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I left! I could no longer live with wife and step kids anymore

Maxwellheadroom's picture

Submitted by Maxwellheadroom on Thu, 10/11/2018 - 6:07pm

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Adult Stepchildren

HI all 

First time poster i will be quick. I left!  I filled for divorce about 6 months ago.  We have a child together and she has 2. I just couldnt take it anymore!  There is only so much disrepect I can take.  On top of that I was undermined eveytime i tried to be the daddy.

I was the cook, house maid and cab service for kids our entire marriage and I was shit on daily.  You know it just boils down to respect! I got zero and reached my breaking point.  My wife what can i say, after years of abuse from her i just resented her.  

we spoke of possibly reconcilling but the the though of going back into that situation is too much to even consider.  I like my apt, my dog and my peace.  Am i selfish?  i pay child support and see my child almost daily and spend more time then she does.  My kid wants to live with me says the house is chaotic, as it alwasy has been.

So here i am in my own apartment and for the first time in years i can truley say i am happy.  I do have some guilt though.  

i just wanted to get that out.

2Tired4Drama's picture

Submitted by 2Tired4Drama on Thu, 10/11/2018 - 6:21pm

Give us a bit more background about your stepkids - are they teens, adults?

 

Maxwellheadroom's picture

Submitted by Maxwellheadroom on Thu, 10/11/2018 - 9:52pm

i was brief in my introduction post.  my step kids are 16 and 20. ones and adult so far.

amandagorte's picture

Submitted by amandagorte on Fri, 10/12/2018 - 1:33am

My house is chaotic! there are 5 kids here. My husbands older 3 and our 2 babies that we have together. I hate it. My husband and i never spend time together and every situation in the home is about his older kids! I understand where your coming from.

Rags's picture

Submitted by Rags on Fri, 10/12/2018 - 10:16am

Welcome, I hope that you find this to be a good place to vent, contribute and to pick up some useful advice from others who are navigating the blended family adventure.

You left. It was toxic.  I get it. 

Now start managing the situation to protect your own child from the shallow and polluted half of  their gene pool.  No more ignoring physical assault from your STBXW.  Put her ass in jail.  Call the  police, go on the full frontal assault of defending yourself and your child from the "professional victim".

If you child is old enough to communicate that they want to life with you and effectively communicate about the chaos in the XW's then the kid is old enough to be seasoned with the facts, the CO, the divorce decree, etc... so that they can be prepared to protect themselves from their toxic BM and elder half sibs.

Do not sacrifice your child on the alter of the toxic BM and the alter of  your own happiness.  Thats not right and no kid should have to suffer the toxic parent's home drama without the backing, support (not just financial) and defense of the quality parent.

Take care of you, take care of your kid.

Good luck.