Is there anyone out there that has been through this kind of crap? Like not just here and there, but years of it? 

I have two SS both around 10. Both turned into totally brainless zombies the second they know some kind of screen is nearby. If you are answering a phone, they are trying to stare at the screen. It's insane. For example... tv is totally off. They both will be walking by and just suddenly stop and stare at it. Gone. Lost to the far winds. It could be a plain blue screen (witnessed this) and both will just stand there looking at it for hours. We did away with the gaming system and tablets because of this. I dont ever remember kids being this way when we were growing up. 

 The younger one has emotional issues. Random raging to then okay and constantly trying to hug people, if he gets in trouble he shuffles super slow and basically does exactly the opposite of what he is being told to do knowing it just aggravates the issue. He sometimes shuts down completely. Won't talk about what's bugging him. It's always something extremely petty or nonsensical. Such as nothing at all, he didnt get a certain candy (yet never asked), has to write spelling words to practice for test like we do everyday, etc. One time he went into a raging fit and refused to get dressed because my wife went to the store just to pay a bill and he wanted some sugary cereal he knew he wasn't going to get (never has had it here?). This was just last week. He was 1 year old when my wife left his dad, so no that isn't it. He's almost NINE! The whining fit lasted a week before he told us what his deal was. He was beating up the neighbors kids over this. He is in therapy, but we aren't getting feedback. He acts all hunky Dori in there. It is so frustrating. The dad is useless piece of work and just keeps saying he never has problems. We know that was a lie.. kids told us that he yells and screams a lot, but wint tell their gal that. Then a handful of strangers and I got to see it first hand that dear dad does have issues with him, but lies about it and blames it all on us. We can't say it's outright abuse because when anyone else is around, "nothing happens at dads". I'm starting to think they are scared or are being bribed into not telling. It is so weird and they act so much differently compared to my friends kids. Only one set of parents are still together. Sometimes these kids are the best ever and other times it's like the idiot switch was flipped. I cant really describe it I guess