I have many many years later still not met BM (and I never ever ever will). My first interaction with her was a 10 page email of her going off on a full on lunatic tangent about DH. She has major borderline personality disorder and is beyond screwed in the head.... I never want to be within 60 miles of the witch. 

Oh my goodness I love telling this story. I was watching her kids while my boyfriend was working . BM dropped them off in the morning and pulls my earrings that she apparently stole out from her bra and stated that she was a crazy kleptomaniac...... I stood there not knowing what to say and I think said thanks. In hindsight I should have sprinted out the door.

It was fine. She was very nervous but on good behaviour. She is crazy, as in BPD, but she values politeness. We are middle class people in England. :-) 

Later encounters were not as positive. 

I think she still doesn't see me as a real person. I can't expect that she will. 

BM just stopped by to drop something off for the kids.  SO had asked her brother to drop it off, but BM apparently wanted a sneak peek at me so she came along with him. I had spent the previous night at SO's house and it was early AM so we were all eating breakfast in our PJs when she showed up. I guess awkward is the best way to describe it. She and I were friendly to each other. I don't even remember how SO acted when she was there, but he apologized after she left and swore that he hadn't known she was coming.

I met her by accident when DH and I had been dating a few months.  I came over to his apartment and she was there, unexpectedly, to drop something off.  They were amicable at the time, and as I learned later, BM thought they were just on a temporary separation and DH was going to come back to her.  She gave me a bitchy look over the top of her glasses, said a cold "hello", and made sure to give DH a hug before she left. lol.

Wish I had a crystal ball at the time to see what she was going to turn into. I would have taken a pass then.

I’m with tog redux on this:

They were amicable at the time, and as I learned later, BM thought they were just on a temporary separation and DH was going to come back to her. 

When DH and I started dating, I think it blindsided BM, for she truly thought she was going to get back with him, or that she was going to keep him on ice for as long as humanly possible. 

Years later, I’ve never been officially introduced to her, not to say that DH never offered, but he knew and I knew that it probably wasn’t for the best, because there’s no virtue in engaging with a high conflict NPD BM. 

We would occasionally run into her when we still lived in the same town as BM. A couple of them were doozies where she very loudly and publicly showed her a$$ to me.

Those incidents really sealed the deal that I didn’t need to formally meet her - ever. It would have most likely resulted in her throwing blows (she was physically abusive with DH - I witnessed several times) and me beating her down in my defense. I’m almost positive DH feels this way, too, and that’s why he never pushed it. 

Mine is relatively uneventful, but we met for the first time right after my DH and I were engaged. She knew about me, and we’d seen each other plenty of times from a distance—like in the car, or just around town (small town). So, there wasn’t much “mystery” there, and a formal introduction wasn’t actually needed, but when the moment arrived where we were all standing around together, I did actually introduce myself to her and she did to me. She didn’t really look me in the eye until after we did do that introduction. It was a little awkward at first, but after that it seemed like we made it over the hump of introductions and subsequent times spent with her got smoother and smoother. That first meeting I remember she seemed a little nervous, maybe just wanting to get it over with or maybe just wanting to not have to deal with me. Either way, by that point in my relationship with DH, and her relationship with her SO—I think we both kind of figured we were all in this for the long haul so we just collectively decided to suck it up and deal with having to be around each other. Especially since things like extracurricular and school stuff would force us all to be around each other more and more.

Our relationship is one that is a little standoffish towards each other, we don’t ever communicate via text or phone, we don’t interact at all unless we’re doing something for my stepkid. But when we do interact, it’s pretty cordial and she and I will talk to each other or sit together and have light conversation. I think from an outsiders perspective we probably seem like a really functional blended family, which other step parents know is not always the case, but to the regular other soccer moms and dads, it leaves the questions to a minimum and people assume we all just get along and there’s no animosity.

As far as how DH interacts around her when I’m there, that’s tough to say because when it’s all of us together it’s mostly me and her talking. DH doesn’t act different towards me in front of her, he still holds my hand or puts his arm around me like he would if she weren’t there. She does the same with her SO, so there hasn’t been any weird treatment from him towards me or from him towards her.

I met BM and her SO about 4 months into our relationship.  I went with DH to drop off the SS’s.  I knew she knew about me and I also knew she was mad at DH for breaking up with his last girlfriend.  The former GF would bend over as far as she could to kiss BMs ass and would even take vacAtion time from work so she could watch the little darlings while BM and her SO went out of town for trips.   BM was polite but quiet and her SO tried to give me step parent advice.  That is when it all went dow hill.  My OSS was 12 at the time and very quiet and hard to get close to.  He and I hit it offf immediately.  The SO started to tell me how it could take 6 months or more for OSS to accept me, DH piped up and commented on how OSS and I were already close.   The whole mood changed and OSS was never comfortable around me again.   DH has to brag and it bit all of us in the butt.   Now I have zero relationship with BM, her SO it OSS.   I avoid them at all costs.

Though I didn't actually meet her, I first saw BM in person because she and I were coincidentally on the same flight!

I had been dating SO for almost a year at this time and he wanted me to meet his parents and other family members.  I had already met skids many times at this point so they knew who I was but I had only seen one or two photos of BM.  I had a general idea of what she looked like.

My SO had taken vacation and was with skids visiting his parents home at a town some distance away.  BM was going to fly in, pick up skids at airport from SO, and then fly with them to her parents home for the rest of the summer.  My SO had suggested I fly in on the same day as he would be able to pick me up after exchanging skids.  I made my flight reservations on my own, so when I told my SO my airline and flight number he had a strange look on his face but said that it would work out OK.  

As I was standing in line waiting to check in at the airport, I noticed this very sloppy looking woman in line before me.  She was dressed in crusty, stained, dirty leggings and a fleece top that was absolutely covered in animal hair; I could see it all the way back where I was standing in line.  Her dirty uncombed hair looked like a rats nest and she didn't look like she had showered in some time.  Something about her was vaguely familiar.  She was totally unprepared when it was her turn, and she annoyingly held up the line trying to get her stuff together.  While she was pulling things out of her bag at the counter, I noticed a distinctive uniquely identifiable folder with her papers that made it obvious this was BM!  I heard the counter agent repeat the flight and gate info for her and I was stunned.  

I could not believe it.   BM was on the same flight as me!   I was horrified thinking I might wind up sitting next to her!  I had planned to make an emergency plea for a seat change if I needed to but it turns out it wasn't necessary.

Then it actually became kind of interesting.  BM had no idea who I was but I knew who she was so I was able to observe her.  Not only was she on the same flight but she wound up sitting near me.  I was able to scope her out more closely and realized that she was indeed a messy public embarassment that my SO had indicated she was.  I could not believe someone would be out in public in such a sloppy condition with absolutely filthy clothing.  I am sure her seat-mate was none to pleased when she plopped her butt in the seat!  

After I got over the initial shock of seeing BM on my flight, I think it began to sink in that this woman was going to be a feature in my life (albeit indirectly as the skids mother) as long as I was with my SO.   Seeing her in person made it REAL somehow.  

I began mulling over the fact my SO had actual "baggage" that came with him, including this other woman who had influence over his life and who he would always have a history and connection to. Dealing with the skids was one thing but to actually see this woman who had such power over skids (and him) was another.   This was the point it all synthesized and became real for me, I think.  

I saw my SO waiting at the designated time and place, which was some time after the flight had arrived.  In the meantime, I had some time to think while I sat somewhere and had a cup of coffee.  I then remember going to the general area and hiding in a place he couldn't see me, thinking, "I can just turn around and take a flight home and be done with this."   And I did seriously contemplate it.

After about 10 minutes past our designated meeting time, I saw how worried he became.  How he was searching around the area looking for me.  How alone he seemed.  How he had so many good, decent qualities.  How much he loved me.  I figured this man was worth it. 

So I stepped forward.  

my skids bm at a school play. my dh has majority custody and she walked up to where my dh and I were sitting and took a picture of me with her phone. A few months later my dh ended up with a restraining order against her, then the school ended up with a restraining order against her.(my dh, because she told a judge she was going to shoot him with his gun and the school because she showed up there and tried to pull the kids out and cops were called). She was and still is psychotic. 

First time I met Psycho was at a pick-up (several months in, she was never home for most of them and her roommate would have the kids). She proceeded to try and flirt with DH, call him nicknames, and the further proceeded to call me a wh0re. Good times were had by all. Self-restraint was used to it's fullest extent to not break her nose or tear out an eyeball on that Psychotic loon's face. NOthing quite makes me more pissy than someone trying to make a move on my DH and not understanding I could have them pinned in about two seconds flat if they don't knock it off. I'm territorial. LMAO

Oh Jeez. This story will not be helpful to you at all, but Crazy was coming to pick up skids while my SO was at work. I wanted nothing to do with her, because she was constantly bashing me to my SO. Anyway, right before she got there SD9 and SS12 were kind of messing around, and SS opened the front door, which hit SD's bare foot...she got a cut and was bleeding and started screaming at the top of her lungs. This was only a few months into our relationship, and I couldn't find any band-aids or the neosporin, so I'm trying to talk to SD and also put a band-aid on (I eventually found one), but she just kept on screaming with the front door wide open, and THAT, folks, is when BM comes up to the front door. She sees SD screaming and bleeding, refusing to let me put a band-aid on. She's all "oh come here baby, what did she do to you"?, as if I stabbed a child. SD finally calms down and they  all go outside, and BM says, where is the box for SD's medical equipment? (it's just some stupid little cardboard box the machine came in years ago). I had no f'ng clue, my SO put it somewhere. I looked and couldn't find it, and finally just said, I have no idea. I was so stressed out. About 15 minutes later she text my SO and said that she walked up and SD was screaming and bleeding because of something I had done to her, and that I couldn't find the box for the medical equipment and she didn't want me near her children. *eyeroll* 

Yes, I made SD bleed, and not having the stupid cardboard box for the medical equipment is just sooo dangerous to your kids. Idiot. But still, the first "meeting", literally could not have gone worse, although it was never going to be a good meeting anyway.

I have been friends with DH for over 15 years so I knew him before BM came into the picture.  My DH met BM at work. He introduced us about 2 months later.  She was polite when we met but then immediately told DH that he wasnt allowed to talk to me anymore.  For the entire time they were together, I would get random texts, emails and facebook messages from her that warnes me to stay away from DH. I did stay away too, except for the times we would run into each other in public.  

Fast forward a few years and DH and her separate.  I also got divorced and we reconnected. We were just friends for years but she still continued to send messages warning me to stay away from her kids.  Its funny mow because I am raising one of her kids full time and she still claims to be in love with my DH. He wont even speak to her unless its necessary.

Actually, I was friends with her, and DH was friends with my exH. She cheated on him with his friend, and I was working my way out of my terrible marriage. He left her after he found out about her affair, and I filed for divorce 6 months later. We started talking to each other a couple months after that. Needless to say, I ruined her plans of getting him like she thought she would. And she has made my life hell since. 

The first time I "met" BioHo, we didn't actually exchange words. But she did get a great view of my naked arse...

It was a mid-Saturday morning, and DH's phone rings. It's BioHo. DH didn't answer. 15 minutes laters, it rings again. 'Ho. Aaaaaaand 20 minutes later, it rings. 'Ho again. DH turned off the ringer and put it in his work bag. I started making our planned "Special Breakfast".

Now, Special Breakfast is a little tradition we have. I make scrambled eggs, back bacon, and biscuits and put 3-4 jars of jam on the table (DH luuuuuurrrrrvvvsss his jam!). And I do it wearing my apron. ONLY my apron. DH makes fresh coffee and sets the table. He's NOT wearing an apron.

The bacon is done, the biscuits are 2 minutes from coming out of the oven, and I'm scrambling the eggs when there is a knock on our door. Our back door, which opens into the kitchen. Can you guess who? If you guessed 'Ho, you're right!! It was all I could do to keep from screaming with laughter with what DH did next.

He grabbed the towel-lined basket (awaiting the biscuits, slapped it over his naked crotch, yanked open the back door and bellowed, "WHAT!!!"'Ho, mouth agape, looks at my stone-faced, NAKED (except for that basket!) husband, looks through the doorway to see my BARE ARSE (pink apron strings neatly tied in a bow at my waist) at the stove, and stammers out, "I-I-I-I w-wanted to know if-if-if you a-an-and Aniki are p-playing trivia tonight." DH barked, "NO!" and slammed the door in her face.

We heard her go out the screen door, start up her car, and leave. THEN I started laughing and said, "DH, the biscuits are ready. Are you done with that basket now?"

When I finally met 'Ho face-to-face, I was the Stoic Finn and said next to nothing while she blathered on.

Never officially met her. She is dangerous (as has psychiatruc hospital stays for violent behaviors and had police called on her, she also assaulted SD couple of times etc). DH is afraid of her and SDs have no relationship with her. So I hope to never meet her. She recently ended up homeless (slept between shelters and her car) and asked one of DHs relative  where DH and I live. Relative didn’t tell her. But DH couldn’t sleep for few days worrying she’ll show up at the door.

I never want to meet her. 

The first time I met the SpermIdiot and SpermGranny (SpermGrandHag) was about 4mos after my bride and I started dating.  I had flown up to visit her at her home town when she was there over Spring break which she had left school early for due to a court date for the SpermClan's attempt to gain custody.  They postponed (again) so that hearing didn't happen.  Reschedual and delay was one of the tactics to bankrupt my bride and IL clan during the custody battle.

I was working in the Bay area at the time and took that opportunity to fly up to SpermLand (Oregon) to see my then GF and the kid...... and to meet her family.  It also coincided with the wedding of her HS BFF.

I rented a very nice brand new convertable sports car for DW the Skid and I to use on that visit.  DW and the SKid were at DW's GM's house waiting for the SpermIdiot and SpermGrandHag to come pick up the kid for an overnight.  There was no visitation schedual established at that time and DW was being her usual magnanimous nice self.

DW, her GM, the Skid, the SpermIdiot and SpermGrandHag were in the front yard when I drove up from the airport. I was in a nice business suit (I had exec meetings that AM), driving the cool rental and when I pulled up SS shreeked "Daddy!" . I got out of the car and he ran across the yard to me and we did our usual play thing with me tossing him way up in the air, swinging him around and the two of us chasing each other around.  It had been about 30days since I had seen either FDW or the Skid.

SpermGrandHag was demonstrably pissed off over that. SpermIdiot just stood there sheepishly wilting.  He was in jeans halfway down his thighs with his dirty boxers hanging out, a ratty grungy T-Shirt, had his hair rubber banded into dozens of little puff balls all over  his head (He wore that same crap hair to court  5mos later the judge bared his ass for it), and hadn't showered in a couple of days (from the grunge and Stank).

After introductions and a few minutes of the Skid and I playing while DW and the SpermClan reps talked they tried to leave.  Their car wouldn't start for several minutes and eventually gave out a loud backfire and a cloud of black smoke before they limped off down the street.  I had my arm around DW's waist as we waived them off.

DW and I loaded in the convertable to go to dinner and took off passing them a couple of minutes later.  We waived as we went by.

And that is the first time the SpermIdiot and I layed eyes on each other.  It was also the first time SpermGrandHag and I layed eyes on each other.  That pretty much set the tone of the entire next 16+ years. SpermGrandHag and I were immediately mortal enemies and the SpermIdiot wilted every time he layed eyes on me. Apparently he is usually very cocky and sure of himself.  Not so much around me and interestingly he is no longer that way around my bride.  He pretty much grovels when he sees her.   

The icing on the cake was when SS-26 asked me to adopt him when he was 22.   I was daddy at the first meeting and have been Dad(dy) ever since.  Interestingly after two decades spent detesting my existence, as I have hers, SpermGrandHag congratulated SS on the adoption and stated that she was glad that he had such a good example in his life.    

*shok* 

That nearly made me want to cancel my plans to piss on her coffin when it is lowered into the dirt.  Nearly.

*diablo* 

*dirol* 

DH and I were dating and BM and skids showed up together at one of his performances (he's in a band).  I helped DH set up and noticed this odd birdlike woman sitting with skids glaring at me.  At first I was confused then realized who it was since I recognized her from her photos.  She left before I could introduce myself but I haven't seen her at any of his other events since and it's been 6 years now.

In hindsight I think bringing BM to DH's performance was a set up by adult ss's. They knew DH and I were together and that I'd likely be there.  "Let's bring mom to run off dads new gf."  It totally backfired and DH didn't talk to or acknowledge her at all.  

I've seen her a few times in passing but we never speak and quickly act like we don't see each other so really we've never officially met.