BM keeps giving money to SS
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Ever since SS started living with us a couple months ago, Bm has been transferring 200 to SS's personal bank account for him to do whatever with. It is really annoying because then he goes on Amazon and buys all this garbage and brags about the money. Is there anything we can do about this? Btw she has not been paying child support.
Nope. There is nothing you
Nope. There is nothing you can do about this. This doesn't count as child support (if you went through the state) but a gift she is giving to her kid. Remind yourself that she can keep sending him all this money but she can't do it forever and money doesn't replace parenting. You know why she is doing this--bribery, buying his love, trying to be the "cool" parent....let her. She is setting herself up for problems because what is going to happen when she stops? He gets upset? He second guesses her love because she is no longer sending it to him in cash form but he will see her buying herself things and it will all come around and bite her in the butt.
I get it but there are other
I get it but there are other kids in the house and im worried that they will wonder why their brother gets money to blow every month and they don't. I wouldnt care much if he was our only child.
Is the BM supposed to pay CS?
Is the BM supposed to pay CS? If so, go after her for it. Probably when she has to give the money to your husband she'll stop giving money to the kid.
Take her back for the child
Take her back for the child support... problem solved
Nail her ass for CS arrears
Nail her ass for CS arrears and put a lien on her home and cars.
Wait a minute. Whatever
Wait a minute. Whatever happened to parents being able to control what their kids do with money? When I got gift money as a kid, I wasn't allowed to run out and spend it on anything I like. The fact that it comes from BM doesn't mean jackshit. You should still be able to tell him what he can and can't buy.
Shut down his ability to use Amazon. He's 14 and DH is the custodial parent. Does he have a credit card of his own that he's using? Let him know that he needs to save the money BM is giving him for something significant, and he will need to talk to you guys about what he wants to spend it on and get approval.
Dh and i talked about it last
Dh and i talked about it last night and decided that we should use the account betqeen BM and SS as his savings account and make a new one that we have access to and release a bit at a time for him as his spending money. The only problem is when BM finds out she will say we are taking the money she is gifting to SS. DH doesnt want to nail her for arrears. She is court ordered to pay 100 a month which she does not pay but DH won't do anything about it.
If DH is expecting different
If DH is expecting different results he needs to do something different. He needs to nail BM for arrears. He is shortchanging his kid by not nailing BM's ass to the wall for nonpayment of CS. Part of his duty as the CP is to protect the kid's best interests. Enforcing CS is part of that. Kids are smart. They know what is going on. They need to know that their NCP is supprting them financially and that their CP is looking out for their best interests. They need to know the facts of their situation in an age appropriate manner. Reviewing the CO including the CS elements is part of that.
If your DH isn't willing to
If your DH isn't willing to go after the BM for the CS, then he must not really care that much about SS having spending money from BM. I'm sure the two are related.
I think he does not want to
I think he does not want to be the one that send's his kid's mom to prison?
He is very passive and doesnt even think BM should have to pay because he doesnt need her money apparently. But my money gets pooled into the family finances and getnused for all kids including SS.
IMHO this issue isn't
IMHO this issue isn't necessarily about money. It is about the best interests of the Skid(s). And that includes the Skid(s) having access to and the benefits of the income of both of their bio parents. An NCP that does not pay according the the CS ordered in the CO is shortchanging their kid and a CP that does not enforce the payment of CO'd CS by the NCP is failing to deliver on the best interests of the kid(s).
That was my stance in forcing CS onto deadbeat NCPs.
While the SpermClan was whining, crying and gnashing their teeth about how it was unfair that they had to pay CS, and dumping that on the Skid I was countering it with CO reviews with the kid showing him that his mom and I had no choice since it was ordered by the courts. We never needed the money but the kid needed to know that his SpermClan was supporting him even at the pittance level ($110/mo at the time).
At least that is how we operated.
Child support is actually the
Child support is actually the right of the child- so non-custodial parent should always be paying what they are supposed to.
That being said, it clearly doesn’t bother DH whether he gets it or SS gets it directly. So I guess it is all a moot point then, and DH then has no right to complain about anything. She is sort of paying it but just directly to SS as he benefits from what she is giving. It is your DH’s responsibility to make sure he is getting the support- but he is clearly ok with it if he isn’t willing to do anything about it.... and I guess at least she is giving something (actually double what she is mandated to).