg work from there. She is required to inform us of visits but she doesn’t have to really tell us what happened because again SO is able to pick up a phone and find out for himself.
I’m going to bet that you guys don’t have a complete order yet though so you’ve got a long way to go before you worry about doctors and his weight.
Recent court date
Hi!!
We recently had a court hearing for an adjustment. Before SS was taken away when he was 2 there was a court order stating only Saturday visitations. When BD got him back a few months ago BD and BM agreed on Friday night to saturday night visitation. BD wanted more days and court only allowed Saturday morning to Sunday evening (no big difference). She stated once more bond has been established they will reevaluate more days.
Honestly, the judge was rush the case because she wanted to go on break. So al that was established in court was new days, new exchange location and ordered both parents to communicate via talking parents.
We don't even have the doctor's name.
We had issues getting cards
We had issues getting cards for ages too. THANKFULLY DH now has them underr his name. But prior when she was supposed to upkeep it (she let it lapse, hence why we could get them under DH instead) we had a nightmare of a time getting it. We requested several times for a yeast infection SD5 had. She refused, also refused to take her in, finally her dad made her (After lots of coaxing) by then the yeast infection spread. We again tried after she abandoned them, and finally only got them because she was too lazy about the flu shots and her sister talked her into it.
As said above, it is illegal for her to withhold medical info IF he has legal custody (even partial). But it all really depends on what the CO says. Check that and then request again. If she fails to produce, would taking her in for contempt of court be a valid option? Or no?
Absolutely
My SO would definitely take her back to court for not following court order. She has already broken a few of the court order requirements and instructions. She's just digging herself a grave but contstantly plays the victim and we are a tremendous burden on her for asking for such things.
You may want to dig around
You may want to dig around for this info too:
IS she on state run insurance ie Medicaid? Single mom usually means food stamps, Medicaid for both her and the child, WIC, day care vouchers for free or greatly reduced day care, free or highly reduced housing.. OR does she work? Is she a single mom 'going back to school'---? gvt free money woo hooo and she doesnt have to pay it back.
Who paid for hospital for birth of child? The State?
As much as I do agree neither parent should EVER withhold medical, educational, religious info,,,,many do. Of those who are finally court ordered to anti up all info by a Judge...some will hand the loot over and then some will continue to withhold.
It is most unfortunate.
What I have learned to be true IS this,
If there is nothing to hide hide nothing.
You must find out the kind of BM your dealing with. So far it looks like you may be in for an up hill battle. BUT in all fairness without the DNA proof this child is your boyfriends, I would NOT hand over any info about my child before there is confirmation the child is boyfriends.
perhaps hold off on an opinion whether she will be a nightmare or reasonable until the test is complete.
very true
I appreciate your input a great deal! I will try my best to look around for more information. The last I heard she does have a job working at a brewery, and she recently graduated community college with her AA but don't know if she is continuing.
To clarify, when SS was born they did a court ordered paternity test declaring my SO the BD of the child and he has been paying child support ever since.
Because this woman is evil she claim my SO abused her and she filed a restraining order on him which prevented him from being at the birth of SS thus not being able to be placed on the birth certificate.
Call the insurance company directly
Have DH call the insurance company and request ID cards sent to him. Insurance companies are very familiar with this type of issue and do this all the time. He will need the kids birthdates and possible their ssn. If the first rep tries to deny him, tell him to say there was domestic violence in the relationship (fudge it or whatever) and he can't contact her. There is some type of waiver in place for him to get the cards in a DV situation. I worked for a major ins co for 10 years and still had to play that card to get my kids ID cards with a competitor.
minor issue
I appreciate the information. The problem is we know nothing about what insurance BM has for herself or for SS. Again, she isn't making this easy at all. We have had him on weekends since April and she still ignores our request for the slightest medical information